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PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 7:18 am 
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LESSON 50

A. When facing a compulsive urge, what do you anticipate the consequences of using a healthy, values-based decision to manage that urge to be? (think positive and negative consequences) 
Positive
You will reinforce your values and have felt pride in having successfully managed an urge. It will help ingrain a new healthy way of reacting to urges as opposed to the current emotions based way of thinking.
Negative
There will be a possible feeling of frustration or loss at not feeding the urge which will be uncomfortable in the short term until the healthy values based way of thinking is fully absorbed by the brain. Shortly after the urge passes though it will be replaced by satisfaction at having resisted acting out.

B. Now consider having made the decision to continue on with the compulsive ritual, what consequences do you anticipate? (again, think positive and negative) 
Positive
The emotions will continue to be fed which may feel like it is a good thing whilst the consequences of acting out are ignored until the acting out is complete and the shame and guilt kick in afterwards

Negative
The urge can not be fed otherwise the conversion to the new values based way of thinking will be hampered. There will be considerable damage caused and the outcomes will be deeply regretted afterwards. It will demonstrate that the learning to date will not have been absorbed properly


C. For each decision (values-based; emotion-based), what long-term effects will these consequences have on your developing identity and values?
The more aligned you are with your values and are making decisions on them the quicker you will be free of this disease. It takes time and a lot of hard work but if we consistently try to follow what is being taught it will sink in more and more and over time will become automatic and need monitoring rather than the degree of effort currently required.

To follow emotions based decisions now would be such a backwards step and taking the easy route. We are all here because we are desperate to rid ourselves of this unhealthy way of managing our lives, we have a way out of the deep hole with RN so we can not allow emotions to get in the way of our values. Perseverance in key.

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"Should you fail to permanently recover from your addiction, it will be due to your inability to fully commit to recovery"


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 3:35 am 
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LESSON 51

A. Consider one of your specific compulsive rituals. Or, if you feel comfortable, consider an entire compulsive chain. Identify the point in that ritual/chain when you should begin considering the options that you have available. What are these options? (consider reasonable options only)

One of my compulsive rituals would be sending inappropriate emails to someone after having had a legitimate exchange of appropriate emails with them. The point in the ritual/chain where the options should be considered would be at the point of having pictured changing the tone of the tone of the conversation and to ask if they would be prepared to have a private personal discussion. The options that are available are:

Option #1 - send the email that changes the course of the conversation to something inappropriate
Option #2 - stop sending any further emails immediately
Option # 3 - continue the emails with a view to sending only appropriate emails but to conclude the exchanges as quickly but naturally as possible

B. Of the options listed above, which would be automatically filtered out because of your boundaries? What would you do in the case of a value conflict? (i.e. when the same option would create both positive and negative influences on your value system)

Option #1
This violates a number of my values - to be faithful/trustworthy/honest/reliable, to actually be the good person that others see me as and to feel relaxed and have a clear conscience.
This option is therefore discounted.

Option #2
The only value this could potentially violate is to actually be the good person that others see me as in the event that I create an impression of acting weirdly with the other person.
This option is therefore discounted.

Option #3
This option satisfies all of my values and would in fact reinforce them.
This is the option that should be selected.

C. Of the remaining options, what would be the anticipated consequences of the following:

In relation to Option #3:

i. You make the decision to act on this option
My values are reinforced. There may be temporary anxiety at avoiding the rush that I would get from acting out but that would soon pass. I would feel good about myself for making the right decision.

ii. You make the decision NOT to act on this option
My values would be violated and they would be weakened by having acted against them in an emotional manner. I would feel guilt and shame afterwards and be angry with myself.

iii. You make the decision to act on this option, and that decision becomes known by others
I should feel comfortable in that I had acted in an appropriate rather than an inappropriate manner which supported my values. I could look my wife in the eye and be comfortable that I had made the right decision.

iv. You make the decision to act on this option, and that decision remains secret
Whilst having a validation tool set as whether I could speak to my wife about whatever I was about to do, it is probably more important to me that I know that I had made the right decision otherwise the filtering out could be due to fear (of telling my wife) rather than it violating my values which only I would know meant the decision was made for the right reasons.

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"Should you fail to permanently recover from your addiction, it will be due to your inability to fully commit to recovery"


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 4:43 am 
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LESSON 52

At work we have just gone through a tender exercise which has led to a decision being taken to replace the existing investment managers with someone else. The existing people have been in place for over 30 years and it was always going to come as a shock to them that they had lost it. I had to go and meet with them to tell them the news and I was chatting to my wife about it that evening. I work closely with the two individuals that I had to tell and they took the news very badly (to the point it was almost getting unprofessional in the way that they were dealing with it in front of me). My wife told me she would hate my job and didn't know how I could cope with having to speak to them about it. I explained that it is a part of my job that I don't enjoy and fortunately it doesn’t happen that often. But you can't get emotional about it, it is a business thing and you need to be professional and focus on any positives that you can which is what I did. Whilst it wasn't a pleasant experience I did not feel emotionally upset about telling them as I was able to take my emotions out of my mind in doing what I had to do.

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"Should you fail to permanently recover from your addiction, it will be due to your inability to fully commit to recovery"


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 2:30 am 
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LESSON 53

A. Describe a situation where you would consider masturbation to be against your values — and therefore, a destructive act. Describe a situation where you would consider masturbating to be within your values — and therefore, a healthy act.

Against My Values
For nearly 40 years I had masturbated on almost a daily basis. The masturbate that frequently required a constant shift in what I was thinking and fantasising about. This would generally either entail fantasising about having sex with people that I knew or to relive exciting sexual encounters that I had previously had. All of this is violating a number of my values and would leave me feeling guilt and shame immediately afterwards. I got myself in to a mindset (with so much practice!) that I couldn't cope without regularly masturbating as I felt that my urges would be so overwhelming that my head would explode so I used that as an excuse to keep doing it.
Since joining RN I haven't masturbated once which is now coming up for 2 months which puts me very much into unchartered territory. What I found incredibly helpful was hearing from Kenzo that he hasn’t masturbated for years and doesn't miss it at all, hearing that has reinforced my confidence that I do not need to do that any more.

