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 Post subject: Ace's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2018 10:31 pm 
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General Coach (Admin)

Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2008 1:49 pm
Posts: 3957
Hi Ace!

Here is your new recovery thread. If you have any questions on the lessons please email me directly as you have been doing. I will provide feedback when I feel you may need clarification or don't understand something and to make suggestions when needed and I will answer your questions here in your thread. Coach Tim may check in from time to time as well but we are the only two that have access to your thread :)


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 Post subject: Re: Al's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 8:01 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 150
Location: Ireland
Lesson 1 Exercises:
A. Three keys to establishing a successful foundation for permanent change in early recovery are:
1) actively committing yourself to change
2) not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change
3) allowing yourself time to change.
Consider where you feel you are in relation to each of these recovery keys? Briefly share your thoughts in your Recovery Thread.


I have been in and out of an addictive cycle since my teenage years and now am 45 years old. After a number of years of 'just trying harder' and 'fully and absolutely' committing myself to change and then failing, I ended up with a sense of fear that change just was not going to be possible.
Then through working the RN program a couple of years ago and with the help of a support group I started to notice real change and a belief that permanent change is possible.
I also realised that I had not actually 'fully and absolutely' committed myself to change as a part of me wanted to keep the door open to my unwanted behaviours as I was afraid that nothing else could replace the escape that they provided.
Keeping that mind set kept me stuck for years and years. I am back on RN because I recognise the role it has played in my own recovery, I am not out of the woods yet but I am many miles away from the dark place I was in the past. Years ago when I struggled everyday with compulsions, I would achieve a period of sobriety and then effectively stop all efforts at health monitoring with disastrous consequences ending up back where I started or in my head perhaps two steps further back.
When I consider Recovery as a journey and a commitment to doing something everyday to become a better man I falter less and am generally a much happier, better person. Rejoining RN is part of my ‘active commitment to that change’
1) Learning how Guilt and shame kept me stuck was ground breaking, for years I would act out, feel bad, mentally punish/berate myself, feel worse, seek relief and act out again continuing the seemingly never ending cycle.
I think I may always have a sense of shame or guilt but I now try and recognise it and how useful or not it is to me. If it helps me keep focused on my values then that is good but when it makes me feel upset or hopeless it can be a short road to seeking relief again.

2) I’ve recognised that change is inevitable, I’ll be changing for the rest of my life. I remember from a sales book I used to study the author said there is no equilibrium in a sales presentation, everything you do or say, show or do not show is either moving you towards the close or away from it. Recovery has been like that for me, when I do certain things every day, I move closer to the person that I want to be, when I do not, I do not stay where I stopped, I start to regress. That is part of the reason I have returned to RN – It has proven in the past to assist me in reaching my goals and in so doing making my poorer choices less likely.


B. Beyond an active commitment to change, another important factor in determining your ultimate success is your motivation. Look deep inside and list ten to fifteen reasons why you seek to permanently change your life.

1. I want to know that I have nothing to hide, there is nothing on my phone or search history that is recriminating, that the person I portray to be is the person I am.
2. I want to be proud of myself, I have learned over many years trying quick fixes that there is no 'quick fix' it takes work and effort - I want to be proud of myself for investing in myself to become teh best version of me that is possible.
3. I want to live in the real authentic world rather than escape into an unreal fantasy world that offers temporary relief but also long term upset, shame and dissapointment.
4. I want to have an uncluttered mind to focus more on what gives me happiness like serving others.
5. I want to drift to sleep at night thinking grateful thoughts about all the blessings that I have
6. I want to have a sense of peace within myself - a sense of knowing myself - what my strengths and weaknesses are and accepting them while working on them.
7. I want to have more time and energy for my wife and kids, they deserve they best of me and I deserve to enjoy the best of times with them.
8. I want to be able to handle any 'cravings' and put them into perspective, to act on them logically rather than emotionally. To feel that I have a choice.
9. I want to feel somewhat 'in control' of my life, obviously some things may be out of my control but those that are within my control I want to make the best decisions about.
10. I look forward to all the things life has to offer with a clear conscience, the fun days with family, the intimacy with my wife, the sharing and connecting with others.


C.It is this child who lost their way and you are the one now showing the courage to guide this child, who is you, back to health.
If you would like, share your experience with this last exercise in your thread.


