Recovery Nation

Personal Development Forum
It is currently Fri Dec 13, 2019 10:20 am

All times are UTC - 5 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 45 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next
Author Message
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2019 10:00 am 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jun 18, 2019 10:26 pm
Posts: 39
Lesson 14 - Health Monitoring

For today, I used my value list to generate good questions. I am about to create a form so I can just submit it daily. The time I am choosing to do this monitoring will be as soon as I get to my desk at work in the morning.

Exercise Fourteen
I. Develop your Daily Monitoring list. Construct it in some sort of word processing document (Word, Notepad, Wordpad, etc.) so that you may update it as needed. Post this list into your Recovery Thread.
Note: If you are in personal coaching, your Coach will help you build this in Session II. It will then be converted to an online form so that they can assist you in accountability. Please have your initial monitoring plan ready for review by that second session.


1. Did I carry myself as a person worthy of respect today
2. Did I engage in any impulsive or compulsive behavior or thinking today?
1. If yes did I maintain an awareness of the elements involved
2. Did I create a break as soon as I became aware of it?
3. Was I truthful in everything I shared with my wife today?
4. Was I compassionate towards myself and others today?
5. Did I follow through with everything I said I would do today?
6. Did I engage in active self-care and self-soothing today?
7. Did I engage in mindfulness or spirituality today?
8. Did I use good boundaries and reciprocity today?
9. Did I study and get organized today?
10. Did I react without pausing or thinking whether negatively or positively?
1. If yes, did I maintain awareness of being reactive
Did I create a break as soon as I became aware of it


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2019 10:00 am 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jun 18, 2019 10:26 pm
Posts: 39
Lesson 14 - Health Monitoring

For today, I used my value list to generate good questions. I am about to create a form so I can just submit it daily. The time I am choosing to do this monitoring will be as soon as I get to my desk at work in the morning.

Exercise Fourteen
I. Develop your Daily Monitoring list. Construct it in some sort of word processing document (Word, Notepad, Wordpad, etc.) so that you may update it as needed. Post this list into your Recovery Thread.
Note: If you are in personal coaching, your Coach will help you build this in Session II. It will then be converted to an online form so that they can assist you in accountability. Please have your initial monitoring plan ready for review by that second session.


1. Did I carry myself as a person worthy of respect today
2. Did I engage in any impulsive or compulsive behavior or thinking today?
1. If yes did I maintain an awareness of the elements involved
2. Did I create a break as soon as I became aware of it?
3. Was I truthful in everything I shared with my wife today?
4. Was I compassionate towards myself and others today?
5. Did I follow through with everything I said I would do today?
6. Did I engage in active self-care and self-soothing today?
7. Did I engage in mindfulness or spirituality today?
8. Did I use good boundaries and reciprocity today?
9. Did I study and get organized today?
10. Did I react without pausing or thinking whether negatively or positively?
1. If yes, did I maintain awareness of being reactive
Did I create a break as soon as I became aware of it


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2019 1:34 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jun 18, 2019 10:26 pm
Posts: 39
Lesson 15 Exercises:
I. Take a minute to review what you have learned over the past two weeks. Of what you have learned so far, think of one example of how you have actively integrated that information into your day-to-day life. Share this in your personal thread.


I think there are a few key things that I've learned:
* Writing out my personal vision has informed me on what matters to me in my life. It allows me to revisit when I am making certain decisions, and figure out how they may fit into it
* Prioritizing my own values has showed me a way to evaluate decisions more easily. I use the top 3 - 5 values a lot. It's easy to remember that honesty is pretty high. That compassion is pretty high. And then go from there. But then I also added having good boundaries. So now I am working on being able to do both well. Values have been incredibly valuable. Just need to revisit them often.

* Honesty: I like the idea that it is really a choice of whether you want to manage your life with honesty as a proactive measure or not. I also am really learning that being honest with myself is the most important part of that journey of honesty. IF lying is never an option, that means I have to be way more prepared. I have to manage life with more responsibility. This is the biggest area for growth for me. While I've made the decision to live an honest life, and I am doing so every day, It is a more ingrained behavior to protect myself or others from the truth. So actively engaging with that has been important

* Measuring recovery health by emotional management rather than abstinence: this means that I am looking at my life and seeing if I am living in a healthy balanced way. Feeling like I have the emotional tools to handle lifes ups and downs is more important than anything else.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2019 6:21 am 
Offline
Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3846
Location: UK
Hello LC
you wrote
Quote:
Consider the values that surround both your healthy and unhealthy patterns. Are they consistent with your current prioritized values? If yes, wonderful. If not, how might this awareness alter how you are currently perceiving/managing your recovery? Share your thoughts in the community forum.

