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PostPosted: Sat Feb 22, 2020 12:13 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 10, 2020 3:22 am
Posts: 4
Good Morning everyone.

After several attempts of thinking through my vision I have come up with one that I am satisfied with.

As a boy, a man, a brother, a father and a husband, I envision my future life being filled with graciousness and gratefulness. Enjoying every moment of my new sober healthy life and celebrating those in my life that know my past doesn't define me. I see myself making sure I grow and develop in my faith becoming closer to God. In God I choose to live a life of purpose, intentionally. To know I have a loving God who accepts me as I am no matter what. In this I am comfortable knowing I am not perfect. I dedicate the remainder of my life to working closely with God to live the life that was intended for me. To grow confident in myself, no longer putting limitations on myself or simply "skating" through life afraid of rejection or negativity. No longer simply putting in minimal effort. To achieve I understand I need to set healthy attainable goals working hard, daily, to achieve them. My mental, emotional, and physical well being needs to remain on the forefront to remain in a positive healthy state of being. It is crucial to my success. The vision I have of my future is one where I continue to grow and learn daily choosing positive methods and remain active and relevant.

Additionally, my Wife and Children is of the utmost importance in my vision.

My Wife is my bestfriend. As any relationship should, I will respect my Wife and her capabilities. She is a strong intelligent woman with emotional, mental and physical needs. She has always been there for me. I will not ever take advantage of our connection. I am grateful to have such a person in my life. I will give my Wife the space she requires or desires knowing that she will grow as an individual having this time to herself. I acknowledge it is healthy for us as individuals to have our personal space, as it allows us to grow and develop. I support and encourage my Wife through her individual goals and aspirations while setting and achieving our goals and aspirations as a married couple. Her happiness is as important to me as my own. My communication skills will improve as I dedicate myself to be intentionally open, honest and vulnerable with her.

I will forever take it upon myself to learn how to grow, respect and nurture myself, my Wife, my marriage and my family.

To sum up my vision, I dedicate my each and every day to grow in God. Opening up myself to Him in every way. While doing so I dedicate my life to living a healthy sober life learning and developing life management skills. Having the above my focus moves to being a life partner with my Wife. Loving her, honouring her, and respecting her. I want her to have every chance to grow as an individual, my bestfriend, a mom, a sister, a female and a life long partner in marriage. I will grow to nurture and love my children and be the best Father who does so unconditionally just as God does with all who seek Him.

Thanks all. I look forward to rowing and learning with each and every one of you.

Last edited by FreedomRequired on Wed Feb 26, 2020 10:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

PostPosted: Mon Feb 24, 2020 1:17 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 10, 2020 3:22 am
Posts: 4
Good Evening All,

As I continue to grow in my recovery and find myself building on my life management skills, each day has gotten better for me. My healthy sober future is my only desire.

My values list looks like this:

(I will continue to add to this list as I work through this therapy.)

1.) Living in Faith.
2.) Find passion in God and His works in me.
3.) Living a purpose filled life.
4.) Live a life of intention.
5.) Finding acceptance in myself.
6.) Overcoming and surviving my personal struggles.
7.) Establishing a feeling of competence in my field of work.
8.) Living with integrity.
9.) Strengthening my role as a Husband.
10.) Strengthening my role as a Father.
11.) Being dedicated in everything I set my heart to.
12.) Live an honest life.
13.) Expressing spirituality in my every day life.
14.) Being known as a dependable person.
15.) Being reliable.
16.) Taking care of myself.
17.) Developing my emotional, mental and physical maturity.
18.) Pursuing advancement in my career skill set.
19.) Establishing goals to assist and guide my family and I to financial freedom.
20.) Developing a healthy sexual intimacy with my Wife.
21.) Developing a healthy sexual desire and sexual contact with my Wife.
22.) Experiencing a God given ability to be unoffendable.
23.) Learning to forgive easily.
24.) Being known as someone who is trustworthy.
25.) Feeling unconditional love and accepting it without any criticism from myself.
26.) Providing an unconditional love to my Wife and children.
27.) Honouring my Wife and marriage in front of God.
28.) Redeveloping the patience I once had.
29.) Nurturing my children's creativity and imagination.
30.) Being able to understand my own feelings and be vulnerable in expressing my feelings.
31.) Establishing my purpose in life.
32.) Finding security and peace within the circle of life.
33.) Instilling healthy values in my children.
34.) Continued success in relinquishing control over things that are beyond my control or power.
35.) Sacrificing my pride in myself and my marriage to better my relationship with my Wife.
36.) Allow myself to be completely vulnerable with my Wife.
37.) Absolute fidelity in my marriage to my Wife.
38.) Growing my communication skills.
39.) Accepting responsibility for living my life and making the best of every opportunity.
40.) Living a selfless life.
41.) Establishing realistic life goals.
42.) Developing confidence in myself and my abilities.
43.) Challenging myself so my life continues to be active and vibrant. 
44.) Being considerate of others.
45.) Challenging my fears to expand my life.
46.) Being considerate of my Wife's feelings and needs.
47.) Establishing healthy eating habits.
48.) Connecting with my Wife in extracurricular activities.
49.) Becoming physically fit.
50.) Establishing a daily meditation time to be with God.
51.) Establishing better time management skills.
52.) Respecting the need to be prompt and on time.
53.) Celebrating my accomplishes daily big or small.
54.) Being able to positively understand, process and negotiate my emotions and/or thoughts before reacting.
55.) Acknowledging that we all people are perfectly made in God's eyes and being able to respect everyone equally.
56.) Acknowledging my progress in a work in motion that takes time and I need to be patient because it is truly about progress and not immediate perfection.
57.) Gain a better connection with my oldest Son.
58.) Establish and maintain the skills to manage daily tasks and sort out their priorities.
59.) Fall more in love with my Wife daily.
60.) Enjoy the outdoors more.
61.) Travel more often.
62.) Say yes more often.