I found this excercise emotional, perhaps because the picture I used does not look disimilar to my own youngest son and it reminds me that there was alot going on at home when I was at that age that made me sad and scared. I wish I could have been there for me when I was that age, like I can be for my sons now.

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Al's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2018 5:28 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 150
Location: Ireland
My practical Vision for a healthy life.

To be content in my own skin, to feel at ease that I am to a large degree in control of my destiny. I want to have an open and honest relationship with my wife where she feels valued and understood.
I want to be the best Dad that I can be by being patient, considerate, understanding and willing to accept that parenting is a learning process but there are proven guidelines that make it easier for all involved.
I want to take pleasure in my career, to feel that I am contributing to society and being well rewarded for it financially and otherwise.
I want to be fit and healthy, to use my body to enjoy life walks, hikes, running etc.
I want to be open to understanding myself more, without judging and berating myself for what I have not done or what I do not have. I want to feel a sense of connection with a greater power than myself. I am not particularly religious but I know that there is alot in the world and my mind that I or no one else understands.

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Al's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2018 6:27 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 150
Location: Ireland
Lesson 3:
Values extracted (The first extracted from my values the second list effectively a copy of Jons as everything on it is a value I would like!)
Sharing my true self with the world around me
Having nothing to hide
Knowing that what I sow I often reap
Honesty – what I say and do are real
Trust – be trustworthy, no lies, deception
Be brave enough to admit when I have made mistakes
Making my wife and kids feel special, loved, supported, protected, safe
Creating happy memories for my kids to cherish, playing in the garden, laughing, that bond of family and friendship, trying to understand and be patient with a 4 year old, 7 year old, 12 year old, 18year old, 21 year old, etc.
I understand how important money is – I want to be able to provide for myself, my family and others who need it more than me
I want to save for the future, a ‘rainy day’ fund in case any of the above ever need it – I will be prepared
Feeling good about how I spend my time at work – being productive, helping others and being rewarded
Being without pain, feeling strong and healthy, fit and able, appreciative of the wonderful body that I have been given, looking after it through exercise and nutrition
Learning more about mind and body health to be able to share that message, from healthy meal preparation to meditation
The outdoors, the feeling of oxygen coursing through my lungs and blood pumping to my muscles as I enjoy the beauty of the world, lakes, mountains etc.
Slow down and listen to yourself, your thoughts – what is going on – what is moving me, motivating me/ Is it possible to influence that? Record it and act on it
Recognising that there is ultimately a power in the Universe greater than myself or my understanding that is generally good – try and connect with it
To feel that everything will be alright

Living with integrity
Living with compassion

Strengthening my role as a Husband
Strengthening my role as a son
Strengthening my role as a brother to
Strengthening my role as a close friend to (add friend’s name here)
Strengthening my role as a coworker
Being an inspiration to others
Being dedicated
Showing appreciation towards others
Being tenacious in my pursuits
Being charitable, giving
Developing intellectual depth
Expressing spirituality in my day-to-day life
Enhancing my spiritual awareness
Integrating religion into my day-to-day life
Bringing joy to others
Providing quality in my work
Establishing competence in my field
Being respected as a professional by others
Being playful
Staying active
Being dependable
Being reliable
Working as part of a team
Honesty
Humbleness
Sense of humor
Sense of responsibility
Being considerate of others
Being considerate of myself
Putting other’s needs before my own
Taking care of myself
Being a role model for my family
Being a role model for others
Living an exciting life
Living an adventurous life
Loving others
Being loved by others
Being challenged; overcoming challenges
Competition
Developing emotional maturity
Risk-taking (danger)
Pursuing a career change
Creativity
Striving for excellence
Establishing financial freedom
Experiencing fatherhood
Adopting a child
Establishing a partnership w/someone
Overcoming/surviving personal struggles
Physical health
Physical beauty
Being a teacher/mentor
Physical pleasure
Sexual intimacy
Sexual contact
Experiencing euphoria
Feeling sexually desired
Feeling appreciated
Feeling masculine
Feeling feminine
Feeling empowered
Passionate about life
Being recognized as an expert in my field
World-wide recognition
Developing sustained friendships
Encouraging my wife's independence
Being validated by others
Being respected
Being judged trustworthy
Feeling unconditional love
Indulging in creative inspiration, development
Developing patience
Living a humble life
Sharing my true self with the world around me
Nurturing children’s creativity/maturation
Developing superficial friendships
Being known as reliable
Wisdom
Connected to my own feelings
Being identified by others as charming and warm
Being a survivor
Companionship
Resourcefulness
Appreciating natural beauty/nature
Integrity
Connecting to purpose, meaning of life
Establishing my legacy
Organization
Instilling healthy values in my kids
Teaching appreciation for music, art, film
Adaptability
Financial stability
Personal independence
Feeling needed, desired, loved by others
Power
Control
Experiencing uniqueness
Curiosity
Experiencing the forbidden
Avoiding conflict
Improving my social interactions
Being a leader
Vulnerability
Sacrificing for others
Fidelity
Walking the same path as equals
Sexual intimacy
Physical attraction/Beauty
Masculinity
Building things
Intellectual growth, debate, communication
Communicating feelings
Experienced in conflict resolution
Taking care of others in need
Feeling happy and content
Pressure to accomplish
Accepting responsibility for living my life
Be known as truthful and honest
Sense of accomplishment
Feeling challenged
Friendship
Forgiveness
Realistic
Personal growth, development
Selflessness/Altruism
Respecting Mother Earth
Open-minded to the beliefs and values of others, tolerance
Self-discipline
Raising a healthy child
Guiding, teaching, role modeling for my children

