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PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 11:14 am 
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Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 4:43 am
Posts: 17
Lesson 1

A

1. I am actively committed to change. I will put my time, effort and commitment to change my lifestyle.
2. I won’t allow guilt and shame to sabotage my commitment. Pornography use has bought guilt and shame in me. I won’t allow those to
stop me from my growth.
3. Establishing new lifestyle takes time and commitment. I’m ready for that.


B

1. I want to be healthy, both physically and mentally.
2. I want to have good relationship and co-operation with my family members.
3. I want to excel in my academia.
4. I want to commit myself and work hard for my career.
5. I want to have good and fun relationship with my friends.
6. I want to be more social and outgoing.
7. I want to expand my friend circles.
8. I want to build relationship with real girls, not digital ones.
9. I want to optimize my free time to build new skills.
10. I want to get disciplined through executable habits and schedules.


C

I found my childhood photograph and talked with the child in it for more than 20 minutes. When I looked into the eyes, it moved me. I was staring in child’s eyes for few minutes, but things go so emotional and intense that I couldn’t stare continuously.
Time and again, I put that photo aside because the look in the child’s eyes got me good. I talked with the child about life in general and I could tell he seemed unhappy about the way my life had been going. So I put aside my tears and I said him ,” I know. But it doesn’t always have to be this way.” I made a promise to the child that I will win it for myself and for him.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2018 8:35 am 
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Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 5:29 am
Posts: 380
Hi FWI and welcome to RN.

Your reasons for change are sound and are about you - you are at a good place to make that wish a reality. Commit , fully and completely. Work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand. Coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path.
Quote:
So I put aside my tears and I said him ,” I know. But it doesn’t always have to be this way.” I made a promise to the child that I will win it for myself and for him.

You are quite right and you have the tools and opportunity now to deliver on that promise.

Good luck and I look forward to monitoring your progress.

_________________
L2R

A clean life; a clear conscience


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 11:27 pm 
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Posts: 17
Thanks learningtorun for your feedback. I will definitely keep my promise with the child.

Lesson -2

I envision myself to be dedicated and consistent person. From this moment to the day I die, I want to thrive towards various dimensions of my life.
1. Self: I want to love myself and explore more about myself. I want to be open and honest with myself. Spirituality is one of my top
priorities. I want to build my life around schedules and habits.
2. Family: I want to develop supportive relationship with my family. I want to be a responsible person and make my family proud.
3. Academics and Career: I want to excel at my academics. I want to develop my self-respect through achievement. Regarding my career, I
want to engage in work that is financially rewarding, challenging and capable of generating fulfillment.
4. Friends and Social Life: I want to enjoy with my friends. At the same time, I want to personally grow with my peers by engaging in
something productive. I want to make friends with people who love challenges. I want to be more outgoing. I want to be kind, humble
and fun in social settings. I also want to be observant so that I am not taken advantage of.
5. Learning: I want to devote my life in learning new things. I want to achieve personal growth through constant learning. Harnessing my
speaking and writing skills is one of my top priorities. I also want to entertain opposing point of view. I want to constantly get out of my
comfort zone.
6. Addiction**: I want to avoid unnecessary addiction that can destroy my life. I would do that by learning and applying emotional and
life management skills. Pornography, Drugs and Alcohol addiction is something I want to get away from.
7. Relationship**: I want to be in relationship with a woman who is compatible with me, whose personality resembles mine and who share
similar visions and goals.
8.Others: I want to make my life more dynamic. Once I am stable enough, I want to go to various places around the world. I want to spend
weekends and holidays with my family and friends and have fun.

**Note:
I used to think that getting rid of pornography addiction and deciding to never watch it is a restriction. But as I read lesson 2, I realized
that it is the pornography that was restricting me. Now that I have decided to quit pornography for good, I have opened up door for
various possibilities. It’s no longer a restriction to me. In fact, it’s a new opportunity.
When I was doing above exercise, I could envision various dimensions of my life. But the relationship part was quite hard for me. Since I
have never been with a woman and have faced some rejections in the past, I just don’t know what to do about it. It’s not that I am afraid
of women, but I just can’t think of what I should imagine. One thing I know is I like people who are compatible with me. And based on
that fact alone, I developed the above vision on relationship category. Hopefully, once I become social and outgoing, I would meet and
interact with lots of people and get my answer.


