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PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2017 3:06 pm 
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Time to start. Here we go..


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2017 3:10 pm 
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Laying The Foundation For Permanent Change - Lesson 1


1. This is a day to day thing. Each day I have committed to doing this. So I have actively committed myself, I know this is going to be a organic process. ALL IN.
2. I am not sure how to answer.
3. I have given myself time to change but there is also a sense of urgency to change. The image of myself is false and I am much more capable to do great things. I have to start a better life to get out though. Overall though, i am allowing myself time for change.


Reasons why I want to permanently change my life

To be able to be fulfilled in things that I am doing day to day.
To not feel jealous of other people and feel inferiority.
To be able to just talk to people confidently and proud, holding my head up high.
To be able to work harder and better and live a much more better life than I am living.
To be more natural around other people and not feel this sense of fakeness. I want to be genuine and real.
So I can be at peace with myself and feel better with myself instead of this destructive habit.
Things like school and studying. I know my focus is greater. I want that, i hate this feeling of inadequacy.
I just want to be me. Not think about what i COULD have been etc. No regrets
No brain fog, CLEAR and CHARGED. Having purpose.
To make my parents proud of me and to not have anything to hide from them.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2017 3:22 pm 
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Lesson 2 - Establishing a Healthy VISION for MY life

Devoting my life to myself. To understanding myself. What scares me and what motivates me and excites me. Understanding all my flaws and coming to accepting them and then healing and improving them if possible. Building myself everyday actively into someone who is cool, calm, and collected. Building awareness in everything that I do. Building everyday the relationship of authenticity to everyone I meet. Around my family, around my friends, and especially around people I don’t know very well. Someone who suffers and enjoys it, knowing that the suffering is what makes him stronger and fulfills him. Running to my fears and insecurities instead of running away from them. Facing them head on and smiling. Doing things that at first glance would scare people and make them shudder. Living a life that is full. No regrets, going the extra mile just to see what’s there and learning. Giving myself the space to learn and make mistakes and look stupid enough for people to laugh at, and just being okay with it.

Having a body that is great and tight and feeling proud of it. Feeling energy vibrate from my skin. Standing up straight and walking with grace and power. Feeling good in my own skin.

Feeling proud of the work I’m doing and how much I am constantly working towards myself to push toward my comfort zone, and to grow even more to lengths I wouldn’t believe possible. Talking to that cute girl, intimidating guy, randomly saying hello to random people for no reason whatsoever. It doesn’t matter! Always having an understand that life is short and keeping spontaneity alert. Saying fuck it, let’s do it to things that scare you (within reason lol).

Overall, looking at MY life and knowing to your core I did all I could. Coming to grips of making mistakes and doing your best to fix them and to understand why. Committing to lifelong mastery of organizing MY life and building awareness into everything I do. Looking at myself naked every single day and facing your fears HEAD ON.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2017 4:02 pm 
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Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
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Location: UK
Hello TWFB and welcome to RN

if you really do want to improve your life and to recover from your addiction then you are at a good place to make that wish reality
Commit , fully and completely

Quote:
This is a day to day thing

IMO it is more of a lifetime commitment, just like growing up
work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand
coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path

the path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone
we usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting and reading
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination

your reasons for change are generally solid as they are positive and about you

Quote:
To make my parents proud of me and to not have anything to hide from them.

perhaps adding To make me proud of me and to not have anything to hide from myself

remember that addiction is hiding from reality hiding from life
your vision is a good start but only a start, it should be a work in progress .
remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 3:34 pm 
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First of all, thanks a lot for replying. I truly appreciate it and I am committed on making a change in my life, a lifetime commitment indeed. I also know though, that my actions will speak louder than my words.


Also, appreciate the feedback. Thank you and will keep in mind!


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 3:39 pm 
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Lesson 3 - The Role of Values


“What an engine is to your car, values are to your life. Can a person still drive a car without an engine? Yes, but not efficiently.”

