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 Post subject: Ogre's recovery thread
PostPosted: Sun Jan 14, 2018 12:45 am 
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Joined: Wed Dec 13, 2017 8:21 pm
Posts: 2
Lesson 1

A. I will NOT let guilt and shame to sabotage my commitment to change. I will allow myself to change and I will not let fear keep me from changing. I am on board with everything stated. I am ready to run my life instead of letting it be run for me. I am tired of reacting to everything the way that I have always done. My life and my family are too important to let myself destroy all that have. I will face the guilt and shame and I WILL succeed over this addiction and way of thinking.

B. Why I permanently want to change
1. I want to be completely honest with myself
2. I want to be a man of integrity
3. I want to be the good husband my wife deserves
4. I want to have a clear view of reality
5. I want significance in my life
6. I want control over my own life
7. I want to have a great marriage
8. I want to be emotionally mature
9. I want to be a reliable husband, father, and friend
10. I want to be free from the chains of my addictions and it's patterns
11. I want to be able to manage my emotions in a healthy way
12. I want to be able to manage my time responsibly
13. I want to experience true joy and contentment with myself
14. I want to build up my sense of self
15. I want to be able to look back and be proud of myself and my actions
16. I want a foundation to where I can build from
17. I want to develop intimacy in all it's ways
18. I want to live without fear of expressing my feelings openly when I feel them (when it is appropriate)
19. I want to be able to express my opinions without worrying on how people will see or think of me

C. While looking at this picture of myself, I was right about 5 years old. I was such an innocent sweet caring child who had no addictions or pain to try to cover up. I played and have no cares about anything other than being me. I was unknowing of the outside world and the problems associated with it. I was so sweet and loving. I knew (thought I knew) that my parents were perfect as well as life in general was perfect.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2018 12:12 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3592
Location: UK
Hello Ogre

Quote:
I am ready to run my life instead of letting it be run for me
:g: :g: :g: :g:

so welcome to RN

if you really do want to improve your life and to recover from your addiction then you are at a good place to make that wish reality
Commit , fully and completely
work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand
coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path

the path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone
we usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting and reading
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination

your reasons for change are generally solid as they are positive and about you
remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2018 11:27 pm 
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Joined: Wed Dec 13, 2017 8:21 pm
Posts: 2
Lesson 2: My Vision
This is me as an ideal man

He works hard in everything that he puts his mind to He is truthful, open and honest and says the truth no matter what the consequences may be. He listens to whomever is speaking to him and hears what is being said while not making up a response before they are done talking. He sets goals for his life and works his tail off to those goals. He does not have a facade. What people see is who he really is. He is selfless and considers others above himself, without damaging his own values. He compares himself to himself always trying to outdo and improve on his self. He is respected by others because he is respectable. He is caring to others as well as to himself. He is a man of integrity following through with whatever he has said. He leads himself as well as his family making the choices that best suits all of his family. He is a counselor learning all he can so he can help out when he is asked. He takes full responsibility for himself such as his actions and his words. He reacts intelligently under pressure. He also has good Christian friends who he hangs out with and talks with regularly.

An ideal man in marriage is fully committed to his wife. He is loving and considerate. He is totally selfless considering his wife before himself. He communicates thoroughly and completely, speaking in clarity. He admits when he is wrong and never overreacts due to being wrong. He is emotionally, spiritually, physically and sexually intimate with his wife alone. He is a protector, keeping her safe from the world. He listens to criticism and puts what is being said into consideration and practice. He is flexible and open to changes. He does date nights for no other reasons than to say that I love you. He adores her completely to where she knows to her bones that what he feels for her is the God's honest truth.

In sex the ideal man is solely committed and dedicated to his wife. He is aware of his wife's needs and gives to her expecting nothing in return. He holds her feelings and her desires above his own. He is adventurous and tries new things with her. He plans out special escapades. He communicates with her of what he likes and what he doesn't. He also lets her tell him what she likes and does not like. He gives himself and his energy only to his wife. His body belongs to her and her alone.

In hobbies the ideal man fishes with his family and friends. He builds things with wood for him and his family. He builds model cars as well. He goes on hikes and explores the wilderness. He learns about the stars and the moon. He is open to possible other ideas and hobbies.

In entertainment, the ideal man grows his Christian movie collection and invites friends over to watch them with his family. He grows his brain by playing games such as Sudoku or word finds.

In family, the ideal man treats his family with absolute respect. He is aware of his facial expressions at all times, not wrongly communicating his feelings. He listens to his stepdaughter and is there for her when she wants me to be. He leads. He implements family game nights and family time together. He allows mother daughter time. He takes part it making family decisions no matter how big or how small. He takes responsibility for his family.

In Spirituality, the ideal man reads his bible regularly and prays constantly. He starts a weekly bible study with his family. He listens to preaching and applies it to his life. He grows everyday to be more like Jesus. He makes his goal to better himself spiritually daily. He restarts bible college. He never forgets his first ministry, his wife. He prays out loud without caring or concern for what others could be thinking. He leads by the Holy Spirit and never forgets his salvation.

I want to be this ideal man. I know I can be this ideal man


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 24, 2018 8:54 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3592
Location: UK
Hello Ogre
Quote:
I want to be this ideal man. I know I can be this ideal man


for sure your target should be the best that you can be

Establishing a healthy vision for one's life is the single most important tool a person can develop in their recovery. That single vision--when backed by clarity--is capable of serving as both the beacon for change and, a means of contrasting what is healthy and what is a threat.
you have a good vision but could it be too idealistic

answer to yourself not to me


An ideal vision needs to be both general and specific, idealistic and practical.
perhaps adding in some how, when and why points might help
just a thought

use it or bin it
 

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 17, 2018 4:58 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3592
Location: UK
Hello
remember writing
Quote:
I will NOT let guilt and shame to sabotage my commitment to change. I will allow myself to change and I will not let fear keep me from changing. I am on board with everything stated. I am ready to run my life instead of letting it be run for me. I am tired of reacting to everything the way that I have always done. My life and my family are too important to let myself destroy all that have. I will face the guilt and shame and I WILL succeed over this addiction and way of thinking.


so what changed?
perhaps you are using a journal rather than the forum :pe:

please dont just give in to something that has no value and can only harm
your choice
choose wisely

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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