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2018 8:53 am 
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Posts: 17
Lesson -3


List of Values


Self-Love
Taking care of myself
Self respect
Spirituality
Optimum Physical and Mental Health
Gratitude
Appreciating Nature
Being Dedicated and Consistent through Daily Schedules
Compassionate and forgiving to myself and others
Overcoming personal struggles
Connected to my own feelings
Strengthening the role as Son
Humbleness
Sense of responsibility
Improving my social Interaction
Outgoing
Friendly
Intellectual growth
Debate, communication and Networking
Active Listener
Negotiable
Avoiding Conflict
Presentable
Keeping an eye on People and surrounding(Watchful)
Articulate in Speech
Communicating my opinions
Derive esteem through personal achievement
Tolerant of opposing view and even learn something from it
Showing appreciation to others
Getting out of comfort zone
Developing intellectual depth
Establishing competence in my field
Competitive
Being challenged and Overcoming Challenges
Learning new skills
Experimental
Able to Research
Financial Stability
Personal Growth and development
Emotional Maturity and management
Self- Disciplined
Adventurous
Finding someone Compatible
Love and Compassion to compatible person
Sexual Pleasure
Establishing partnership with someone


Dark Side Values:


Instant Gratification
Fantasy
Little Interaction with women
Laziness to go out
Pride
Shame
Curiosity
Low self-esteem
Lack of self-respect
Novice
Hopelessness
Wasting my time
Escapism
Insecurity


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2018 7:57 am 
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Posts: 17
Lesson -4


My prioritized value list:

1. Taking care of myself.
2. Connected to my own feelings
3. Dedication and Consistency through Daily schedules.
4. Emotional Maturity and management
5. Intellectual growth
6. Establishing competence in my field
7. Getting out of comfort zone
8. Learning new skills
9. Develop esteem through personal achievement
10. Sense of responsibility
11. Improving my social interaction
12. Communication and Networking
13. Outgoing
14. Keeping an eye on people and surrounding
15. Love and compassion to Compatible person


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2018 10:20 pm 
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Posts: 17
Lesson -5

After going through the lesson and self-reflection, I have made couple of changes to this list.

My prioritized value list:

1. Taking care of myself.
2. Connected to my own feelings
3. Dedication and Consistency through Daily schedules.
4. Emotional Maturity and management
5. Intellectual growth
6. Establishing competence in my field
7. Getting out of comfort zone
8. Learning new skills
9. Competition(with Self and others )
10. Sense of responsibility
11. Improving my social interaction
12. Financial Growth and Stability
13. Outgoing
14. Keeping an eye on people and surrounding
15. Love and compassion to Compatible person

The above list reflects the person I'm committing myself to becoming.
The above list has helped me and will help me on making major life decisions.
The above list is realistic and can be used on a day to day basis.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2018 11:14 pm 
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Posts: 17
Lesson -6


Proactive Action Plans – I

Dedication and Consistency through daily schedules
Waking up at the same time everyday
Doing morning rituals(Meditation, Exercise, etc)
No social media as soon as you wake up or 1-1.5 hrs before sleep
Build habits one at a time
Think of habits as a chance of growth, not something that restrains you
Don’t beat yourself up if you fail to keep up sometimes. But this should not be an excuse. Give your best.

Outgoing
Getting out of your house at least once in a day.
Calling your friends on free time to hangout.
Going out on weekends or on holidays for fun or on social clubs.
Once you decide to go out, social anxiety will take care of itself


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2018 10:31 pm 
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Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2018 4:43 am
Posts: 17
Lesson 7

Proactive Action Plans – II


Taking care of myself
Following daily schedules mentioned above(meditate, exercise etc)
Drinking plenty of water and eating Healthy foods.
Trimming you hair and beard at regular interval.
Developing good personal Hygiene overall.

Connected to my own feelings
Developing a habit of daily journal.
Savoring at least 1 moment a day.
Being receptive of inner voice.
In tense situation, pausing and watching your emotions before reacting.
Finding some hobby to work on and generate fulfillment.