“What options are available in a life not stimulated by one's values? Well, addiction for one”

Your values are those principles in your life that you use to derive meaning and fulfillment. They form the foundation of your identity. If those values are consistent, your identity will reflect consistency. If your values are in conflict with one another, your identity will reflect conflict. For many though, values are perceived as idealistic concepts without any real practical value in helping them to manage their day-to-day life. This mindset needs to change. By the end of this workshop, you will be constructing a foundation of practical values from which you will manage the most important aspects of your life. Without this foundation in place, more complex life skills such as prioritization, decision-making, urge control, goal management, emotional management and others simply cannot be mastered. And addiction cannot be overcome.

In a healthy person, values provide the motivation that drives their behavior. They are the impetus for decision-making and provide a stable foundation for feelings and emotions. Without a foundation of values, our lives would lack even the most basic sense of significance or meaning. People would be reduced to nothing more than animals guided by whatever made them feel good in a given moment, regardless of the consequences. Which is why, as the progressive nature of addiction begins to take root, the values of the emerging addict diminish. And as that behavior continues to progress, the connection with their values can be lost altogether. Is it any wonder then, that people who have struggled with addictions over long periods end up living lives that produces little (if any) meaning?


VALUES

Being an inspiration to others
Being dedicated
Being tenacious in my pursuit of ClickWave/Job
Developing intellectual depth
Expressing spirituality in my day-to-day life
Enhancing my spiritual awareness
Being respected as a professional by others
Staying active
Being dependable and reliable
Honesty
Sense of responsibility
Being considerate of myself
Being a role model for my family
Living an exciting life
Living an adventurous life
Being challenged; overcoming challenges
Developing emotional maturity
Risk-taking (danger)
Striving for excellence
Physical health
Physical beauty
Experiencing euphoria in life
Feeling masculine
Feeling empowered
Passionate about life
Being recognized as an expert in my field
City-wide recognition
Developing sustained friendships
Being respected
Being judged trustworthy
Developing patience
Sharing my true self with the world around me
Being known as reliable
Wisdom
Connected to my own feelings
Being identified by others as charming and warm
Integrity
Connecting to purpose, meaning of life
Organization
Personal independence
Power
Control
Experiencing uniqueness
Curiosity
Improving my social interactions
Being a leader
Intellectual growth, debate, communication
Feeling happy and content
Pressure to accomplish
Sense of accomplishment
Feeling challenged
Personal growth, development
Open-minded to the beliefs and values of others, tolerance
Self-discipline
Waking up with energy, focus and drive
Independent from social media
Body movement and energizing
Suffering and enjoying its process of growth
Time management and productivity
Massive amounts of action each day
Authenticity and acceptance
Spontaneousness
No fear of my views
Relaxed and grounded in all interactions
Understanding in other people’s views
Leaving the house/Adventure


Dark Side of Decision Making - Values in Compulsive Behaviour

Having no purpose
Obsessing over the news
Going straight to the laptop
Constantly checking social media
Staying inside the house/home
Being alone or by myself
Stressed out
Sadness
Lonely
Angry at people/myself
Not being grounded
Procrastination


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 10, 2017 1:35 pm 
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Lesson 4 - Prioritizing your Values

Making decisions based on emotion is not an effective response to a compulsive crisis. By the time that you find yourself in the situation requiring a decision to be made, the intensity of your emotions has often skewed rational thought and judgment to the point where you are perceiving things irrationally. Perceiving things solely in the here-and-now. And your decisions often reflect that need for immediate gratification. And so, while you may be able to generate enough emotional intensity (guilt/shame/fear) to stop yourself from acting on any particular urge...emotion-based decisions will forever leave you vulnerable. Why? Because emotions are unstable. Even wonderful emotions. Even an absence of emotions (e.g. boredom). And because emotions have the capacity to skew your perceptions, they have the capacity to numb reason.