Within My Values
The only scenarios that I could envisage where this would be within my values would be if it formed part of having sex with my wife or possibly if I felt an overwhelming need to masturbate and I pictured having sex with my wife as I did it. However, in relation to the latter I know that part of my brain would suddenly recognise that "masturbating is OK again" and that would provide a new wave of stress for being tempted to masturbate about unhealthy things. As such, I know that I need to keep masturbation off the agenda even if it technically would be within my values in that particular instance.

B. In your recovery thread, list other common value conflicts involving sexual and/or romantic behavior that you have found yourself engaged in? Or that you may find yourself engaged in, given your history.

Probably the worst and the one I feel most ashamed of is having had sex with my wife whilst thinking about someone else. This stems from having masturbated so regularly and the habituation that sets in and need increasingly more exciting things to think about to be able to get off on it. Whilst my brain could keep feeding it more and more exciting things there was no way that my wife could complete with that. She is beautiful and is incredible shape but she had no chance. I would really crap afterwards but I would not be able to climax if I didn't do this. Interestingly since starting RN we have had sex twice since then which is the only orgasms I have had for 2 months. As part of my action plans I have made a point of being more tactile with her on a daily basis and appreciating her more which has brought us much closer together. Both time we have had sex recently it was like being taken back to when we first met and I have been fully engaged with having sex with her which has been a great experience. I can feel such a change in myself and I know that RN is working for me.

Another possible conflict that springs to mind is where in the past I have tried to avoid having a situation where I avoid masturbation over a weekend in case my wife would want to have sex with me. I would then sense after the first day that she wasn't going to be interested after getting my advances rejected so I would decide whether to masturbate on the second day so that my urges would be taken away and I would be able to avoid making further advances on her that day on the basis as she probably wouldn't be interested again. The upside of this act would be that it takes the pressure off of her but the downside would be that she then makes an advance on me afterwards and I have lost the urge. I used to find that quite stressful!

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"Should you fail to permanently recover from your addiction, it will be due to your inability to fully commit to recovery"


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 2:26 am 
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LESSON 54

A. Select a VALUE-BASED decision that you have made in the past year. What were some NEGATIVE consequences that resulted from that decision?

On the lead up to appraisal season I was recently chatting to one of my direct reports and he referred back to his appraisal meeting last year where I described a number of areas where I felt he was failing to deliver what was needed. Whilst he recognised the content of what I had covered was appropriate and that he had underperformed in a number of areas he felt that I should have been speaking to him about some of those areas sooner rather than saving them up for the interview. In the weeks and months following that appraisal I had regretted how I had handled that situation although at the time I had tried to justify to him (and myself) that I was right and had no other choice of how to handle it. I knew that I could have handled the situation very differently and not allowed the meeting to build up into a bigger deal that it needed to be. So when he raised it with me recently I told him that I regretted how I handled it last year and that I was wrong. Whilst I stood by the content of what I had said I should have handled the situation very differently and that I had learned from that. I am someone who thinks that I am always right and it is not easy for me to admit that I am wrong. But I admitted that (which aligns with my values of being honest and wanting to be the person that others see me as) but the negative consequence to me of this was that I was no longer seen as the perfect person that I think that I am at times which could be potentially seen by others as a weakness. Clearly that is nonsense and I think he probably holds me in higher regard now for admitting that I was wrong but it felt very uncomfortable to admit that I was wrong in what I had done.

B. Select an EMOTION-BASED decision that you have made in the past year. What were some POSITIVE consequences that resulted from that decision?

A few months back I learned that some hacked nude celebrity photos of a celebrity had been released who were of a former Miss UK that I have always found really attractive. When I found the photos I got a real rush from them and then realised that there were some stolen clips of her masturbating and having sex with someone too. This felt like a massive bonus and took my arousal to a whole new level.

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"Should you fail to permanently recover from your addiction, it will be due to your inability to fully commit to recovery"


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2017 5:48 am 
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LESSON 57

ACTION PLANS

Whilst this lesson does not require the commentary to added to our personal threads I would rather have this recorded so I know where it is to refer back to. I have tried to cover all scenarios that I think are possible based on what I have experienced in the past. The commentary under each is intentionally repetitive as I want each Action Plan to be self contained for when I refer to it.


1. Introduced to a female through business dealings that I find attractive where I would have an opportunity to legitimately email them which could then lead me to persuading them into inappropriate email exchanges and ultimately sharing naked photos of themselves with me

Evaluate all realistic options
The only values based options would be either to avoid anything other than essential business exchanges - I can be friendly but not flirty; alternatively I could flirt a little as harmless fun but to not take it any further. The latter could potentially satisfy my values if properly controlled but going by past experiences it is dangerous and is taking unnecessary risk. I will therefore choose the former and limit any emails to business related and friendly but not flirty. I will remind myself that any sense of potential thrill from selecting a more unhealthy option could lead me to acting out which would end up violating my values and also those of my wife and the person involved and would leave me feeling guilt and shame. Instead selecting this option would leave me feeling good about myself that I had made the right decision which will reinforce my values.

Evaluate the potential consequences of the option(s) that you choose
There are no consequences as the option selected would avoid any acting out which would completely align with my values.


2. Taking advantage of friends that I may find attractive with a view to emailing them which could then lead me to persuading them into inappropriate email exchanges and ultimately sharing naked photos of themselves with me

Evaluate all realistic options
Once the emailing process starts it is very difficult for me to stop acting out so I can only be confident of avoiding acting out if I do not engage in the emailing process and/or entering into any grooming discussion from the start. I will remind myself that any sense of potential thrill from selecting a more unhealthy option could lead me to acting out which would end up violating my values and also those of my wife and the person involved and would leave me feeling guilt and shame. Instead selecting this option would leave me feeling good about myself that I had made the right decision which will reinforce my values.

Evaluate the potential consequences of the option(s) that you choose
There are no consequences as the option selected would avoid any acting out which would completely align with my values.


3. Becoming aware (either through accidentally stumbling across a news article or after actively looking for it) that new hacked naked photos had been published on the internet of a particular celebrity that I find attractive

Evaluate all realistic options
The options are simply to try and find those images or to ignore them. The latter is the only healthy option so I would choose to ignore them. I will remind myself that any sense of potential thrill from selecting a more unhealthy option could lead me to acting out which would end up violating my values and also those of my wife and would leave me feeling guilt and shame. I need also to remember that these images were not intended for me to view and to see them would also violate that person's privacy. Selecting this option would leave me feeling good about myself that I had made the right decision which will reinforce my values.