Emotional Maturity and Management
Becoming aware of your emotions by watching it carefully.
Minimizing instant gratification (Social media and others except for productive purposes)
Making value based decisions, not emotional ones.
Staying away from any form of addictions through addiction related knowledge and instead investing in productive habits.

Intellectual Growth
Developing reading habits (books and articles)
Having an open mind regarding different ideas as well as being critical of things to some extent.
Listening to lectures, podcasts, etc of knowledgeable people at least once a week.
Learning indoor games, puzzles.

Establishing competence on my field
Reading and watching various materials related to my field.
Writing and reading articles and research paper regarding my field.
Actively searching on opportunities, threats and general trends.
Allocating specific time weekly on this pursuit.

Learning new Skills
Dedicating specific hours per week in new skill development.
Learning 2 new skills every 3 months(conditions may apply)
Having active feedback system to check my progress.
Integrating newly developed skills to enhance your personality and career.
Applying newly learned skills in real life and settings.

Sense of responsibility
Making decisions (small or big) and taking responsibility for it.
Being a responsible member of family by sharing works.
Being a responsible member of society by doing volunteer works occasionally.

Financial stability and Growth
Looking around for ways to earn money.
Taking chances that you have stumbled upon.
Finding and working on a stable source of income.
After finding a stable income, executing business if you have any.

Improving my social Interaction
Becoming more outgoing and meeting new people.
Initiating conversations with people.
Maintaining good eye contact.
Smiling often.
Actively listening to what people have to say.
Acting kindly to strangers.
Having general knowledge about things and current affairs.
Showing genuine interest in person I’m talking to.
Being observant of the way people behave and act. (not being too creepy though)
Improving body language.
Smelling good.

Love and Compassion to Compatible person
Being friends with women in general.
Admiring beauty and leave it as it is instead of falling in love.
Interacting with women instead of engaging in a fantasy.
Not being too lustful. See women as what they are.
Investing your feelings and time with woman only if she shows some interest and is compatible. (Not exactly same as me though)


Last edited by firewaterice on Sat Dec 01, 2018 12:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2018 12:02 am 
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Posts: 17
Lesson -10

From this moment, I will take responsibility for my decisions and consequences that follow.

IV.
I had some pornography in my computer. I deleted all of them before I started this recovery workshop.

V.
Classmates and some girls I know: Stare at their body parts and later use it to fantasize and masturbate.

VI.
Laptop: To surf the porn and download it.
Mobile: To watch the porn and jerk off to it.
Bed: Watching porn in mobile and laptop and sometimes fantasizing.
You tube: Acted as a trigger and later I would binge on porn sites.
Bath: To fantasize about girls I personally know and masturbate.
Face book: Check out facebook pics of some girls.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 01, 2018 1:05 am 
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Lesson 11:

After reading Chapter 11, I figured that I had following compulsive behavior:
1.Masturbation
2.Pornography
3.Fantasy
4.Romantic Delusions: Regarding this, I fantasize about romantic relationship with women. But I don’t actively pursue them. Despite that, there are some characteristics that match with mine such as Instant intimacy with a woman when it had just been couple of times we talked, Fear of rejection, lack of interpersonal skills, and feeling of “not being understood.”

I thought it was just pornography and masturbation for me. But, I realized I do engage in fantasy a lot, sexual and well as non-sexual.

I knew I had these problems before I did this assessment. That’s why I decided to go through this workshop in the first place. But information mentioned in this chapter was really useful for me because the triggers, elements associated with behavior matched well with my behavior. It gave me more awareness and knowledge about my compulsive behavior.