So one of your goals in recovery is to throw away the ignorance card. This is to recognize that to be a healthy adult, you can no longer make decisions based on your emotions. Instead, emotion-based decision-making must give way to values-based decision-making. And while the nuts and bolts of this process will be offered later in the workshop, it is important for you to begin laying the foundation for such a process. That is done through establishing an awareness of not simply your values, but how those values are prioritized in your life. For now, you will take a snapshot of your prioritized values so that you may begin strengthening those towards the top of the list. But next month, you will be using this list in much more practical ways. Ways that involve some of the more complex experiences that human beings must manage: those of value conflicts. Times when there are two or more constructive options to a given situation; or when there are no constructive options, but several destructive options from which your choice must be made. Currently, you have learned to manage these conflicts based on what 'feels right' at that given moment. But again, your feelings are not capable of objectivity. Your values — and especially your prioritized values — are.

Finalized List

Connecting to purpose, meaning of life
Being tenacious in my pursuit of Job
Physical health
Developing intellectual depth
The act of accomplishing massive amounts of action each day/great productivity
Personal independence
Feeling masculine
Time management and productivity
Relaxed and grounded in all interactions
Independent from social media/distraction
Body movement and energizing
Waking up with energy, focus and drive
Personal growth, development
Authenticity and acceptance
Developing sustained friendships
Improving my social interactions
Personal growth, development
Experiencing euphoria in life
Being dedicated


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 16, 2017 2:38 pm 
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Lesson 5 - Identifying Incongruent Values

Does your current prioritized values list reflect the choices that you would make? If so, then you have done a good job of creating a practical values list. If not, then you may still be leaning more towards 'idealistic values' than practical ones. You want...no, you NEED this list to function on a practical level. Continue refining it until it does.

Take the top fifteen values that you have currently listed and post them in your Recovery Thread. To be successful in recovery, you will need to learn to derive about 75% of your life's meaning and fulfillment from these values across any given week or so. It is okay if you are not currently doing this, because that is what the following two lessons are for: to help you develop this ability over the coming months.


FINAL LIST

Connecting to purpose, meaning of life
Being tenacious in my pursuit of Job
Physical health and beauty
Developing intellectual depth and personal growth/development
The Act of accomplishing massive amounts of action each day
Time alone being creative
Responsibility over house, family, power dynamic
Feeling masculine
Time management and productivity
Relaxed and grounded in all interactions
Independent from social media/distraction
Body movement and energizing
Waking up with energy, focus and drive
Authenticity and acceptance
Developing sustained friendships
Improving my social interactions


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 16, 2017 3:26 pm 
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Lesson 6 - Building Proactive Action Plans 1


Developing sustained friendships

Quick calls to 3-5 people every other day (ex.Best friends and family)
On fridays AND saturdays, ALWAYS making sure to hang out with someone or hit them up to take a walk at NIGHT, having a PLAN etc
Making an effort for friends and offering to buy them something when eating out here and there as a friendly gesture, nothing big
Talk to mom and dad at home and socializing with them instead of going downstairs and doing jack shit


Body movement and energizing

Bioenergetics every morning, doing stretching and breathing
Meditation for 10 minutes
Breath of fire for 2-3 minutes
Shaking exercise every morning
Making sure body is ALWAYS open and GROUNDED


Responsibility over house, family, power dynamic

Making sure to clean the kitchen every single morning as a habit
Sweeping and washing dishes, keep the vicinity clean
Making sure the front of the house is also very clean
Talking to mom and dad on a consistent basis, what’s going on etc
Making sure voice is heard in the house and being vocal and respective about things


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:04 pm 
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Posts: 16
Lesson 7 - Building Proactive Action Plans II



Connecting to purpose, meaning of life
Waking up and reading my life vision
Affirmations on my life and what I want to do and accomplish
Visualization of the day ahead of me and also of the life I want to live