Evaluate the potential consequences of the option(s) that you choose
There are no consequences as the option selected would avoid any acting out which would completely align with my values.


4. Choosing to get back in contact with females that I had previously engaged either in inappropriate emails and/or sexual activity in the past

Evaluate all realistic options
The options are either to get back in touch with these individuals or to continue to ignore them. The only healthy option is to continue to ignore them. When I have tried to approach people in this situation in the past they have initially been reluctant to talk to me and have needed some persuasion so they are unlikely to be approaching me unsolicited. I will remind myself that any sense of potential thrill from selecting a more unhealthy option could lead me to acting out which would end up violating my values and also those of my wife and the individual concerned and would leave me feeling guilt and shame. Selecting this option would leave me feeling good about myself that I had made the right decision which will reinforce my values.

Evaluate the potential consequences of the option(s) that you choose
There are no consequences as the option selected would avoid any acting out which would completely align with my values.


5. Having a female that I find attractive that I am legitimately talking to about something starts to make it clear to me that they find me attractive and are available if I want them

Evaluate all realistic options
Engaging in any form of reciprocal flirtation would be very dangerous for me. The only healthy option would be to maintain an appropriate and friendly level of discussion and to ensure that the discussion is not allowed to drift into anything suggestive. I need to be ready with a comment which will head ny attempt by them to be more suggestive towards me such as "I'm not sure my wife would be too pleased with that so I will need to respectfully keep things above board". If the scenario is rehearsed in my head then I can find a way of phrasing this more naturally so as to head off any such situations whilst keeping any offence or tension with the other person to a minimum. I will remind myself that any sense of potential thrill from selecting a more unhealthy option could lead me to acting out which would end up violating my values and also those of my wife and the individual concerned and would leave me feeling guilt and shame. Selecting this option would leave me feeling good about myself that I had made the right decision which will reinforce my values.

Evaluate the potential consequences of the option(s) that you choose
There are no consequences as the option selected would avoid any acting out which would completely align with my values.


6. Recalling times where I have spent time trawling through porn websites searching for and then finding particular videos that have appealed to me which would then lead me to want to go back to those sites to look for similar clips

Evaluate all realistic options
The options are to either trawl the porn sites or not to. Clearly the only healthy option is to not trawl the porn sites but the important factor for me here is heading off the thought of doing this at the earliest opportunity in order to minimum and sense of thrill from acting out. I will remind myself that any sense of potential thrill from selecting a more unhealthy option could lead me to acting out which would end up violating my values and also those of my wife and the individual concerned (who are likely not being videoed because they want to be and are not actually enjoying it) and would leave me feeling guilt and shame. Selecting this option would leave me feeling good about myself that I had made the right decision which will reinforce my values.

Evaluate the potential consequences of the option(s) that you choose

There are no consequences as the option selected would avoid any acting out which would completely align with my values.


7. Business trips where I am away from home and feel that I would be unlikely to be caught if I acted out. Acting out could cover a range of things including:
a. Use of escorts/massages
b. Ordering room service and answering the door naked if it is a woman
c. Looking at porn on my iPad


Evaluate all realistic options
In the past all of these activities have started with a sense of having the opportunity to act out and leads into fantasising about possible activities. The only healthy option is to head off fantasising about this situation at the earliest opportunity which will then avoid any acting out. I will remind myself that any sense of potential thrill from selecting a more unhealthy option could lead me to acting out which would end up violating my values and also those of my wife and the individuals concerned and would leave me feeling guilt and shame. In particular:
a. The escorts are not doing that job because they want to, it is generally because they have found themselves in a financial hole (e.g. drug addictions or pimped) that they are not able to get out of
b. The individuals are undertaking a respectable job of working for a hotel and should not expect to have to endure hotel guests exposing themselves to them
c. The individuals are likely not being videoed because they want to be and are not actually enjoying it
Selecting this option would leave me feeling good about myself that I had made the right decision which will reinforce my values.

Evaluate the potential consequences of the option(s) that you choose
There are no consequences as the option selected would avoid any acting out which would completely align with my values.


8. Finding myself legitimately left alone in a meeting room with someone that I had previously engaged either in inappropriate emails and/or sexual activity with in the past

Evaluate all realistic options
There will be lower barriers to break down with someone that I had engaged in inappropriate activity with previously than with someone fresh. They would probably look to my lead on the conversation but it would also be feasible for them to broach the subject too. I need to be ready for both scenarios. The only healthy option is to avoid getting into any form of inappropriate discussion which will stop it before it starts. If the other person brings up the subject then I need to be ready for a comment which will stop it such as "What happened is in the past and needs to stay there, I don't wish to start anything up again as it will make both of us feel rubbish and is just not worth it". On my side I need to ensure that I avoid bringing the subject up myself too. I will remind myself that any sense of potential thrill from selecting a more unhealthy option could lead me to acting out which would end up violating my values and also those of my wife and the individual concerned and would leave me feeling guilt and shame. Selecting this option would leave me feeling good about myself that I had made the right decision which will reinforce my values.

Evaluate the potential consequences of the option(s) that you choose
There are no consequences as the option selected would avoid any acting out which would completely align with my values.


9. Watching TV with my wife and a scene involving nudity and/or sexual activity appears which could lead me to fantasising

Evaluate all realistic options
I have no control over the content of the programmes that my wife and I choose to watch together. From time to time nudity and erotic scenes may occur but the only healthy option for me would be to not then fantasise about the person afterwards and be tempted to research them later online. I need to watch the scene in the context that it was intended and then to put it behind me and not dwell on it. I will remind myself that any sense of potential thrill from selecting a more unhealthy option could lead me to acting out which would end up violating my values and also those of my wife and would leave me feeling guilt and shame. Selecting this option would leave me feeling good about myself that I had made the right decision which will reinforce my values.

Evaluate the potential consequences of the option(s) that you choose
There are no consequences as the option selected would avoid any acting out which would completely align with my values.


10. Being on a beach and scanning the women on there to find ones of interest to me and then keeping an eye on them with a view to seeing them naked perhaps when they change bikinis after coming out of the sea

Evaluate all realistic options
The only healthy option is to recognise any temptation to look at other women on the beach as the thought occurs to me and concentrate instead on more appropriate things such as chatting to my family or closing my eyes to relax on the beach. I will remind myself that any sense of potential thrill from selecting a more unhealthy option could lead me to acting out which would end up violating my values and also those of my wife and the individual concerned and would leave me feeling guilt and shame. Selecting this option would leave me feeling good about myself that I had made the right decision which will reinforce my values.