Thanks a lot for this 


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 7:44 am 
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Lesson 12:

It looks like I fall into group 4.
It is true that I follow this workshop, with sincerity, passion and with the hope that this workshop is certainly going to have impact in my life. While going through lesson, I write down some important points mentioned there in my notebook too. But it sops there. It felt that I actually put some effort. But I never looked back at the points I had written. I have tried to learn everything in the lesson, but it seemed “only in appearance, not in substance”.
When I wrote all the values and pro active action plans genuinely, I thought there’s no need to worry anymore. I don’t need to do anything else because the thing will take care of itself.
But it seems that I am hardly following my action plan and acting out according to my values. As a matter of fact, I don’t completely remember my values at all. I really need to look previous lessons so I don’t lose my track. Regarding following proactive action plans properly, I planned to suspend it until I complete Health Monitoring I chapter. I thought to myself, “Won’t it be easy to follow my action plans after I’m done with Health monitoring? Then I would know what I need to do throughout the day.” But now I realize that it is similar to procrastination. I tend to look at lessons with relation to how interesting it is.
Regarding my position in relation to unhealthy recovery, I have to make following points:

1. Their motivation for recovery comes from an attempt to appease others
I always have this feeling of me feeling superior to others once I get out of this addiction and gain some self-control. It might sound absurd, but I sometimes imagine myself giving lectures about how to have self-control and all, even while reading lessons. It feels to me sometimes that I am deciding to get out of addiction just because I want to brag about my success story on self-discipline to others. This sometimes makes me question, “Am I really doing this for me?” I know that I’m doing this for me. But then again, “Is doing this for me my 1st priority?”

2. They actively prepare their environment for successful acting out by: setting a preliminary foundation for excuses/alibi
I have mentioned this in vision lesson to about me having some difficulty in relationship dimension of my life. I am still a virgin and I’m not good at approaching and talking with women. I am confident on other dimensions of my life, but this part had me worried for quite a while now. I have decided to get away from pornography and masturbation. I’m not good around women. And where I am from, girls play hard to get. (collectivist culture ). This got me thinking how about I get myself a prostitute after I am free from this addiction. I have had this thought quite a few times. But in lesson 11, I learned the damages from prostitution and vast amount of guilt and shame it brings with it. Then I am with the question, “How do I fulfill my sexual desires at all?”
This is indeed a huge crisis for me. And I know there’s only one way out- Get out and approach women. But deep down, I have this self-doubt regarding my ability to get women. And I’m very well aware of the ability of this doubt to grow big and get me on to the same rabbit hole(addiction) I so desperately want to get out from. I really need to do something about this self-doubt. I can already imagine its consequences.


3. They believe that they are defective in the sense that their emotions, urges, impulses, etc. are experienced with much more intensity than "normal people".
I do believe that I’m high in neuroticism(emotional instability). Obviously all people have anxiety, negative thoughts, but I sincerely believe that I suffer from it more than the people around me.
Sometimes I think to myself, “What if I was emotionally composed? Wouldn’t I have achieved so much more? ” This line of thought, as far as I can remember, I had since at least 5.5 years. It seems odd to me, why am I like this. Does it have to do with my biology? Isn’t it something I can’t change? Then again, I know I can be emotionally stable if I work for it enough but sometimes I really wish I were not like this.

4. They consistently measure the success of their recovery through abstinence, rather than emotional stability and personal satisfaction.
I’m not sure about this now. But when I was following NoFap guidelines, I had that thought. In my opinion, people on that group (including me some months ago) are obsessed with number of days, counter etc. Through this workshop, I am of the opinion that “Abstinence is not recovery.” Because people who had great counters on that group, some of them more than a year, still relapsed. We should measure recovery through emotional stability and personal satisfaction. That’s great way to think about it.
Sometimes we have emotional imbalance as a withdrawal effect of addiction I think. But in the long run, we would be emotionally stable. I hope that’s the case because there was one time when I relapsed because I had so much anxiety going on. Partly, anxiety was a result of other problems I had been going through at that moment. But as soon as I relapsed, I was happy again. But some weeks later, the guilt and shame was back. If I had to go through negative feelings on either of option, why would I not choose recovery over pornography and masturbation? On the one hand, you have possibility of emotional stability and maturity. But on the other, you have more negative feelings, shame and guilt.
It’s such an easy option and I wonder why we can’t choose this simple. From my experience, I think that’s because the path to recovery is not straight. It’s hell tough path to walk on. But if we keep on walking, I believe we can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

5. They often experience extreme emotions in relation to acting out — extreme guilt, extreme shame, depression, anger, hatred.
Yeah. That was the case when I was doing NoFap challenge. After you relapsed, You have that guilt and shame feeling until you are aroused again. And after you jerk off, the guilt and shame arises and so on. It’s like you are stuck on a loop.

