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PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 6:38 am 

Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 12:42 pm
Posts: 61
Lesson 1.
I am actively committed to change. My concern is that I stop giving full effort after a few weeks or months. I have been good at not allowing guilt or shame to sabotage my commitment, and I realize how the guilt does not help and only hinders me. I have spent 2 years riding a roller coaster of effort without any real success beyond moments of happiness.

Last edited by joe on Mon Jan 31, 2011 8:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

 Post subject: Lesson 2 my vision
PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 6:45 am 

Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 12:42 pm
Posts: 61
A vision for my life.

Love in the truest sense. Love for myself and for my partner and people I care about. I will take the time to be patient, compassionate and understanding to my partner, myself, and others. I will carry this love over into everyday life and the things I do. I will jump out of bed in the morning and be thankful for the chance to do so. I will enjoy my workday by putting in a strong effort that will make me feel fulfilled. I will carry that love and energy home with me to my partner and eventually my kids. I will create love in cooking delicious meals for my loved ones in that I will cook with love. I will continue learning new things in the kitchen and try to refine past favourites. Eventually I will one day teach my kids how to cook, using love as a secret ingredient.

I will be open and caring especially with my partner. I will share the good and the bad and remember that she will not always be enamoured or glad about my choices. I will have empathy for my partner and take the time to see things her way even if it takes several tries. I will be comforting and caring so that my partner and eventually my kids will always feel that they can come to me. I will be open to feedback from my partner as I know that she truly cares for me and only wants me to be happy and healthy. I will continue to plan outings and also be open to her suggestions. If I do have moments of impatience I will address them and make a point of being present with her.

I will continue to read various books. I will develop a book bucket list and keep adding to a crossing off titles as I go which will remind me how much I cherish knowledge. I will avoid vegetating in front of the television and spend my time wisely. I will chose shows that are not degrading or sensationalistic and that my partner enjoys watching with me, most likely in dvd format because we both loathe commercials.

I will use my voice, or horn if I am driving. There is nothing wrong with excuse me, or even I want to do ________ tonight. Nobody can read my mind and if I do not use my voice nobody will know what I want or need.

I will travel to near and far places even if it means exploring new neighbourhoods to get myself out and about. I will take pictures especially of my photogenic partner in various places so that we have a wealth of memories to share and look back on when we are older. I will visit some part of Europe before I die even if I have to take out a loan.

I will continue to work hard, but also smart. I will develop a network and learn something useful at least once a week. I will be prepared and patient so that I can shine when given the chance. At work and home I will take pride in my appearance without being fussy. I will dress professionally and act accordingly.

I will live a healthy life that includes fitness and eating well. I will eat fruits and vegetables everyday and give myself the best possible chance at a healthy life via a good diet. I will floss regularly and take care of my teeth. I will look after my skin as it is more delicate that the average persons and requires even more attention.

I will continue working on my self-love because I am worth it. I will remember in my interactions with others how often I feel guilty, or lack empathy and compassion and that as human beings they deserve to be treated well. I will break past patterns and build up a default personality that includes kindness and understanding. I will continue being present when I speak to anyone and be positive and insightful so that they can come away feeling better for having spoken to me.

I will develop my spirituality. I will be bringing my children to church to teach them many of the values represented in the teachings of faith. I will continue to forgive others from my past and present so that I to can be forgiven. I will take time to regularly reflect on life’s questions and put my past into a perspective that takes away any power it holds over me today. I will remember that my time here is finite and to make the most of it. I will be open and honest when I go to confession and complete whatever reconciliations I am given.

I will continue to work on my physical intimacy. I will be a lover not a sex toy and be a person who is there and who enjoys the moment for what it is the joining of two people. I will be tender and express times where I feel in need of tenderness.

Alone time will be healthy time going forward. It will not be about secrets and addiction but about taking time to just be me, on my own. I will continue to develop the new me as someone of integrity, caring, understanding, patience, and love. I will have healthy pastimes that will also be rewards for accomplishing weekly/daily tasks. I will watch good films and tv shows & play video games when I need to decompress.

Last edited by joe on Sat Jan 22, 2011 6:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 6:49 am 

Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 12:42 pm
Posts: 61
1) Integrity
2) Self Love/Love
3) Learning (research of obscure and work based knowledge)
4) Honesty (to myself and others)
5) Dependable
6) Happy (happy with myself, my life, and everything in it)
7) Openness (with myself and my partner)
8) Awareness (of myself and the time to think of those around me)
9) Physically healthy (eating well and exercising, as well as maintaining an active lifestyle)
10) Mentally healthy (managing my stress and anxiety so it does not harm me)
11) Emotional Maturity
12) Forgiveness (myself and others)
13) Compassion (myself and others)
14) Reading (reading books/novels that spark my interest as opposed to sitting in front of the television)
15) Spirituality
16) Sexuality (exploration of a healthy sexuality)
17) Sportsmind (love of football)

18) Enjoy life (Enjoying and appreciating even the simplest events and tasks in my everyday life)
19) Good partner
20) Respect (for myself and others)
21) Accomplishment (List maker) Making lists for both short and long term projects)

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