Physical health and beauty
Going to the gym every other day and going hard at it
Going on quick runs in the morning and at night every other day
Eating clean and healthy every single day
No pop, less sugar
Eating vegetables and salads
No fast food, maybe once a month
Taking supplements and vitamins such as B3 and Zinc
Doing stretches all throughout the day
Cleaning nails and toenails and making sure hair is kept clean


Time alone being creative
Reading a good book
Colouring in a coloring book, expressing
Taking a long walk and thinking about what’s next in life, contemplation
Writing in your journal about day and what you want to accomplish etc


Independent from social media/distraction
Deleting every single social media off phone to keep you focused on task at hand
No laptop in area of sleep.
No use phone before bed
Block reddit from phone and laptop
Only using laptop for work related issues etc
Unless you must, ALWAYS leave home and go somewhere and find something to do


Developing intellectual depth and personal growth/development
Reading every single day for 30-60 minutes on a good book, highlighting the book
Journaling on what I read that day and what I learned
Meditation every day
Bioenergetics everyday
Watching videos on charisma, business, podcasts


Developing sustained friendships
Quick calls to 3-5 people every other day
On fridays AND saturdays, ALWAYS making sure to hang out with someone or hit them up to take a walk at NIGHT, having a PLAN etc
Making an effort for friends and offering to buy them something when eating out here and there as a friendly gesture, nothing big
Talk to mom and dad at home and socializing with them instead of going downstairs and doing jack shit
Letting friends know on a very general basis what’s happening in your life

Body movement and energizing
Bioenergetics every morning, doing stretching and breathing
Meditation for 10-15 minutes
Breath of fire for 2-3 minutes
Body vibrating exercise every morning
Emphasis on making sure body is OPEN and GROUNDED


Responsibility over house, family, power dynamic
Making sure to clean the kitchen every single morning as a habit
Sweeping and washing dishes, keep the vicinity clean
Making sure the front of the house is also very clean
Talking to mom and dad on a consistent basis, what’s going on etc


Improving my social interactions
Displaying confidence in every conversation I hold
Making sure i go at and talk to anyone, no fear and no holding back
Showing authenticity and power in conversations, don’t be a bitch
Holding myself in high regard in conversations, not a victim to bullying
Standing up for myself if I am ever attacked
Displaying spontaneity while walking to places and seeing people


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 25, 2017 1:18 pm 
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Lesson 12 - Recognizing Unhealthy Recovery Patterns

I. Identify those patterns that you currently recognize in yourself in relation to an unhealthy recovery. Post these observations into your Recovery Thread and/or Recovery Manager.

They actively prepare their environment for successful acting out by: setting a preliminary foundation for excuses/alibis; seeking out times/situations where they will be unaccountable to anyone but themselves; laying the foundation for the emotional manipulation of others who may pose a confrontational threat (e.g. their spouse), etc.
They believe that they are uniquely defective and/or damaged as human beings
They believe that they have suffered so many consequences from their compulsive behavior, that it will be impossible for them to reach their lifetime goals
They suspect that they will never be able to overcome their urges, and so their goals are to establish the appearance of change, rather than to pursue actual change.
Relapse triggers are seen as opportunities to act out.
They often attempt to "prove" their sincerity to others through voicing dreams, sharing words and making promises, rather than through their actions.
They find comfort in knowing that they can play the "relapse card" should they ever be caught acting out
They often experience selfish thoughts when caught acting out (e.g. "Why didn't I see this coming?" "Why didn't I cover that up better?" "Why do I cause myself so much pain?")