6. They tend to hyper analyze their actions, thoughts and feelings.
Again that is related to point 3. Even if some small things happen, I tend to make it like a huge deal. I really need to chill the fuck out sometimes. I will try my best. And hopefully, as the lesson progresses, I would learn more on this matter.

7. They continue to identify themselves with their addiction and cannot imagine a life without such an association.

To be honest, I have no idea regarding this. I don’t know which category I fall into. But one thing that I know is unless I actually act on my action plans and follow it genuinely, I would most certainly associate myself with addiction for remainder of my life.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 8:57 am 
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Joined: Tue Oct 17, 2017 11:22 am
Posts: 293
FWI,

The honesty in your response to Lesson 12 is incredibly inspiring. It is clear that this lesson lead to many breakthroughs--you are literally evolving your brain and mindset.

In regards to this:
Quote:
This is indeed a huge crisis for me. And I know there’s only one way out- Get out and approach women. But deep down, I have this self-doubt regarding my ability to get women. And I’m very well aware of the ability of this doubt to grow big and get me on to the same rabbit hole(addiction) I so desperately want to get out from. I really need to do something about this self-doubt. I can already imagine its consequences.

Let's not beat yourself up over this--as you can imagine doing so will only progress the cycle of guilt/shame ->acting out -> guilt shame -> etc. FWI, be kind to yourself. By being here you are doing something. Not sure if you've ever thought about this before, but you do not have to believe every thought that comes into your brain.
Quote:
I’m not good around women.

You get to CHOOSE if you're going to believe it. You CHOOSE if you're going to act on it. And for a long time many addicts have been believing "deficiency stories" about ourselves.. and we choose to act out to reinforce those stories. It is, in the end, your choice. And in that is empowerment!
Quote:
Then again, I know I can be emotionally stable if I work for it enough but sometimes I really wish I were not like this.

To admit that we are emotionally immature is difficult... sometimes it brings on shame and guilt. But by saying this you are building a foundation of accountability that will carry you to health. Keep with the workshop lessons on emotion management are to come. This is a place where you can develop the tools to work towards emotional stability with no judgement-only support. Again, excellent honesty in this post. Keep going.

Be Well,

Anon


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2018 9:12 am 
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Thanks a lot anon523 for your feedback. Those words really mean lot to me.

Lesson 13:

I.
First and foremost, I’m trying hard and am really committed to have schedules and habits in my life. So far, it seems fine.
As I mentioned in last lesson, I have not been able to keep track of all my values and action plans. But one thing I am glad about is that I have proper structure in my life now. I have integrated some healthy habits in my daily life and some of them give me fulfillment too. Example: Gratitude and Meditation. One thing I am sure is I’m not doubtful on my ability to change. But I’m not that confident too. Maybe, it’s because I haven’t acted much according to my plans and so I cannot make huge conclusions without having some feedback from environment.
Regarding triggers, I haven’t given it much of a thought. It’s just that I am living my life. Despite being unable to keep up with most of my action plans, I have prevented myself from having addictive tendencies. I think it’s because I have structure in my life now. Even some pornographic thoughts do not affect me much now.
Another positive thing is that I have become more aware of my emotions now. Not only that, I am also aware of what particular thought pattern could lead me back to addictions. That’s why I don’t act much on my impulse. I am calmer and happier too.

They have accepted that they have struggled with certain immoral behaviors that contradicted their values, but realize that what matters is what they are doing, not what they did.
What’s gone is gone. What matters now is what’s to come.

They make decisions based on what they believe is the right thing to do, rather than on what they think they can get away with.
If I think something is not fine, then I don’t act on it. I keep my promise to myself and what I believe is good for me and my values.

They recognize that the feelings that they are experiencing are the same feelings that others deal with every day in many different situations.
Yeah. That’s right. Each and everyone have some shit going on in their life. What matters to me is to be thankful for what you have now and keep working on yourself for what you could be.