Evaluate the potential consequences of the option(s) that you choose
There are no consequences as the option selected would avoid any acting out which would completely align with my values.


11. Being in women's clothes shops with my wife and passing the changing rooms and trying to discretely look inside to catch a women in a state of undress


Evaluate all realistic options
The only healthy option is to recognise any temptation to look at other women in the changing rooms as the thought occurs to me and to make a point of looking the other way and to concentrate instead on more appropriate things such as chatting to my wife about clothing items I had noticed in the shop that might interest her. I will remind myself that any sense of potential thrill from selecting a more unhealthy option could lead me to acting out which would end up violating my values and also those of my wife and the individual concerned and would leave me feeling guilt and shame. Selecting this option would leave me feeling good about myself that I had made the right decision which will reinforce my values.

Evaluate the potential consequences of the option(s) that you choose
There are no consequences as the option selected would avoid any acting out which would completely align with my values.


12. Noticing women in the apartment blocks overlooked by our offices where they may be in a state of undress.

Evaluate all realistic options
The only healthy option is to recognise any temptation as soon as it occurs to me to look at these women in their apartments as they have the right to their privacy. I need to make a point of looking the other way and to concentrate instead on more appropriate things such as my work or going to the kitchen to get a refreshment. I will remind myself that any sense of potential thrill from selecting a more unhealthy option could lead me to acting out which would end up violating my values and also those of my wife and the individual concerned and would leave me feeling guilt and shame. Selecting this option would leave me feeling good about myself that I had made the right decision which will reinforce my values.

Evaluate the potential consequences of the option(s) that you choose
There are no consequences as the option selected would avoid any acting out which would completely align with my values.


13. Objectifying women that I see in any situation during the day

Evaluate all realistic options
The only healthy option is to recognise that I am being tempted to look at these women in a sexual way where I would try to picture them naked as they have the right to their privacy and to be wherever I am without being made to feel like sexual objects. They may well not see me looking at them in this way but that is not the point, I know I would be looking at them in that way and I need to distract myself by turning my attention to something else. I will remind myself that any sense of potential thrill from selecting a more unhealthy option could lead me to acting out which would end up violating my values and also those of my wife and the individual concerned and would leave me feeling guilt and shame. Selecting this option would leave me feeling good about myself that I had made the right decision which will reinforce my values.

Evaluate the potential consequences of the option(s) that you choose
There are no consequences as the option selected would avoid any acting out which would completely align with my values.

_________________
L2R

"Should you fail to permanently recover from your addiction, it will be due to your inability to fully commit to recovery"


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2017 12:02 pm 
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LESSON 58

Define the five rituals that you will most likely face in the next two years. For each, develop an action plan in five minutes or less...that focuses specifically on the immediate action you will take upon the awareness of the ritual; the anticipated emotions you will feel after you engage in that behavior; and the likely mind-games that you will play to get you to abandon your values-based decision making for emotion based decision making.


Ritual No. 1 - Objectifying women that I see in any situation during the day

Action Plan
Recognise that I am looking at a woman and have started to look at her inappropriately
Immediately remind myself that I am disrespecting her by doing this and therefore violating her, my and my wife's values
Remind myself by not immediately stopping could result in me acting out which will leave me feeling awful afterwards
Distract myself by looking away at something else
Remind myself that any urges are emotional responses whose signals are not how I make my decisions
Remind myself that any feelings of discomfort will soon pass and will be replaced by a good feeling that I had made a values based decision

Anticipated Emotions if Engaged
If not stopped I would get a rush of excitement at the thought of being able to picture them naked.
The excitement would get greater if I developed it into a scenario of her having sex with me.
Having not allowed myself to fantasise for a couple of months now I sense that the feelings would be far more intense now than they would have been previously

Likely Mind Games
1. There is no harm in picturing this woman naked as she won't know that's what I'm thinking about and neither will my wife
2. If she is looking hot the way that she is dressed and how visually attractive she is then she must know that herself and will welcome me looking at her and giving her attention
3. All men look at women in that way so it's OK for me to do it
4. I can't help the way that I am wired, it is just what I do to look at women in that way


Ritual No. 2 - Noticing women in the apartment blocks overlooked by our offices where they may be in a state of undress.

Action Plan
Recognise that I am looking at the apartment windows and have noticed the bedroom lights on and am being tempted to look for activity inside
Immediately remind myself that I am disrespecting the women that may be inside by doing this and therefore violating their, my and my wife's values
Remind myself by not immediately stopping could result in me acting out which will leave me feeling awful afterwards
Distract myself by looking away and doing something else
Remind myself that any urges are emotional responses whose signals are not how I make my decisions
Remind myself that any feelings of discomfort will soon pass and will be replaced by a good feeling that I had made a values based decision

Anticipated Emotions if Engaged
I would get a rush of excitement to see activity within the apartments which turn out to be women in states of undress
If I noticed that one of them was actually naked it would give me a huge rush of achievement to finally see what they looked like naked

Likely Mind Games
1. There is no harm in looking at these woman naked as they won't know that I am looking at them if I am careful not to be spotted and neither will my wife
2. I have spent years trying to see these women naked and I can justify the effort I have put in to achieve this so I have really earned the right to see them wearing nothing
3. If I can just see them naked once then I won't ever need to look into their apartment windows again as I will already know what they look like naked



Ritual No 3 - Introduced to a female through business dealings that I find attractive where I would have an opportunity to legitimately email them which could then lead me to persuading them into inappropriate email exchanges and ultimately sharing naked photos of themselves with me

Action Plan
I will sense immediately that an opportunity has presented itself and I will be alive to that.
I can be friendly but not flirty and limit any emails to business related and appropriate friendly discussion.
Remind myself that any sense of potential thrill from selecting a more unhealthy option could lead me to acting out which would end up violating my values and also those of my wife and the person involved and would leave me feeling guilt and shame.
Remind myself that any urges are emotional responses whose signals are not how I make my decisions
Remind myself that any feelings of discomfort will soon pass and will be replaced by a good feeling that I had made a values based decision


