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 Post subject: JPaul Recovery Thread
PostPosted: Sun Jul 05, 2020 7:27 pm 

Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2015 6:10 pm
Posts: 3
Lesson 1

A. Three keys to establishing a successful foundation for permanent change in early recovery are:
1) actively committing yourself to change
2) not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change
3) allowing yourself time to change.

Consider where you feel you are in relation to each of these recovery keys? Briefly share your thoughts in your Recovery Thread.

1) I feel I am willing to commit myself to change. I have been active in a 12 step group for sexual issues for about five years. It has been helpful but I've not reached the level of health that I had hoped for, so I am willing to try something else and I am committed to working towards a healthy sexuality. That has been my goal for a long time and I feel like I just have not found the path that will get me there yet. I am hoping RN is that path.

2) I am not sure how to answer this one exactly. I know I have shame over my sexual acting out, and I know that creates a negative cycle of wanting to numb those feelings which creates desire to act out more. I have had periods of abstinence and I felt better, and did not feel as much shame so I am hoping that will be the case now and as I progress through the lessons.

3) I am anxious to find a healthy sexuality, but I have been struggling with it for a very, very long time so I think I will be happy with any progress. I also realize that the thoughts processes, emotions etc tied to acting out are very ingrained in me and it will take time to counter act that and develop new ways of thinking and new habits.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 06, 2020 7:27 pm 

Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2015 6:10 pm
Posts: 3
Lesson 1

B. Beyond an active commitment to change, another important factor in determining your ultimate success is your motivation. Look deep inside and list ten to fifteen reasons why you seek to permanently change your life.

- I want a healthy intimate relationship with a partner.
- I want to be free from the shame/guilt/isolation that the addition brings
- I want to use the time I have to be productive and positive, not wasted in addictive and unhealthy behaviors
- To be closer to my Higher Powers will for me and my life
- To feel more open and free
- To be free of the secondary effects, like poor sleep habits, poor eating habits
- To feel better about myself, better self esteem
- To have more energy and enthusiasm for life
- To be more emotionally available for all relationships in my life
- To be able to perform normally in intimate situations, to be comfortable and confident when physically intimate with someone
- To see potential partners through a wider lens than just physical appearance and attraction.

PostPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2020 6:23 pm 

Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2015 6:10 pm
Posts: 3
Lesson 2

What I would like my life to be like, my Vision for my life:

To always humble myself to my Higher Power.

To commit myself to a loving and intimate relationship with one woman, to build physical and emotional intimacy with that person.

To always commit to honesty and integrity in what I do and what I say.

To lead when I am able, and to always have the mindset of service to others.

To be a productive member of society, through my work, charitable giving, and participation.

To pursue excellence (not perfection) in my work.

To contribute in a loving and positive way to the lives of all member so my family of origin. To especially try to be a positive example to my nieces and nephews.

To remain committed to a life of recovery, to participation in the recovery community, especially the AA community.

To be grateful and appreciative of the friends I have in my life, and to act in a way that will help them be grateful I am in theirs.

PostPosted: Wed Jul 08, 2020 6:57 am 
Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3911
Location: UK
welcome to RN, but hoping that the frequency of your posts increases
why did it take so long after sign up to actually take the plunge ?


welcome to a proven well trodden path for recovery
if you really do want to improve your life and remove those self inflicted shackles of addiction and to recover from your emotion driven compulsive behaviours then you are at a good place to make that a reality, RN can show you the way
To achieve recovery then commit , fully and completely
work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand, this community is supportive to those who demonstrate sincerity in their journey
coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path, you have not been abandoned

the path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone, many have taken the path successfully, your actions are yours but you are not the first and unfortunately will not be the last
we usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting , reading, evaluating and putting into practice what you have learned, be open be honest, nobody here will judge you
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination

your vision is good but it could be better by adding a few "how" "why"and "whens"

IMO the vision is the cornerstone of recovery, so the more detail the better
your call

lets get committed totally committed and look forwards to being that better man
remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best

Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo

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