This isn't a very clear question and I am not sure what it is getting at. Help and guidance maybe helpful here.


however in following that with

Quote:
I think there are a few key things that I've learned:
* Writing out my personal vision has informed me on what matters to me in my life. It allows me to revisit when I am making certain decisions, and figure out how they may fit into it
* Prioritizing my own values has showed me a way to evaluate decisions more easily. I use the top 3 - 5 values a lot. It's easy to remember that honesty is pretty high. That compassion is pretty high. And then go from there. But then I also added having good boundaries. So now I am working on being able to do both well. Values have been incredibly valuable. Just need to revisit them often.

* Honesty: I like the idea that it is really a choice of whether you want to manage your life with honesty as a proactive measure or not. I also am really learning that being honest with myself is the most important part of that journey of honesty. IF lying is never an option, that means I have to be way more prepared. I have to manage life with more responsibility. This is the biggest area for growth for me. While I've made the decision to live an honest life, and I am doing so every day, It is a more ingrained behavior to protect myself or others from the truth. So actively engaging with that has been important


and especially
Quote:
* Measuring recovery health by emotional management rather than abstinence: this means that I am looking at my life and seeing if I am living in a healthy balanced way. Feeling like I have the emotional tools to handle lifes ups and downs is more important than anything else.


I believe that even perhaps without realising you have answered your own question
you are making progress you see and accept that fact and you realise the implications of not continuing on your recovery path

well done :g: :g:

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2019 3:01 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jun 18, 2019 10:26 pm
Posts: 39
Lesson 16


I. Consider the POSITIVE role that addiction has played in your life. What purposes has it served (think short-term, not long)?
Understanding the functional role of your addiction is important in removing the power, mystery and fear from that addiction — to begin seeing it in terms of practicality, rather than as some kind of supernatural fate or disease that you are doomed to suffer.
Share a few positive aspects of your addiction in your recovery threa



I really don't know if it has been addiction for me. It felt more like an exploration and self-indulgence rather than addiction. However, why did it take me so long to stop? I think what was positive is that sexual stuff has represented my realm of freedom. The realm of independence where I could give zero shit about stuff. It has served as a way to allow me to manage really heavy responsibility and feel like I have a recreational avenue for just myself. Something I do that produces new experiences and exciting things but is just mine and I don't answer to anybody in it. It also served as a way for me to deal with gender identity issues without having to be vulnerable in an intimate relationship.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2019 3:39 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jun 18, 2019 10:26 pm
Posts: 39
I. Consider a particular compulsive ritual that you have engaged in. Identify the elements of this ritual and post them in your recovery thread. It is important that you understand the principles involved in identifying the stimulating elements of compulsive rituals...so if you are not comfortable with this concept, ask questions! Also, recognize that the elements listed above are not the only elements associated with compulsive behavior. And so, you will want to identify those elements that are specifically related to YOUR compulsive behavior.


NSA sexual encounters. The key elements of this ritual were:
Sensory - touch
Fantasy - thinking about the possibility before it happens and building up the anticipation
Past - having a similar experience as a teenager that serves as the arousing pattern
Danger - the aspect of meeting a stranger that makes it risky
Power - the possibility of giving up some of the power to someone else and enjoying not being in charge
Orgasm - reaching orgasm
Accomplishment - finding someone


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2019 3:41 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jun 18, 2019 10:26 pm
Posts: 39
Thank you Coach Kenzo for the feedback. Very helpful and it's nice to hear some encouragement


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2019 3:44 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jun 18, 2019 10:26 pm
Posts: 39
One honest reflection I'd like to add. I struggle with some of the content at this stage. It is not that I don't think it's useful - I do and I am giving it my attention. However, some of the examples feel alienating to me. Violent sexual acts, etc feel like an extreme spectrum and very hard to read through and identify with. It feels like they shouldn't be used as examples.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Aug 31, 2019 2:43 am 
Offline
Recovery Mentor

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 149
Hi Lastingchange,

Quote:
One honest reflection I'd like to add. I struggle with some of the content at this stage. It is not that I don't think it's useful - I do and I am giving it my attention. However, some of the examples feel alienating to me. Violent sexual acts, etc feel like an extreme spectrum and very hard to read through and identify with. It feels like they shouldn't be used as examples.