Anticipated Emotions if Engaged
Someone falling into this category is likely to be a service provider which means that I wield some level of control over them which puts me into a strong position which would make me feel powerful and aroused.
The anticipation of being able to talk them into sending me personal information about them and ultimately naked photos of themselves would generate considerable excitement in me
The rush of excitement would get considerably more intense at the point of no return of sending that first email which changes the tone of the conversation
If ultimately successful the excitement and sense of achievement if obtaining naked photos of them would be massive

Likely Mind Games
1. She will have watched the 50 Shades films and will be someone who is secretly aroused by being controlled by someone in a business relationship
2. She will look at me as being someone who is powerful in business and she will find that to be a real turn on for her
3. She will have fantasised about me persuading her to have sex with me even though she is in a relationship with someone else
4. She is probably bored with her partner and is being taken for granted and would enjoy having some excitement in her life and have someone make her feel sexy and attractive



Ritual No 4 - Becoming aware (either through accidentally stumbling across a news article or after actively looking for it) that new hacked naked photos had been published on the internet of a particular celebrity that I find attractive

Action Plan
When I learn that there are new photos I will immediately remind myself that I will remind myself that these images were not intended for me to view and to see them would also violate that person's privacy.
Remind myself that if I were to try and find and view them then I would feel horrible afterwards that I had invaded their privacy and to act out in this way would violate their, my and my wife's values.
Distract myself by doing something else that is appropriate for me to do
Remind myself that any urges are emotional responses whose signals are not how I make my decisions
Remind myself that any feelings of discomfort will soon pass and will be replaced by a good feeling that I had made a values based decision

Anticipated Emotions if Engaged
If the images are of someone that I find very attractive and have fantasised about having sex with then there would be strong feelings of anticipation at the thought of seeing them naked at last
If I managed to find them I would get a real sense of achievement
I would get a rush of excitement of actually viewing the pictures and seeing them naked particularly if it is against their will

Likely Mind Games
1. The photos are in the public domain so I am just as entitled to see them as anyone else
2. Thousands of people have already viewed the photos so what harm is there in me seeing them too?
3. If I can see what she actually looks like naked then that will be a helpful image to have in my head the next time I see them appearing on TV
4. Knowing what they actually look like naked would make the fantasies about having sex with them more real as I would know exactly what they look like when I peel their clothes off



Ritual No 5 - Finding myself legitimately left alone in a meeting room with someone that I had previously engaged either in inappropriate emails and/or sexual activity with in the past

Action Plan
I would immediately sense the sexual tension through the opportunity created of being left alone in the room with them
Remind myself that acting out would make me feel terrible afterwards as this would be a violation of their, my and my wife's values
Eliminate any thought of starting any inappropriate conversation
Stop any attempt at inappropriate conversation from them by saying that what has happened in the past needs to stay there and not be resurrected
Remind myself that any urges are emotional responses whose signals are not how I make my decisions
Remind myself that any feelings of discomfort will soon pass and will be replaced by a good feeling that I had made a values based decision

Anticipated Emotions if Engaged
Picturing them naked knowing that I know exactly what they look like underneath their clothing is very exciting
I know that if I asked them to show me part of their body that they probably would which would make me feel powerful and in control
Fantasising about having sex with them again would give me a rush of excitement particularly if enhanced by having sex inside an office with the danger of getting caught

Likely Mind Games
I have already had sex with them before so it doesn’t really count if I had sex with them again
It is inevitable that the subject of our past sexual experiences will be discussed if we have been left in a room alone together
She still fancies me
She still fantasised about me and masturbates whilst thinking of me
She has sex with her partner and keeps her eyes closed pretending she is with me

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 11:19 am 
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NOTE TO SELF

I have been having a sense of it all starting to come together now and thought it might be helpful to record some thoughts on my thread for my own future reference and also in case they are of interest to any passing traffic.

I was on a business trip for the whole day yesterday and got home late last night. I had prepared myself for various possible things that could come up in advance on the trip (e.g. objectifying women I came across during my travels) and a couple of them did. I had gone through in my mind previously how I could react and had run scenarios through my head and then I used a couple of them and headed the triggers off straight away. I then came into work this morning very early and as I got up from my desk to get a coffee I noticed that the bedroom light in the apartment opposite my office window was on with the blind up which is where there is a woman who I have watched getting ready for work in the past. My instinct was to go over to the window and look but for the first time ever I used my well rehearsed action plan and stopped myself. It felt really weird for a moment doing something different but I went off and did something else. I could notice the tug momentarily in missing an opportunity but that quickly passed (as I had told myself) and was replaced with a good feeling about myself where I felt I had done the right thing and had respected her, my and my wife's values (which I had also told myself would happen). This may be an odd thing to record but between the incidents yesterday on the trip and this morning in the office it is almost the first time that the theory of the learning and role playing in my mind had been put into practice and they worked. Clearly I have a long way to go to get all of this fully engrained but it just seemed like I had taken a great step forward which has given me even more enthusiasm to keep pushing on with things.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 01, 2017 12:46 pm 
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LESSON 60

1. Develop a Plan
Engaging in these five actions will ensure that you maintain the most efficient skills for preventing relapse. Develop a plan that is unique to you. Post this plan on your Recovery Thread.


Five Required Actions in Effective Relapse Prevention

1. Prior to an Expected Triggering Event

The key predictable areas for me that would create threats which covers all past acting out are:
§ Business trips
§ Planned business meetings with females that I find attractive
§ I am contacted by someone I have previously acted out with that would like to meet up or re-engage in inappropriate conversation
§ I am contacted by email by someone that I find attractive
§ Arriving at work in the morning early when the women in the surrounding apartments are getting ready for work
§ I learn that a further batch of hacked celebrity photos have just been leaked

I have action plans prepared for each of these scenarios already so I need to ensure that I am well rehearsed on each of these and have run through scenarios with positive outcomes to each

2. Prior to a Spontaneous Triggering Event

This applies to all of the possible triggers that I have prepared action plans for. I will develop the review of these action plans to incorporate the process of starting the fantasy process. At the moment I am heading these urges off almost as soon as they start but to achieve the fantasising approach I need to play the scenario out a little more (e.g. I picture the scenario of a female I find attractive making an inappropriate suggestion to me before I head it off whereas now I don’t allow my mind to get that far)

3. On the Experience of an Urge

I feel like I am OK with this at the moment, the summary of the process outlined is what I have been doing in order to manage any urges as and when they have arisen.