I’m serious regarding removing things related to pornography. I got myself of group where some of my friends sometimes share pornographic videos. Another change that I notice in myself is I stopped objectifying women. I do check them out couple of times, knowingly or unknowingly. But it stops there. Unlike before, I don’t have sexual thoughts of these stranger women. I have changed the way I see women.
With that being said, I do have some problems with couple of my classmates who happen to be females. I have had some bad history with them. One of them treated me like shit even I had done nothing wrong. Another one was that girl who rejected me and she shared screenshots with her friends. Obviously I was a desperate guy in that message. But I think they still view me the same way. It doesn’t matter. And I wish I could not give a fuck. But sadly, I have this tendency to take everything at heart. Let’s see what I can do about it.

II.
Some of the Values associated with Healthy behaviors are:
Dedication and consistency through daily schedule and habits.
Taking care of myself.
Sense of responsibility

Some values associated with unhealthy behavior are:
Trying to appease others.
Intellectualizing everything instead of acting on action plans. Yes you are aware of what you are doing. Let’s act too, shall we?
Emotional immaturity

Instead of trying to appease others, it’s about time I become more connected to myself. I should begin writing journals as I promised to.
Things are fine. Following plans is not an easy task. So to help myself with unhealthy behavior, I’m actually acting on action plans. I have decided to print my values and action plan and review it at the very start of the day.
As for emotional immaturity, I have decided to give certain time for myself.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 6:40 am 
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I had been busy for last few days. So, I couldn’t continue with the exercises. Now that I have completed couple of my personal works, I can finally be consistent in this workshop.

Lesson 14:

So here’s my initial Daily Monitoring system:


1.Did I wake up early in the morning?

2.Did I spend 10-15 minutes in meditation and gratitude?

3.Did I spend at least an Hour in learning new knowledge or skill?

4.Did I follow my Study plan?

5.Did I help my family in doing chores?

6.Did I go through recovery workshop?

7.Did I engage in social interaction today?
-Did I get out of my house today?
-Did I maintain eye contact?
-Did I actively listen to what another person had to say?

8.Did I have any draining social situation?
-Was I aware of feelings and elements during these situations?
-Did I take a break as soon as I was aware of it?

9.Did I engage in any compulsive behavior today?
-If yes, did I maintain an awareness of the elements involved?
-Did I create break as soon as I became aware of that ritual?
-If no, did I role play a past or possible future compulsive ritual to ingrain confidence in my ability to manage these ritual?

10.Did I savor at least a moment today?

11. Did I spend some time for self-reflection?


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 9:16 am 
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Lesson 15:

It’s been around 3 weeks that I’ve been in this workshop. It’s been an insightful journey till now. To be honest, the journey hasn’t been hard till now. The vision part was really hard for me. I never did have a purpose and vision in my life before. I think that’s the reason for it being hard. But it feels so good man, like really good, to have something to work on. Sometimes, I just feel so happy in random situation because I realize that I have a vision in my life. Similarly, I was not aware of value-system. Heck I didn’t even know what my values were. I always made decisions based on impulse. If I remember it correctly, life was so chaotic and full of despair.

Things seem normal at this moment. And I am damn sure the road is tough ahead. Like I know sooner or later, I could have this huge urges and I have to make decisions based on my values. That’s the real test, I think. Thankfully, I have enough weapons to tackle it, and I am still acquiring new weapons as I am going progressing through the lessons. Just before writing these, I went through all the lessons that I printed out recently.(reasons for changing, values, pro active action plans) And it seemed odd to me the things that I had written. I mean I had written so many things but retained so little. But even so, I am aware of important takeaways from lessons of stage I.

Structure and priorities are something that I have actually practiced. I have a structure in my life now. Previously, I tried to impose structure on my life but I failed. This time though, I am confident because now it’s not just the structure that I have but also the underlying values and visions related to it. I think that could work wonders. Priorities have helped me to manage my emotions to some extent. I had this habit (and I still do) of never letting go of things. I want to open door for all possibilities. That I think is a gateway to stress and anxieties. I still am not sure of the specific thing that I am going to do from my career or relationships perspective. But unlike before, I do have rubric and standards for it. I am not a lost person. And I don’t claim to have myself found either. What I do know is I have laid foundation to find myself.


Last edited by firewaterice on Mon Dec 10, 2018 8:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

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