They believe that they are defective in the sense that their emotions, urges, impulses, etc. are experienced with much more intensity than "normal people". And this puts them at a disadvantage for living a "normal life".
Relapse triggers are feared, and so their lives continue to be altered as a result of addiction.
They tend to focus on controlling past behavior, rather than learning new behavior.
They tend to see life in episodes — with beginnings and endings — rather than as a process.
They consistently measure the success of their recovery through abstinence, rather than emotional stability and personal satisfaction.
They often experience extreme emotions in relation to acting out — extreme guilt, extreme shame, depression, anger, hatred. Or, they experience very mild emotions — when it has become a pattern that they have resolved to accept as a part of their lives.
They tend to hyper analyze their actions, thoughts and feelings...and make the possibility of living a "normal" life all but impossible.
They continue to identify themselves with their addiction and cannot imagine a life without such an association.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 29, 2017 6:18 pm 
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Been gone for a while. Had to take care of some things in my life. BUT... i am BACK!! I am committed everyday to actively writing.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 31, 2017 2:20 pm 
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Lesson 13 : Healthy Recovery Patterns

In the previous lesson, you explored common unhealthy patterns in recovery. Today you will be looking at healthy patterns that you should consider adopting.

I. Identify those patterns that you currently recognize in yourself in relation to a healthy recovery.


Early Recovery: "Understanding/Recognizing the Behavior"

In early recovery, individuals often experience significant doubts relating to their ability to change.
In early recovery, they often "test the waters" of recovery by attempting recovery for a few days, then acting out. Attempting recovery for a few weeks, then acting out. Attempting recovery for a few months, then acting out. A weaning behavior similar to a toddler giving up a security blanket.
In early recovery, they tend to experience relief in having their behaviors understood, and immediately seek understanding in all areas of their life. Unfortunately, this tends to overwhelm them, distract them, etc., but it is fairly common...and a good sign that their desire to change is sincere.


Middle Recovery : "Actual Recovery" (I have an understanding and am leaning towards these values, I am on the right path and aware of many of these)

They have accepted that they have struggled with certain immoral behaviors that contradicted their values, but realize that what matters is what they are doing, not what they did. They realize that no successful recovery ever took place by changing the past, only by changing the present.
Their motivation to recover comes from the desire to live a life that they can be proud of, rather than a desire to create the illusion of a life that they can be proud of.
They make decisions based on what they believe is the right thing to do, rather than on what they think they can get away with. They know that whether these decisions end up being the right ones or not is irrelevant. That all that matters is that they were made with the right intentions in mind.
They are not focused on controlling/ending their past behavioral patterns, but on developing new patterns that will take the place of those related to the addiction.
Relapse triggers are experienced not as a threat, but an opportunity.
They identify their future with a healthy person that once used addiction to manage their life; not as an addict that is managing their life with healthy behavior.
They will take a long, hard look at anything associated with their destructive past, and will voluntarily make the decision to remove these objects from their life. This refers to pornography, internet accounts, etc. It does not necessarily refer to affairs where real feelings were experienced/exchanged.
They tend to have an emotional relapse in terms of the consequences that they have effected on others — especially those closest to them. This frequently triggers true remorse, temporary depression, temporary helplessness — but is soon resolved with a commitment to making it up to people in other, more healthy ways.



Late Recovery : "From Recovery to Health" (I hope to reach this stage soon and patterns soon)

They have complete confidence in their ability to manage their life and are moving forward with their dreams in a rational, planned manner.
They no longer avoid "trigger situations" as they have developed the skills necessary to make confident, healthy choices in just about any situation they may face.
They tend to see their past as something rather unbelievable. They are sometimes able to achieve distant emotional connections with those behaviors, but can no longer visualize a situation where the pleasure they once achieved would be worth the risk of all they would lose inside themselves. Except at this stage, those thoughts are actually felt, rather than intellectualized. They will not be able to comprehend a situation where such a risk would ever be taken.
They have developed the ability to produce the same emotional stimulation from value-based actions as they once derived solely from impulse-based actions.
They will have eliminated all previous connections to their recovery, except that which will be included in their ongoing plan for a continuing evaluation and assessment of their life. They will no longer associate themselves with addiction, but with health.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 09, 2017 12:18 am 
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Lesson 14 - Health Monitoring

RN-14 - Health Monitoring

Health monitoring as a practical tool performs several tasks in helping you to manage a healthy life.