4. On the Discovery of Being “Off-Track”

Complacency has been a strong theme of this lesson and is very pertinent for me. For me to succeed in maintaining a healthy life from this point on I need to make sure that I invest sufficient time into practicing the exercises that I have got to this stage and to use the action plans as a basis for keeping these thoughts fresh in my mind before they eventually become engrained. Another important thought for me is an expression that has come up in previous lessons and is also relevant to AA too which is "Once is too much". In the past (prior to RN) I have felt myself getting past the point of no return and having a feeling of "well I can't do anything about it now I might as well just do it". Whilst I have various positive thoughts and action plans running through my head in readiness to combat any urges that arise which I hope will not get me to this stage I nevertheless need to be ready for it. I have in my mind that if I do get to that stage for whatever reason I would have my brain screaming out to me "It isn't too late to stop and if you don't stop immediately you will be so mad with yourself afterwards!" Regardless of how far down the line I get if this were to happen then a review of what led to me getting there (perhaps as simple as I got complacent and let my guard down) and then will review the action plans to ensure that I avoid any such recurrence in the future.

5. On Schedule

I have added a Q5 to my weekly monitoring now as follows which I hope will help me see if I have drifted in my emotions in any way:

Question #5: Have I had any events or incidents that have taken place over the last week which have caused me significant negative emotion (e.g. argument with wife, staff not doing what I expect of them, my football team lose, etc)? If so have I felt the need to adjust my emotional state to compensate for it even if that meant an urge that I have then headed off? If so then I need to better anticipate these situations and develop action plans on how to deal with them.

2. Motivators
A fundamental of early recovery is to establish a list of positive motivators that can be used to sustain one's focus and energy throughout the transition to health. Go back and examine your own motivators (Lesson One) — note those that continue to motivate you today and those that have lost their intensity. You will almost universally conclude that it is the positive motivators that have survived the crisis. Those based on negativity and fear (e.g. I don't want to lose my marriage; I hate who I have become) tend to lose their ability to motivate as the initial crisis wanes.


This was interesting, I have copied below my motivators from Less 1 again below:

1. I want to be honest with everyone and have nothing to hide
2. I want to start liking myself again
3. I want to be transparent with my wife about everything that I do
4. I want to feel like the chains that have been binding me for so long have been released
5. I want to look my son in the eye and feel confident that I will always be there for him
6. I want to feel like I am the person that others who don’t know my secrets believe me to be
7. I want to feel confident that I am able to enjoy everything I have worked so hard to build up over the years
8. I want my family to be proud of me and for me to know that their pride is well founded
9. I want to prove to myself that it is not inevitable that I will lose everything
10. I want my mind to be at peace and to be away from the exhaustion of holding and acting on the secrets
11. I want to have some certainty over having a bright and happy future ahead of me around my family.


I would say that all of these on the list still apply as motivators to me. I think the reason for that is that I am in a somewhat different situation to many people on RN where my motivation to join RN was not as a result of having recent been caught acting out and joining as a way of appeasing my spouse. As such, and whilst she is in the forefront of my mind, I was more relaxed than many when producing my list of motivators.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2017 3:22 am 
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LESSON 61

1. The further you get in the workshop, the less and less you will be asked to share with others. This is not because you shouldn't share these things, it is only to ease the transition of independence and self-guidance. And so, you share whatever thoughts, experiences and/or efforts you have with managing slips. Or, share nothing. It is completely up to you.

It has been a very interesting process so far. When I read about slips now I think back to my mindset at Lesson 1 and thinking that my ability to avoid acting out completely felt beyond me. Back then a slip every now or then would feel like some kind of success and I never thought that I could get to a situation where a slip for me meant letting my mind drift into the early stages of an urge so in that sense I can really feel the progress and learning that I have taken on to date. I now find myself taking moments of most days when I am alone with a little time to think about what areas of my compulsions are most likely to attack’s me and then to run through scenarios in my head with healthy outcomes. Then over the last week or two I have encountered situations where my feared situations have arisen and I have been ready for them which has made me feel good afterwards. I have also had situations which I hadn’t anticipated and have quickly frozen any reaction and have afterwards reflected and gone through new scenarios it’s healthy outcomes to make me prepared for any such recurrences in future. So at the moment slips for me are signs that I was not ready for a given situation and I have been quickly resolving and learning which I am seeing as part of the learning process.

2. Consider your current vision. See how it has evolved from it's initial state (Lesson Two). See which areas of this vision continue to guide you, which you have come to evolve, which you have come to neglect and which are now irrelevant.

I have copied below again my reworked vision following feedback I had previously received from Kenzo.

My Vision (Reworked)
To be seen as a man who is respectable, generous, loyal and completely trustworthy.
A person that family, friends and colleagues can turn to in their time of need knowing that they will willingly get my time, help and support to help them through their crisis.
To also be seen as a loving husband who appreciates his wife and sees her as his best friend, there to provide love and support through the good and the difficult times.
To be a caring father who is there for his son and will encourage, nurture, coach and help him to be the best person that he can be.
To be a successful business leader known for my creativity, vision and energy and surrounded by a team of individuals that feel valued, motivated and lucky to be working with me.
To be someone who is seen to be successful in business but achieves the right work/life balance
To be known by family, friends and colleagues for being someone who is calm, unconfrontational and will use his sense of humour to bring a smile to their faces and brighten their day


On reading through them I believe them all to remain relevant to me. The acid test for me is that if I achieve all of these things then I will be the person that I strive to me which probably means that it is appropriate for me. I am achieving some of these areas already but in each area they have certainly been strengthened through the RN process so far. The areas where I think I am now achieving whereas I was not previously are:

Loyal and completely trustworthy
The driving force for me to join RN was to be able to achieve this. It is still early days but for the first time in my adult life I feel that this is achievable and I have done nothing sine Lesson 1 which would breach these values.

Unconfrontational
I have made a particular effort to be more tolerant of people and to avoid unnecessary arguments. In particular at home this has made a big difference which I feel has brought me closer to my wife.

To also be seen as a loving husband who appreciates his wife and sees her as his best friend
With my focus now fully on my wife rather than being distracted by looking at inappropriate images of celebrities and fantasising about other people I feel that this has also contributed towards a stronger relationship with my wife. I can see that she feels more relaxed with me now and closer to me.