I understand what you are saying here, I too had made no relation to some of the examples used in the workshop, but I understood what John was trying to get across by using them. I was never abused or had any trauma in my younger life, nothing to trigger the compulsive behaviour that lead me to becoming an addict, but I seem to identify with the examples because it was all about the urge and getting immediate gratification for an emotion I had.

The important bit for me in each lesson was always bringing it back to my values and leading a health based life

_________________
“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2019 2:23 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jun 18, 2019 10:26 pm
Posts: 39
My problem isn't with that. It's with examples of sexual compulsive examples such as rape, etc or anything of non-consensual nature. To me, crossing the boundary of non-consensual sex and harming someone intentionally isn't the same as adult consensual sex. Examples including that alienate me, even if they mean well.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2019 4:27 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jun 18, 2019 10:26 pm
Posts: 39
Checking in and doing some reflection. Things are getting busy with work, school, and life

Overall, I haven't been able to do the daily health monitoring for 30 days straight. I did glean something from it. My most difficult task is to prioritize self-care when busy. It's also to be reliable and organized. I've noticed that this produces a lot of stress that is avoidable in my life

I am attempting to the daily health monitoring this week every day in the morning for the day prior


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2019 8:41 am 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jun 18, 2019 10:26 pm
Posts: 39
Lesson 18

II. Consider one of your own compulsive rituals. Identify circumstances when each of the three filters (time, habituation and intensity) have come into play. Make sure that you understand each filter to the point where you are able to identify them as a ritual is being performed. Post these personal examples in your recovery thread.

Masturbation to porn
Time: This is the most fuzzy part to understand in this lesson. I guess maybe it is about the time needed for the stimulation to happen. At first, it may have been enough to watch a bit of porn every few weeks. Overtime, controlling the timing became more important. Free time were there is a chance to be alone became more of an anticipated opportunity

Intensity: the kind of porn watched varied overtime. As time passed, porn that had more intense scenes or dangerous elements were better at stimulation

Habituation: As this became more of a habit, and the intensity became not as effective, watching porn got normalized and it was no longer producing the same stimulation. Habituation made it harder to see the progression, and easier to progress to a different level of stimulation.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Sep 13, 2019 9:09 am 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jun 18, 2019 10:26 pm
Posts: 39
Lesson 19

There is no written exercise associated with this lesson. Instead, there is only a call to deepen your awareness of how you go about deriving stimulation in your day-to-day life. For the rest of today...and for all of tomorrow...become 'hyper-aware' of the healthy and unhealthy rituals that you engage in — as you are engaging in them.
Because you will not be held externally accountable for what you are being asked to do, it will be easy to chalk this up as a 'break' from having to do anything further with this lesson. That would be a very big mistake. Your success will be defined by the skill you will develop in personal awareness. So please, do exactly as you're being asked here: become hyper-aware of all rituals you engage in over the next few days. Do not limit this awareness to sexually compulsive rituals... or even to compulsive rituals. Explore all of your actions for their 'ritualistic' nature. Brushing your teeth. Eating. Driving to work. Become conscious of your thoughts/feelings as you complete these rituals.
Feel free to share any insights in your recovery thread, but you do not have to.

* I haven't started n this exercise, but I wanted to set it up here. There is a lot of useful stuff in this particular lesson. The idea of connecting emotion to behavior. That all of our behaviors can be traced to emotions - minimizing pain or maximizing pleasure. That healthy decision making accounts for long-term higher than short term in the assessment. I am going to use mindfulness as a way to monitor my actions over the next few days. Will see how it goes.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Sep 18, 2019 3:08 pm 
Offline
Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3846
Location: UK
Hi LC

you posted into User's thread probably as a response to Theseus's posts into yours
please be reminded that posting into thread of other members should not be done except for mentors and coaches
currently Theseus is awaiting status change to mentor and is thus approved to mentor in the interim
for sure no harm done , but do keep your focus on you and your journey
see coach Sue's post at viewtopic.php?f=13&t=23183

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Sep 21, 2019 10:17 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jun 18, 2019 10:26 pm
Posts: 39
My bad.. I didn't know about the rule. thanks for letting me know


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 45 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group