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PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2015 7:26 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 2:50 pm
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This is my second time beginning the program. My time spent doing this program the first time gave me progress, and I learned some lessons about myself. One practical thing I learned is that I did not get through the first phase quickly enough. Completing the first 14 lessons is 14 days is my goal, to promote positive habits and to make sure I am keeping up the practical end of the lessons. I will make time for RN either in the morning or the evening. There is no way around it, either I do this program to promote positive change in my life, or I continue my addiction promote negative change in my life. I have no more excuses, lies, or bullshit to tell myself. I will work the program and leave my addiction and compulsive behaviours behind me.

A. Three keys to establishing a successful foundation for permanent change in early recovery are:
1) actively committing yourself to change
2) not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change
3) allowing yourself time to change.

1) I will not longer allow my own complacency to detract from me becoming the person, I want to become. This might be my second attempt, but I learned very important lessons the first time that I can use to promote success this time. I am committing to doing a lesson a day for the first 14 days, to build momentum and positive habits.

2) Guilt and shame about my compulsive behaviours are useless to me. I will not let them dictate my actions any longer. I will take full responsibility for my actions and realize that anything I do is my decision. I am not powerless to my addiction. I will own up to the choices I have made in the past, and realize that I am responsible for my own recovery.

3) I am committing to a state of active recovery over the next 3 months. My focus is on my recover, career, and physical health.

B. Beyond an active commitment to change, another important factor in determining your ultimate success is your motivation. Look deep inside and list ten to fifteen reasons why you seek to permanently change your life. Don't stop at three or four obvious ones, really examine your life and what is important to you. Phrase these in the positve. For example: " I don't want to keep deceiving my wife" would serve you better if written like "I want to be honest and transparent with my wife". Positive statements have much more power in our mindset than negative ones. List these in your recovery thread.

1) I want to reach my full potential as a human being.
2)I want to experience life more fully and with the clarity of mind that comes free from addiction.
3)I want to be successful in all areas of my life.
4) I want to fall in love.
5)I want to be a good parent one day.
6) I want to feel more masculine.
7)I don't want to live in fear of my addiction.
8) I want to dictate the way I change as a person in a positive manner.
9)I want to have a healthy sense of sexuality.
10)I want to impact the world around me in a positive manner.

C. One of the most powerful insights you can gain in establishing a foundation for permanent recovery is to come to see your addiction within the scope of your life span. In other words, to not just see your addiction as it is now, but to look across the span of your life to see the role that addiction has played in your development. Much of this will be explored throughout the workshop, but to put yourself in the right frame of mind to develop such a perception, do the following:

Find a picture of yourself when you were a small child. An innocent child. For those with early childhood sexual abuse issues, do not mistake this abuse for a lack of innocence. You were absolutely innocent. It will be hard to derive the full value from this exercise without an actual picture so if it is just a matter of needing to find one...wait. Wait until you have the picture in your hand. If such a picture does not exist, try envisioning a moment in your life when you were 3, 4...perhaps 5 years old — but only do this as a last resort. The power of this exercise rests in your ability to look into the eyes of your own innocence — something that is very hard to do through memory alone.

Now, with the picture in hand, look into that child's eyes. Feel their innocence. Acknowledge that this child is you at a point in your life. Feel how vulnerable you were. How trusting. Recognize the lack of addiction in your life...and the desire for little more than love, compassion, teaching and support. Think of the trauma you faced throughout your life. Think of the times when you felt alone. Confused. If you feel like it, cry for this child. Allow yourself to feel love for this child. Do whatever you must to emotionally connect with this child because it is for this child that you are now reclaiming your life. It is this child who lost their way and you are the one now showing the courage to guide this child, who is you, back to health.

If you would like, share your experience with this last exercise in your thread


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