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PostPosted: Sat May 19, 2018 10:12 am 

Joined: Thu Aug 25, 2016 11:01 am
Posts: 7
Since I have been abstaining and failing to maintain for long time now (I can't even remember when last time I thought about this). This idea of me quitting Pornography is always in my mind and I'm always thinking that it is just a matter of time till this change will happen. However, time goes on and on, and my the only fact that is well known for me now, is the devastating effect this addiction has brought to my life. This mentality of procrastinating and waiting for some magical external influence to force me to quit won't lead me somewhere.

All of those ideas hit me when I started reading Russel Brand's book. It somehow touched my inner me, brought back this inner voice, that I must stand up to myself, aspire and push forward to be the version of myself that I inspire to be. Thus, I'm dedicating this thread /post to answer the questions in each chapter of the mentioned book, as well as reflect upon my journey. I have to do this for myself, I have to stay strong and keep my eyes on the goal. Now is the time or never.

1.Are you a bit fucked?
I guess externally, I seem to be a successful person, or at least this how people would imagine me. I did well in my studies and continued with my graduate studies and now working in a good Company. I do lots of sports and always proactive when it comes to group activities. However, deep inside, there is this deep dark place, in which I have taken refuge for as long as 10 years. It is the dark side of me that gave up to Pornography and its addiction. Somehow, it fitted in my life so easily (or at least I thought it did). I would be having a day full of stuff and still manage time to watch Porn. Other days, I would skip everything and just procrastinate and watch Porn and masturbate. This has lead me into a path of loneliness. lack of self confidence and fear. Deep inside I know I have a huge problem and I came to realize that I am an addict. Porn is the clear agent that I can identify, but I started to think of the latest negative thoughts I had, my compulsive behavior that is quite clear in my life. Is this all coming from my addiction? and if yes, how is the way out?

What do I want to change? well, I want to take control back of my life. I want to know deep inside, that I am as strong in the inside as on the outside. I want to leave no chance for this crippling disease to ruin my life. All in all, I'm quite fucked up and my addiction is affecting heavily my life and happiness.

PostPosted: Mon May 21, 2018 2:31 am 
Recovery Mentor

Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 5:29 am
Posts: 411
Hi Phantom90,

Welcome to RN
You have come to the right place if you do truly wish to recover
Commit, fully and completely
Work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand
Coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path

The path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone
We usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting and reading
Get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

Remember to work at your own pace and it's not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination

I look forward to seeing your progress on your thread


A clean life; a clear conscience

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2018 4:45 am 
Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3880
Location: UK
Hello Phantom

you wrote
and inevitable recovery

recovery is and never will be inevitable
recovery requires work and commitment
sorry, and I apologise if I am wrong but I dont see it

please dont give in to the s*** that lives your life for you

step up and get the result that you dream of, what do you have to lose?

what will you gain ?

:pe: :pe: :pe: :pe: :pe: :pe: :pe:

Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo

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