Recovery Nation

Personal Development Forum
It is currently Tue Dec 18, 2018 8:52 pm

All times are UTC - 5 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2016 1:32 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 9:52 am
Posts: 98
Location: Ger
Hey,

just a super short question about that lesson. I started my boundary log and while reflecting about certain events, I realized that many existing boundaries are sufficient enough to manage the event - in theory. But the problem is more, a general lack in the ability to fully apply them. So often there's a situation where I think, If I would have fully applied that boundary things might went different. How do I proceed with situations like that? Handling a situation without proper boundaries is pretty clear, I write down the new boundaries that are needed. But when the problematic situation arose from not going through with existing boundaries, is this where I should reflect on? So in other words, is it needed to come up with new boundaries, every time I reflect on a situation, or is it "normal" to find situations, where boundaries are already there but not applied properly.

Thanks in advance!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2016 8:40 am 
Offline
Recovery Coach

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:55 pm
Posts: 1209
Yes, you need to reflect upon your boundaries, and adjust when you do not follow through with them. However, I think it's a mix of the two. You may have proper boundaries, but if you aren't implementing them, then you either need to adjust the boundary or identify why you aren't following through with that boundary as it is. I would give yourself one chance. If you follow your boundary as you should the next time, it's fine---nobody is perfect. However, if you fail your boundary, you need to adjust that boundary or yourself so your recovery can move forward. The easiest strategy is to change the boundary so you can have the time to adjust your behavior, which takes longer to accomplish.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2016 10:08 am 
Offline

Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 9:52 am
Posts: 98
Location: Ger
Thanks, great answer!
I realized that many times, when a boundary that I deem healthy fails, it because a prior boundary wasn't in place, that should've been. Sometimes it's like I'm asking to much from one single boundary and I should have had another one in place, to not let it go that far. So what I'm trying to say is, that some of my values aren't in direct danger in a specific, hence my thoughtlesness about their boundaries. But by not having intact boundaries for other values, that are more important in that situation, they're still intruded upon. I guess it's best for me to keep reflecting on what values are really present in a situation and don't jump to a rushed conclusion.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group