3. Use the insights from #2 to offer feedback to at least two people's visions.

I am happy to do this but would feel more comfortable doing this once we have been given mentor status per the recent lesson request otherwise I fear that the person may feel that I am inappropriately interfering with their thread.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2017 4:07 am 
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LESSON 62

Develop three-five 'most-likely' scenarios where you might face relapse. Role play (in your head or with someone you trust) how you will manage these situations.

Whilst I do not wish to become complacent my past has primarily involved me taking the initiative to do approach someone rather than reacting to being approached myself. Also, whilst no acting out is acceptable I sense that my old brain senses a difference between me doing things which involve me physically being with someone else and situations that do not involve physical contact with another person and in particular where the other person has no idea of what I am doing. On that basis I feel that I am most vulnerable to the latter and have action plans in place to prepare for those. In order or likelihood these would be as follows:

Objectifying Women
The frequency of situations which arise on a daily basis where other women appear in front of me (e.g. walking down the street) is the main obstacle here. I can be thinking of something completely different and then suddenly a very attractive female may walk past me and when my guard is down I risk instinctively reverting back to old habits which are engrained in me. My action plan involves recognising this as soon as it happens and then breaking the chain by freezing the emotion and shifting my attention to somewhere else. This happens a lot so I have had a lot of practice with this recently!

Looking into Apartment Windows
There are a few apartment bedroom windows that my office overlooks and there is a real temptation to look inside in the morning when I get into work. In fact this has happened this morning as I write this, directly opposite my office window there is a girl whose bedroom light is on and she stands in front of her mirror getting ready for work wearing not much. My action plan involves recognising that it would be against her, my and my wife's values to violate her privacy and I avoid looking but it would be better if she could just keep her blinds shut!

Leaked Hacked Celebrity Pictures
Whilst I have a plan in place for this I am sure that this may feel differently when I do actually hear of a set of new photos being leaked involving women that I find very attractive. For all the scenario running in my head it is difficult to replicate the emotion when it is reality versus role play. That said, I do think I will be able to head this off by recognising it breaches my values and would follow my plan.

Email Contact
The only scenario where I could anticipate realistically someone approaching me would be where I had engaged in inappropriate email exchanges with someone in the past and then they get back in touch again to have an inappropriate discussion. I still think this is unlikely but it could happen. My action plan leads me to recognise immediately that is unacceptable and breaches my values and I would respectfully decline the offer to pursue that sort of conversation.

Explore one unlikely situation where you might face relapse. A situation that you couldn't possibly prepare for. Will your Relapse Plan allow you to manage it? Why or why not?

I guess where I would be most tested would be a highly unlikely situation where someone that I find very attractive who I had not ever had any inappropriate discussions with was alone with me in a room (e.g. a business meeting) and then she suddenly makes it clear that she would like to have sex with me and strongly comes on to me. Whilst I have not put in place a specific action plan for this scenario I feel that my general approach would kick in whereby I would instantly recognise that this is an inappropriate situation and would freeze my emotions and tell myself that this would be a clear violation of my and my wife's values if I allowed the situation to proceed so I would head off the conversation probably using humour by saying that I don't think my wife would approve of that and then try to change the subject on to more appropriate matters.

Mentors

Again, I am happy to do this tasks as soon as my status has been changed to Mentor.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 2:08 am 
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LESSON 63

Evolve Your Weekly Monitoring
Review your current weekly monitoring and assess whether or not the areas you are assessing are 1) necessary and 2) adequate in strengthening your value system.


My weekly plan was constructed so that it would support each of my values. In the earlier days of recovery these were areas that I was making a conscious effort to implement but as time has gone on they have become more automatic. As such, I view the weekly monitoring as a helpful tool to ensure that there is no complacency and that I am not allowing any of them to fall off the list of areas to focus on. I therefore view them all as both necessary and adequate to strengthen my value system.

Mentors
As I have mentioned a few times now I am happy to do the mentor exercises but would like to have the Mentor status first to avoid the individuals thinking that am inappropriately intruding on their thread. I will need to go back and do all of the mentoring exercises at that time.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 3:05 am 
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LESSON 64

Take today to envision where you are in your transition to health. What skills do you feel you have worked hard to develop? What skills need additional work? Explore your attitude in regards to whether or not 'addiction' is a part of you; or merely a pattern that developed in your life. Explore your awareness as to the role that your compulsive rituals played...and what it would mean should they return. Explore how you would respond? Explore your confidence level in that response. Explore your overall balance and stability...how much of your life is spent 'fighting urges, managing urges, acting out, engaging in recovery activities, etc.' versus how much of your life is spent just living. Assess your identity for hyper-sexuality. How prevalent is it? Assess your value system. How efficient are you in using it to make decisions, achieve balance, etc.?

The journey so far has been a life changing one for me. I started out as someone who felt like their life was out of control in certain areas and was a time bomb waiting for me sooner or later to do something really stupid again, getting caught and then losing everything. It felt very much like it was all part of me and I could very little about it. The lessons learned to date have changed all of that. I have come to realise that I do have the ability to control my emotions and that the addiction is not part of me after all. I feel like I have been rewiring my brain and I now see things very differently. Of course I am mindful that I am still in recovery and there are some very real threats if I let my guard down or become complacent but I have a different focus now on my values and have a variety of action plans in place for the different scenarios that may arise and test me. The compulsive rituals played a significant role in my life previously, I was getting to a point where I could derive some sexual fantasy out of almost any given situation, there was a constant striving for getting emotional stimulation out of situations. The habitual nature of fantasies led to more complex fantasies being developed which became exhausting. To be free of that now is such a relief. I go into every day situations now and come away from them feeling that I can't believe I am able to walk away with a completely clear conscious of no inappropriate thoughts and feeling good about myself that I am turning into the nice person that others see me as and I that I wanted to be able to see myself as.

There have been key moments along the way which have really helped. I posted a thread in the community forum yesterday called Lightbulb Moments which was aimed at sharing some thoughts with other participants of how I have become able to view things differently now to how I did before. I also had an exchange with Kenzo which I found to be massively helpful in terms of whether it was possible to have a life without masturbation which completely changed my way of thinking.

If the compulsive rituals ever returned it would be devastating to me. I feel like I have got my life back and that I do not want to risk that for anything. I can't become complacent and allow that to happen so I am looking to find ways of ensuring that my action plans and strategies stay in the forefront of my mind. I don't feel like I am at particular risk in the short term but as the months and years go by I can see there is a very real risk of letting my guard down and not being prepared for when I need it most. For that reason having contact with the RN site on an almost daily basis will help me keep some focus on it. The request put to us recently to consider acting as a mentor and potentially a recovery coach appeals to me as firstly I would like to help others get to where I have reached, it will make me feel like I am giving back in some way but most importantly it will keep these thoughts and focus constantly in my head as I access the site on a daily basis.