Some of the remainder may end up being duplicates but I have decided I am over thinking this and I am going to do this differently.

63.) Patient.
64.) Honourable.
65.) Supportive.
66.) Intention
67.) Prompt.
68.) Humble.
69.) Confident.
70.) Encouraging.
71.) Faithful
72.) Trustworthy.
73.) Dependable.
74.) Truthful.
75.) Gracious.
76.) Valuable.
77.) Intimate (with my Wife in a healthy manner)
78.) Respectful.
79.) Fearless.
80.) Vulnerable.
81.) Educated.
82.) Maturing/Growing. (In my life and beliefs)
83.) Passionate (about life and work and with my Wife)
84.) Strong.
85.) Dedicated.
86.) Active.
87.) Healthy.
88.) Committed
89.) Loving.

Last edited by FreedomRequired on Wed Feb 26, 2020 10:10 am, edited 5 times in total.

PostPosted: Mon Feb 24, 2020 6:18 pm 

Joined: Mon Feb 10, 2020 3:22 am
Posts: 4
Thank you Team.

Thank you Coach Kenzo for the insight. Below is just the beginning to my priority list. After reading CoachMel's post I will continue both my values list and my priority values list. These will grow and expand to include the values i hold close to my hear and aspirations I wish to achieve.

I appreciate this worksheet more than you know. I hope that this has helped many people find their path in life.

My priorities are as follows:

1.) Living a spiritual life knowing God.
2.) Finding the life God has intended for me.
3.) Confidently believing in myself.
4.) Finding peace with who God made me.
5.) Living a life of purpose, intentionally, Every day.
6.) Loving my Wife with honour.
7.) Absolute marital fidelity.
8.) Living a life of purity to gain a true passionate, loving, caring, nurturing and intimate relationship with my Wife.
9.) Establishing a healthy connection with my children.
10.) Being a role model for my children.
11.) Learn to pass no judgement on others. To be accepting and considerate of others.
12.) Respect boundaries but expand my connection and relationship with my Wife and children.
13.) Never put limits or restrictions on myself but set healthy attainable goals and aspirations.
14.) Establish healthy eating habits and exercise more.
15.) Love myself the way I am, as God created me.
16.) To share a drink with my Wife on a beach side resort during a summer day.
17.) Enjoy a debt free life while still maintaining the ability to enjoy it finding joy in things that are not materialistic.
18.) Find my true calling in my career that provides stability while allowing me to find joy and fulfillment.
19.) Dating my Wife and truly learning about her.
20.) To be connected fully with my Wife growing and getting over my past self not allowing it to sabotage my connection with her.

From the Dark Side:

1.) I will not find acceptance by searching for praise or acknowledgement from those who don't know me.
2.) I am loved. My wife is still my wife even after 13 years of suffering through my addiction that's caused her great pain. She is still here and working with me.
3.) I am worthy of love. She has shown me time and time again.
4.) (Will continue this soon)

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