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Al's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2018 6:32 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 150
Location: Ireland
2) Consider the 'dark side' of your decision-making. The compulsive behavior. The sexual behavior. Take some time to extract the values that went into those behaviors, and list them as well.

Excitement
Escape
Exhiliration
Physical Arousal
Spontaneity
Curiosity
Shame
Dissapointment
Regret
Self Flagellation
Fear

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Al's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2018 6:47 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 150
Location: Ireland
Lesson 4 Exercises:

Prioritised Values
1.Sharing my true self with the world around me
2.Having nothing to hide
3.Honesty – what I say and do are real
4. Making my wife and kids feel special, loved, supported, protected, safe
5.Trust – be trustworthy, no lies, deception
6. Being without pain, feeling strong and healthy, fit and able, appreciative of the wonderful body that I have been given, looking after it through exercise and nutrition
7.Be brave enough to admit when I have made mistakes
8. Creating happy memories for my kids to cherish, playing in the garden, laughing, that bond of family and friendship, trying to understand and be patient with a 4 year old, 7 year old, 12 year old, 18year old, 21 year old, etc.
9.I understand how important money is – I want to be able to provide for myself, my family and others who need it more than me
10.I want to save for the future, a ‘rainy day’ fund in case any of the above ever need it – I will be prepared
11.Feeling good about how I spend my time at work – being productive, helping others and being rewarded
Learning more about mind and body health to be able to share that message, from healthy meal preparation to meditation
The outdoors, the feeling of oxygen coursing through my lungs and blood pumping to my muscles as I enjoy the beauty of the world, lakes, mountains etc.
Slow down and listen to yourself, your thoughts – what is going on – what is moving me, motivating me/ Is it possible to influence that? Record it and act on it
Recognising that there is ultimately a power in the Universe greater than myself or my understanding that is generally good – try and connect with it
To feel that everything will be alright
Living with integrity
Living with compassion
Strengthening my role as a Husband
Strengthening my role as a son
Strengthening my role as a brother
Strengthening my role as a close friend to
Strengthening my role as a coworker
Being an inspiration to others
Being dedicated
Showing appreciation towards others
Being tenacious in my pursuits
Being charitable, giving
Developing intellectual depth
Expressing spirituality in my day-to-day life
Enhancing my spiritual awareness
Integrating religion into my day-to-day life
Bringing joy to others
Providing quality in my work
Establishing competence in my field
Being respected as a professional by others
Being playful
Staying active
Being dependable
Being reliable
Working as part of a team
Honesty
Humbleness
Sense of humor
Sense of responsibility
Being considerate of others
Being considerate of myself
Putting other’s needs before my own
Taking care of myself
Being a role model for my family
Being a role model for others
Living an exciting life
Living an adventurous life
Loving others
Being loved by others
Being challenged; overcoming challenges
Competition
Developing emotional maturity
Risk-taking (danger)
Pursuing a career change
Creativity
Striving for excellence
Establishing financial freedom
Experiencing fatherhood
Adopting a child
Establishing a partnership w/someone
Overcoming/surviving personal struggles
Physical health
Physical beauty
Being a teacher/mentor
Physical pleasure
Sexual intimacy
Sexual contact
Experiencing euphoria
Feeling sexually desired
Feeling appreciated
Feeling masculine
Feeling feminine
Feeling empowered
Passionate about life
Being recognized as an expert in my field
World-wide recognition
Developing sustained friendships
Encouraging my wife's independence
Being validated by others
Being respected
Being judged trustworthy
Feeling unconditional love
Indulging in creative inspiration, development
Developing patience
Living a humble life
Sharing my true self with the world around me
Nurturing children’s creativity/maturation
Developing superficial friendships
Being known as reliable
Wisdom
Connected to my own feelings
Being identified by others as charming and warm
Being a survivor
Companionship
Resourcefulness
Appreciating natural beauty/nature
Integrity
Connecting to purpose, meaning of life
Establishing my legacy
Organization
Instilling healthy values in my kids
Teaching appreciation for music, art, film
Adaptability
Financial stability
Personal independence
Feeling needed, desired, loved by others
Power
Control
Experiencing uniqueness
Curiosity
Experiencing the forbidden
Avoiding conflict
Improving my social interactions
Being a leader
Vulnerability
Sacrificing for others
Fidelity
Walking the same path as equals
Sexual intimacy
Physical attraction/Beauty
Masculinity
Building things
Intellectual growth, debate, communication
Communicating feelings
Experienced in conflict resolution
Taking care of others in need
Feeling happy and content
Pressure to accomplish
Accepting responsibility for living my life
Be known as truthful and honest
Sense of accomplishment
Feeling challenged
Friendship
Forgiveness
Realistic
Personal growth, development
Selflessness/Altruism
Respecting Mother Earth
Open-minded to the beliefs and values of others, tolerance
Self-discipline
Raising a healthy child
Guiding, teaching, role modeling for my children