I spend no time acting out but I do recognise that 40 years of having very regular inappropriate thoughts coming in to my head will take some time to break. They still come regularly but are batted away quite quickly. I can even see real progress there though as batting away an opportunity to have an urge felt very uncomfortable initially but now it is like my emotional brain is trying to have a go but when batted back is almost expecting it and there is much less emotional reaction to it. Most of my acting out was driven by me proactively so I am hopeful that by stopping pursuing that it should all quieten down. The biggest threat to me is probably someone approaching me. As an aging old git this becomes less and less likely but if it does happen I need to be ready for it. I have action plans in place and have run through scenarios in my head and continue to do so. It is very difficult to replicate the rush of adrenaline when a live situation or opportunity presents itself though so am I mindful of that. I do think I will be able to recognise immediately that something is happening though and to freeze and buy myself time to make a values based decision.

I read my values and vision regularly to keep it fresh in my mind. At the beginning there were parts of those values that I was living my life by and some of them were aspirational. When I read them now it feels like I am living by all of them which I did not expect to be able to say so quickly. It makes me feel good and gives me hope for the future and confidence that I will not lose everything after all. I found RN at just the right time. I find it interesting now reading through the threads of those that have recently joined and can sense their desperation to change and get their lives back and it reminds me how I felt at the time. If anyone reading my threads fall into that category then hopefully this will give them hope that it is not an illusion and you can get yourself out of the hole with a bit of work and perseverance.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 2:59 am 
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LESSON 66

a) Consider your perspective towards potential triggers when you were in early recovery. Consider your perspective now. How has this changed?

I found this to be a very interesting lesson in understanding that there can be different perspectives on how the triggers and stimuli may be perceived even if all of those perceptions lead to batting the urges away. I could see myself at the present time falling between a couple of options which probably shows that I had half got my head around this before!

When I was in early recovery I was finding satisfaction in batting away urges using action plans but this process could be emotionally draining. I was feeling like I was fully armed and ready to go into battle and each urge batted away would take its toll and make me battle weary. It made me feel good afterwards for having avoided acting out but I can see now that this is not sustainable in the longer term. As time has gone by and my confidence has grown I can sense that the triggers do not give me the same level of anxiety which is therefore les draining to fend them off. At times I almost feel that I would welcome triggers to come my way so that I can demonstrate to myself that I have sufficiently changed my mindset to be able to deal with them. If course this would be a dangerous strategy to go out looking for trouble but it shows me that I do not fear these triggers in the way that I did. I like the idea now of changing my mindset further as seeing them as opportunities to further engrain my values (positive) rather than as an exercise to defeat urges (negative). I will have this in my mind from now which I can see will be helpful and should generate more satisfaction.

b) List five potential triggers for you — that may lead you into a compulsive crisis. How can you shift your perspective of each so that they are not only NOT a threat to your values, but you can actually use these triggers to strengthen those values?

Triggers

Seeing a light on in an apartment bedroom window that my office overlooks
Learning that there had been a new release of celebrity hacked photos
Going into a meeting and finding a very attractive female there
Someone I had previously had inappropriate email exchanges with gets back in touch
Coming across a female during my day that I don't know that I find attractive and am tempted to objectify

Shift in Perspective

I suspect the object of the exercise is to consider each one in turn but when I have done that I can see that the mental response to each is very similar and follows a theme so I will group these together for this purpose.

When I run through in my mind any of the above scenarios I can immediately sense the trigger being presented to me and that I need to react. My head goes through a series of thought processes in a split second which are something along the lines of:

1. Oh no it's another trigger
2. This particular trigger is one that I used to really struggle, what a nightmare!
3. Actually it is no longer a nightmare because I know how to deal with this now
4. I picture the scene freeze framing and I visually see it as a blue frame around the outside of the TV screen type image
5. I mentally move this box to the left hand side which in my mind is moving the emotion away to the left so that I can make a non-emotional decision
[HERE IS THE NEW BIT FOR ME NOW}
6. Rather than fearing this trigger I am actually now pleased to have another opportunity to prove to myself that not only can I bat the trigger away that it will be able to reinforce the particular value I have in play here
7. I recognise that to act out any urge in this instance would violate that person's values, they would violate my own and also that of my wife and for those reasons I can calmly bat the opportunity away
8. With the opportunity gone I can then reflect back on how I have yet again been successful in making a values based decision and that my confidence in my values has developed even further and I have a good feeling of satisfaction running through me

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 08, 2017 3:32 am 
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LESSON 67

a) List the most likely behavior that you will need to monitor for potential 'switching' and/or compulsivity now that the sexual rituals have subsided.

The 3 main addictions for me have always been drinking, smoking and sex. I stopped smoking several years ago, I stopped drinking just over a year ago and for me this is the last major obstacle. I feel that I have an addictive personality and I can easily get drawn into something and get obsessive about it. I went through a stage of gambling a year or so back which was to give me something to focus my mind on that I could discuss with my wife and would distract me from sexual behaviours. The appeal to me was not typical of a gambling addict, I liked the mental challenge of coming up with a system of spending little but winning big over time. I actually felt like I was on the verge of something but it didn't quite work. I ended up feeling though that it was biting into my social time with my wife so I stopped. On reading this lesson I can see that I had probably transferred the obsession over from sex temporarily to gambling.

I need to watch for this because I know that I am very prone to obsessing about things. In some ways I have perhaps become obsessed about this site. The whole subject of how the mind works and learning that my addiction was able to be remedied by the mind rather than it being a disease or something that could not be changed and being keen to learn more and seeing the benefits of that learning, I have undertaken a lesson and posted to my thread nearly every day for the last 3 months. I have recognised before that this was the case but I have had in my head that even if I have become a bit obsessed by it all that I was learning something healthy that will help me for the rest of my life. I will need to keep an eye on it though to ensure that I am not getting some sort of "fix" out of it.

b) Are these listed anywhere on your weekly monitoring so that you can objectively assess them?

I have added a Question #6 to my weekly plan which is "Are there any activities that you have engaged in over the last week that you might perceive as potentially introducing a new sort of addiction?"

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