First, it provides you with a means of establishing focus and awareness. This role is most often associated with Daily Monitoring — which is what you will be developing over the next few weeks.

Another important task of health monitoring is to stave off complacency — one of the biggest threats to making a permanent transition. Your Weekly Monitoring will be used to accomplish this.


For the next FOUR weeks, you will be setting aside FIVE minutes each day (and ONLY five minutes) to assess yourself across the areas of your life that you are actively working on. Note the word 'actively' in that statement. It will do you little good to create a daily monitoring program that is so comprehensive that you are basically including any and everything associated with your life. You need to choose ten to fifteen areas of your life that you want to begin actively strengthening. The goal of this strengthening is to derive more overall value from your life than you would have otherwise. This can be accomplished by increasing the depth of one of your values (say, strengthening your communication with your spouse); or, by reducing the strain from behaviours that conflict with your higher values (say, demeaning your child out of anger).

You can not and should not try to fix all of your issues right from the start. To do so is to set yourself up for failure. Instead, you must look at your life...look at your values...and use the top ten to fifteen values as a guide to what areas you should initially monitor

When it is all said and done, you should have a list of issues that you examine on a daily basis. But, this should be a TEMPORARY list...one that allows you to focus on certain aspects of your life above others. As your investment in these areas begins to pay dividends, daily focus should no longer be necessary.

Note several things you will want to include in your own monitoring.

One, that each item is specific and 'somewhat' measurable. This isn't an exact science, and so...you are looking for YOUR ability to measure progress, complacency and/or regression on a daily basis. Everything you do here will be about practical application and that requires your ability to objectively observe and quantify your actions.

The difference between "I will deepen the role that spirituality plays in my life" is a world apart from "I will take five minutes each day to strengthen my spiritual connection." in terms of practical application. The latter is practical; the former is simply an ideal.

Two, note that there is nothing unrealistic or unachievable here. To be successful, you must first set yourself up for success. That means developing a monitoring list that you are capable of achieving with regularity — should you choose to do so. Establishing a list that would require you to live the perfect life is not realistic and it will not be effective over the long run.



Health Monitoring

Did you go to the gym today?
Did I actively eat well today and have healthy meals?
Did I engage in any running this morning or afternoon?
Did I stay productive throughout the day and follow my schedule?
Did I say my affirmations for a minimum of 5 minutes twice a day?
Did I read for at least 20-30 minutes a day?
Did I engage in a social activity at night if I’m not working ?
Did I clean the kitchen and sweep and keep the family room tidy?
Did I do my hard tasks today?
Did I meditate today for daily focus?
Did I stretch and do 10 minutes of bioenergetics?
Did I drive during the day or night? IF not , did I learn or watch videos about the topic?
Did you actively record videos for the daily Youtube Vlog?


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 12:44 am 
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August 9th 2017


Did you go to the gym today? - No I didn't, genuinely didn't have any time. I will be going tomorrow!
Did I actively eat well today and have healthy meals? - Tbh I did not. I need to better prepare for work.
Did I engage in any running this morning or afternoon? - Ran for about 10-15 minutes in the morning!!!
Did I stay productive throughout the day and follow my schedule? - I was productive and followed the schedule!
Did I say my affirmations for a minimum of 5 minutes twice a day? - Indeed!!
Did I read for at least 20-30 minutes a day? - I didn't read for 20 minutes but I did for a couple minutes. It was a busy day!
Did I engage in a social activity at night if I’m not working ? - I worked at night.
Did I clean the kitchen and sweep and keep the family room tidy? - I did not.
Did I meditate today for daily focus? - I did not.
Did I stretch and do 10 minutes of bioenergetics? - Yes!
Did I drive during the day or night? IF not , did I learn or watch videos about the topic? - Yes , twice!!
Did you actively record videos for the daily Youtube Vlog? - yes i did. BUT , i need to do this better and more frequently.


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