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PostPosted: Wed Apr 09, 2014 6:17 pm 
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Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 12:28 pm
Posts: 6
EXERCISE 1
<<Consider where you feel you are in relation to each of these recovery keys>>.
1)actively committing yourself to change
I have tried and failed. Completed a 100 days without porn about 3 times. Achieve at least 30days without porn each year since 2004,. I’ve been trying to commit totally to recovery, with real sincerity. Think I am improving on my commitment now because this is the first time attempting the assignments.
2) not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change
I feel guilt and shame, notwithstanding, I want to concentrate on a future I will be very pleased with.
3) allowing yourself time to change.
I hope to learn from my past mistakes and also pick up new things that will make my recovery quicker. I have learnt not to fix deadlines because in the past I missed all set deadlines for sobriety.

<<why I seek to permanently change your life>>
1. I want to achieve full sobriety from porn and masturbation.
2. I want to be a real person; congruent and truthful in all the ramification of the word 'truthful' - one person to all, without the need to show phoney personalities out of awe/fear of anyone.
3. To be more assertive, dogged and innovative rather than being cowered/ playing helpless , bemoaning my bad luck and medicating with porn.
4. I want to live a life that isn’t dominated by shame nor guilt of porn. Ironically people make peace or seek it from others. I want to be at peace with myself.
5. To stamp out escapism from my life, position myself to confront challenges rather than 'always' withdrawing.
6. I want to be less secretive - Be more open and less cynical.
7. To transition into a real relationship; know how to love and be loved. To love a 'real woman' and enjoy her reciprocal love and companionship.
8. To learn how best to control my emotions particularly the feelings of boredom and loneliness without the evil drug of porn.
9. To develop the capacity for calmness and concentration, particularly under pressure; to discover the forms of relaxation that are consistent with my being.
10. I want to limit my fear of the unknown and my general indecisiveness - to push the frontiers of success, break out of my comfort zone in order to contribute positively to self, family and society. To achieve successes which till now I have convinced myself are impossible for someone like me.

<<Retrospective view on my life>>
Started up innocent till my late teens. Guess I was different from most kids. No real teenage delinquencies; tried always to respect the authorities, never rebellious, always wanted to be the good kid. This meant I missed out on friendships and was rather ostracized. Loneliness and boredom ended me in this condition.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 5:27 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3355
Location: UK
Hello new man??????????????????????????

the Jury is out but really rooting for you


Quote:
I have tried and failed. Completed a 100 days without porn about 3 times. Achieve at least 30days without porn each year since 2004,. I’ve been trying to commit totally to recovery, with real sincerity. Think I am improving on my commitment now because this is the first time attempting the assignments.


you have been in abstinence not recovery so lets get serious now and really start


if you really do want to improve your life and to recover from your addiction then you are at a good place to make that wish reality
Commit , fully and completely
work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand
coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path

the path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone
we usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting and reading
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination

your reasons for change are generally solid as they are positive and about you

Quote:
Loneliness and boredom ended me in this condition


but remember and then address who allowed this to be so
take that responsibility and the journey really begins
remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 12:32 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 12:28 pm
Posts: 6
Thanks coach Kenzo. I agree its time to work and the HARD WORK has to be done by me. I'd endeavor to complete more lessons weekly and post regular updates.
At times things just quickly feel out of control. I guess these issues would be addressed in the subsequent lessons.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 21, 2017 4:29 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 12:28 pm
Posts: 6
Lesson 2 Exercise - Personal Vision

To get away from peripheral knowledge & develop depth in my endeavors - profession, religion and personal interests. No more mediocrity.

To be a confident and organized person who is time conscious. Not lying around being lazy and procrastinating everything.To generally put an end to my last minute syndrome, stick to schedules and be punctual for appointments.

To enhance my spirituality by being dutiful with my religious rituals.

To be a truthful & real person - build real relationships not transitory ones. I'm an escapist right now and scared of anyone knowing my flaws, hence most of my relationships are superficial & fake.To live my life free from the need to escape.

To build strength, self-discipline and a good level of self confidence. I'm not aspiring to be Superman but I want to stop quitting at the slightest challenge; be a man capable of standing up for myself and my family.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 21, 2017 7:28 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3355
Location: UK
Well it has been a while since you posted
Quote:
I agree its time to work and the HARD WORK has to be done by me. I'd endeavor to complete more lessons weekly and post regular updates.


what have you got to lose?
lets get this done once and for all

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 21, 2017 8:09 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2014 12:28 pm
Posts: 6
Thanks. Coach Kenzo


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