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Al's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2018 7:13 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 150
Location: Ireland
Lesson 5 Exercises:

Top 15 Values:

1.Living with Integrity and honesty, what I say and do are congruent.
2. Making my wife and kids feel special, loved, supported, protected, safe.
3.Being without pain, feeling strong and healthy, fit and able, appreciative of the wonderful body and mind that I have been given, looking after it through exercise and nutrition
4. Creating happy memories for my kids to cherish, playing in the garden, laughing, that bond of family and friendship, trying to understand and be patient with a 4 year old, 7 year old, 12 year old, 18year old, 21 year old, etc.
5.I understand how important money is – I want to be able to provide for myself, my family and others who need it more than me – Financial Independence by establishing competence in my field
6.Being dependable and reliable– doing what I say I’ll do, when I say I’ll do it
7.Taking care of myself
8.Being a role model for my family and instilling healthy values in my kids
9.Developing emotional maturity
10.Sharing my true self with the world around me
11.Appreciating natural beauty/nature
12.Connecting to purpose, meaning of life
13.Fidelity
14.Feeling happy and content
15.Sense of accomplishment

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Al's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2018 3:20 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 150
Location: Ireland
Lesson 6 - Develop Proaction plans

Appreciating natural Beauty/ Nature

• Being grateful each day for my surroundings, its not too hot, not too cold, there is always something in nature to be grateful for.
• Notice the things in my environment that are beautiful and give me joy, the birds singing in the morning, the heat from the suns rays on my body, the rustling of the trees and wind in winter, the smell of the dew in the morning.
• Actively seek out these experiences in nature, if I don't look for them I won't see them!
• Encourage my family to enjoy walks in nature or beside the beach and breathe in its beauty, make sure that I make a conscious decision to be outside in nature at least once a week (playing football with my sons) is a perfect example.
• Schedule a walk with my wife each week - it can double as 'us time' and an opportunity to appreciate nature and all it has to offer.
• Schedule day trips each Summer to picturesque gardens, and lakes that invigorate and provide a sense of awe and appreciation.

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Al's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2018 3:41 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 150
Location: Ireland
Lesson 6

Developing Simple Pro action plans:
Taking Care of Myself:

• Recognising that I deserve to be ‘taken care of’ to be treated with respect and caring, a supported healthy mind and body shall serve me well in the long (and short!) term
Use a daily diary to observe my thoughts and record what I have learned to review each day.
• Recognise the power of my mind, attempt to cultivate the positive within it through meditation, positive self talk and sometimes just stopping and listening to myself – what is my inner dialogue? Is it supportive? Destructive? Lazy? Opportunistic? Afraid? Worried?
• Exercising makes me feel better. Being able to run a short distance or carry something heavy a distance without being out of breath makes me feel healthy, the opposite is that I feel unfit, in danger of a heart attack and my mind wanders to…….what if I have a stroke? Why am I so lazy? Why have I not scheduled and kept time for myself to exercise? How have I left myself get to this fat, unhealthy, lazy lump?
• Eating fresh, wholesome, nutritious foods fills me with energy and a desire for more of the same, I feel ‘lighter’ and in better mood – I feel cleaner and less stodgy or unhealthy.
When I eat plants and fruits I think of the anti oxidants coursing through my gut and body fighting free radicals keeping me healthier and less like to suffer illness and disease.
When I eat processed foods in abundance I think of the hydrogenated fats accumulating in my arteries increasing the risk of stroke or Alzheimers etc.
EVERY book I know that is written about recovering from major illness, whether it be Cancer or depression, Arthritis or Psoriasis suggests increasing fresh water, and natural plant based foods while giving up processed, sugary junk. The research has already been done for me – it’s a case of making these life choices easier.
For example – prepare my breakfast the night before, that way I am likely to choose the healthier option straight away.
A point to remember is that when I EXERCISE I naturally crave healthy foods rather than crisps and junk, so excercising regularly has a dual benefit of helping me make better food choices!

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Al's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2018 8:14 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 150
Location: Ireland
Lesson 7 Exercise:
Take the next week (start today) to develop initial action plans for the remaining 'top priority' values

Making my wife feel special, loved, protected, supported and safe.

Make an effort everyday to reach out to her to let her know that she is special to me.
Ask her is there anything that I can help her with to make her day/ week easier.
Assure her that when she asks about her health that she will be ok, everyone feels ill sometimes and she is a million miles away from where she was, just keep positive, keep moving forward.
Encourage her to take exercise and compliment her on the improvements in her strength and physique as she often looks for that assurance.
“You are doing great” – “You are definitely losing weight” – “You are starting to look much stronger” etc.
Invite her on a weekly walk, just the two of us, No kids to interrupt and share an activity together like we used to do when we started going out together.
Be patient, everything that I do will not please her and everything that she does will not please me but overall we agree and get on very, very well, that is priceless. Recognise that the investment in a caring, loving relationship is perhaps the greatest investment that I can ever make.
Be grateful for that fact and when we don’t agree, try and see it from her point of view, take a deep breath and a step back and try and come to a compromise that we are both happy with.
Compliment her on enforcing rules with the kids which is not easy for her but she tries, compliment and applaud that so that it is noticed.
Physical – Touch, just holding hands or a hug can go along way in saying I love you. Make time to tell her that she looks beautiful in a particular outfit, the look on her face is worth it.
Make a goal to initiate contact every day.

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Al's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2018 8:24 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 150
Location: Ireland
Value Action plan:

Making my kids feel special, loved, supported, protected, safe.


Have patience, remember that they do not see or understand things the way that I do as an adult.
Its my job to teach them right from wrong but how I do that can be tricky based on my own beliefs and my wifes about discipline.
Try to take a deep breath and instill calm, I am the adult so I am the one who should be in control of my emotions, speak calmly and directly, ask teh question to esnure that the situation is understood "do you remember when we agreed to come to the table when Mommy asked you?" Can you try and come quickly so that Mommy and Daddy don't get upset?
Remember to Thanks them when they behave well.
Seek occasions to praise them "Well done for doing that" "that is a good idea".....etc.
Spend quality time with them, kick a football, listen to their stories, keep teh dialogue open and it will be easier to keep open when they are teenagers and going through the difficult teenage years, I want to be the Dad that they can talk to and confide in.
Seek occasions for fun things to do with them, these are the fun things that life is made of - creating happy memories.

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Al's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2018 6:47 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 150
Location: Ireland
Values action plan contd
3.Being without pain, feeling strong and healthy, fit and able, appreciative of the wonderful body and mind that I have been given, looking after it through exercise and nutrition

I’ve had long standing shoulder pain and know that doing certain exercises and stretches EVERY day reduces the pain, disciplining myself to do them is kind of like disciplining myself to do recovery work, when I feel a sense of accomplishment I take my foot of the gas and often experience a relapse of behaviours or pain!
Also when exercising regularly I feel better in myself and seek nourishment with healthier meal and snack choices.
At 45 years of age I recognise the things that my body used to be able to do/ perform that can npo longer or at least without restriction and much more risk of injury or pain, I work with lder people and have seen first hand how their bodies have let them down, I wonder how much THEY let their bodies down with poor exercise and nutrition choices.
I understand that no matter how well you exercise and eat, we are all subject to our individual genes and life circumstances but certainly I have the knowledge to make the better short and long term choices.
• Commit to and RECORD exercising at least x4 times p week, my new career has given me the opportunity to design a healthy exercise program for myself.
• Use my exercise journal to record EXACTLY what I have done and when I have done it, how I felt etc. Information is Power!
• The easiest meal of the day to prepare is a breakfast smoothie, coconut milk, spinach, cucumber and a banana with a scoop of protein hits all my micros! Plenty of fluids and building materials.
• Resist the temptation to feel guilty about taking time to exercise, it is a VERY good investment.
• Look for opportunities to kick a ball or be active with the boys and appreciate that I still can! Same with walks with my wife and family.

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Al's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2018 9:10 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 150
Location: Ireland
Values Action plans contd:

5. I understand how important money is – I want to be able to provide for myself, my family and others who need it more than me – Financial Independence by establishing competence in my field

I have just left the protection of a guaranteed income working for a large national chain where I was in my opinion very well renumerated. That has given me the ability to take 6mths off to build my own business without pay and 2 mths in, things are going reasonably well but the next few weeks in particular will have a big impact on the level of success of this venture.

I have found it very easy to waste time when I no longer HAVE TO sit in an office 9 hours per day meeting clients booked in by the company I worked for. Now, no one comes in UNLESS I get out there and make efforts to get them in!
I know that I can do it and I also know that I need a plan and to keep to it, I need to be specific.
Action Plan:
• Ensure that I am sitting at my desk each morning no later than 8am with a list of tasks needed to be completed.
• I must write out a list of realistic goals for my first year, how many clients I expect to see, how may units I expect to sell, how much money I expect to earn, how much time I expect to devote.
• I need to ensure that I have all documents/ paperwork saved correctly for audit/ book keeping as that has been a weak point of mine.
• I need to review each week what was accomplished and what more needs to be done to reach my goals.
• Review household bills, where are we able to save money? Enjoy the feeling of earning more than am spending.

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Al's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2018 9:18 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 150
Location: Ireland
Creating Action plans for Values:
4. Creating happy memories for my kids to cherish, playing in the garden, laughing, that bond of family and friendship, trying to understand and be patient with a 4 year old, 7 year old, 12 year old, 18year old, 21 year old, etc.
Again this is where daily/ weekly planning may help me, planning for events like next weeks holiday. Ensure that there are specific time blocks devoted to just spending time with the kids/family.
Try and think of ways to make playing fun and rewarding for all involved.
Ensure to give each child their own time and attention, make sure that they know that they are loved and supported by words and action.
Agree with my wife what is reasonable and acceptable behaviour so that there is clear understanding of parameters to prevent upset, draw up a list of ‘house rules’ so everyone knows what is expected of them. For example playing games is a great family bonding time after dinner but often causes upset when playtime is directly preceeds sleep time!

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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 Post subject: Re: Al's Recovery Forum
PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2018 9:42 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:50 am
Posts: 150
Location: Ireland
6.Being dependable and reliable– doing what I say I’ll do, when I say I’ll do it

Not doing the above makes me feel lazy, like a waster and unreliable.
Doing it makes me feel good about myself which in turn builds my self esteem which in turn means I am less likely to seek escape in unwanted behaviours but to invest my energy in pursuits that give me joy and fulfilment.
Again, this is where a diary comes in – recognising that not doing these things causes me stress and that doing them is a value of mine is a good thing, being able to monitor and tick them off my list is a positive step.
So example, if my wife asks me to do something – give a realistic time frame of when I can get it started and then either write it immediately in my phone or into my daily journal.
If it can’t be done then let her know so there is no confusion and I am keeping to my word.

_________________
"Don't judge each day by the Harvest that you reap but by the seeds that you plant"
"If you do not succeed, make sure it is not because you did'nt try hard enough"


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