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 Post subject: Radio's Recovery Thread
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2018 5:18 am 
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Lesson 1: Laying the Foundation for Permanent Change

A – My current relationship to the three keys to establishing a successful foundation for permanent change in early recovery

Key one - Actively committing yourself to change:

I have tried to recover from addiction many times. I realise now that each time I tried to recover I chose a passive type of recovery. I took abstinence as being recovery. I did not work on my health and wellbeing. I just grit my teeth and hoped I wouldn't engage in the addictive behaviours. I would try to not come across anything that would remind me of engaging in the behaviour. I would count the days that I did not engage in the addictive behaviours.

Abstinence didn't last for long. When I get stressed out or lonely the urges come back. I would cave in and engage in the addictive behaviour, when the urges got hard to deal with. It seems like I did not want to change, as it would mean that I would not be able to use the addictive behaviour as a way to escape from negative emotions and feelings.

I now choose active recovery. I make the decision to take responsibility for my life and remove my addictive patterns. I commit to changing. The addiction is not the root of the problem, it is a symptom of something much larger. It might be the inability to handle my thoughts and feelings and not taking control to create a healthier life. But, now I choose to create a healthier life!

Key two - Not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change:

I feel shame about the past and I relive the past in my mind. When I feel shame about the past, I tend to engage in the addictive behaviour more. When I engaged in the addictive behaviour, I would feel shame about it and it was likely I would engage in the addictive behaviour again. I would also shame myself throughout an attempt at recovery. I would tell myself how disappointed I was with myself for not reaching my goals.

I will not allow guilt or shame to sabotage my commitment to change. I need to allow myself the opportunity to change. Changing sometimes means I may have to endure feelings that I may not necessary like. But, it is a sacrifice I am willing to make. I know the guilt and shame cycle will keep me trapped, if I allow it. So, when I feel guilt or shame I will try to focus on where I am going instead.

Key three - Allowing yourself time to change

I seem to be very impatient with things. If things don’t happen my way, I tend to get anxious. I wanted recovery to happen straight away and I didn’t want to do additional work. I wanted to be ‘cured’ in the quickest time possible. I thought reading certain books, meeting with people, or doing programs could help me. However, I would get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of doing any work on recovery. I have not allowed myself time to change.

It takes time to change, I cannot expect things to happen straight away. It takes time to learn new skills and to apply them properly. People are able to change, but time and solid practice needs occur.

B - Reasons why I seek to permanently change my life

1 – I want to have more energy to do things (like exercising, working and meeting people).
2 – I want to act in line to my values.
3 - I want to be able to respect myself (by setting goals and trying to meet them).
4 – I want to make connections with other people (by being a good family member, making friends and being a thoughtful colleagues).
5 - I want to make a positive contribution to other people’s lives (by doing work that helps others).
6 – I want time to be outside in nature.
7 – I want time to learn new things.
8 – I want to use precious time I have thoughtfully.
9 – I want to have a place to call my own.
10 – I want to be well rested.

C – Reflections on looking at a picture of myself

At the time of the photo, I didn’t have an addiction. But, I was anxious. I would worry a lot and was pretty lonely. I felt that I was unable to fit in. I was sad about my parents fighting all the time. All I wanted was to not be alone and be in a safe environment. I want to reclaim my life back and get back to health. I want to provide a safe environment for the younger ‘me’ and provide the care to myself that I always needed.


Last edited by Radio on Tue Apr 17, 2018 1:26 am, edited 5 times in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2018 7:34 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3665
Location: UK
Hello Radio
and welcome to the programme
it is well trodden and proven but it is only a guide, it will not do it for you, that is your job

Quote:
I have tried to recover from addiction many times. I realise now that each time I tried to recover I chose a passive type of recovery. I took abstinence as being equivalent to recovery.

I now choose active recovery.


if you really do want to improve your life and to recover from your addiction then you are at a good place to make that wish reality
Commit , fully and completely
work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum , assistance is always on hand
coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path

the path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone
we usually suggest completing about 3 lessons a week but spending time every day posting and reading
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination

remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2018 5:29 am 
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Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2018 7:11 pm
Posts: 10
Thanks very much for the message Coach Kenzo. I’m looking forward to the journey ahead.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2018 7:02 am 
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Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2018 7:11 pm
Posts: 10
Lesson 2: Establishing a Healthy Vision for Your Life

My personal vision

To live in alignment with my values.

To look after my body every day and make this be a priority over everything else. If I respect my body it will give me the best chance of helping others. To help others, first you must help yourself. Nourish my body with healthy food and avoid processed foods whenever I feel hungry. Hydrate my body with water regularly. Exercise, preferably outside, to keep my body fit. Get a good night’s rest each night. Practice gratitude. Engage in a contemplative practice every day, even if it is just for a minute.

To express compassion to others by volunteering and doing work that makes a positive difference in the community and helps other people achieve their own goals and objectives and become empowered. To hold a master’s degree which will provide me with skills and lead me to getting accreditation required to work in a field that has the objective of helping others. To never stop learning and continually develop my knowledge and skills to better provide support to others.

To connect with other people and leave a positive impact on other people’s days. To treat people with respect. To strike up conversations with others. To be present and listen while with others. To be a thoughtful family member. To have a wide group of friends who are fun and supporting. To be available and supportive of my friends. To be able to enjoy being by myself. To be in a healthy and loving relationship with someone who makes me laugh and shares similar values.

To have a value and healthy based identity. To be open and honest with myself. To forgive myself and commit myself to right action. To take responsibility and learn from my mistakes. To take action on things that I want to do and that align with my values, even though I might feel uncomfortable doing it. To be flexible, as everything is subject to change. To see the humour in life and be playful.

To spend time wisely, as it is precious. To learn new things, including learning to sing, taking acting or improvisation classes, bunny hop on a bike, learn to code mobile apps and lucid dream. To explore consciousness.

To maintain my appreciation of the sheer beauty of the natural environment. To get outside and take in the fresh air that the trees and plants so magnificently provide.

To be financially secure from work that I love. To have my own house, where I can live by myself or with someone who I am in a relationship with. To make investment choices guided by principles and thought.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2018 1:31 am 
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Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2018 7:11 pm
Posts: 10
Lesson 3: The Role of Values

List of healthy values

Accepting myself
Adventure
Appreciative
Assertiveness
Being playful
Being present
Compassion
Connecting with others
Contemplation
Courage
Dedication to a path
Dependable
Developing sustained friendships
Empathy
Empowering others
Enjoying the environment
Exploring consciousness
Feeling unconditional love
Financial stability
Flexibility
Forgiveness
Friendliness
Friendship
Grateful
Helpful
Improving my social interactions
Integrity
Intimacy
Joy
Justice
Learn new things
Learning
Making a difference
Patience
Personal development
Personal independence
Physical health
Productivity
Being realistic
Respect for others and oneself
Responsible and accountable for my actions
Right action
Romance
Self-awareness
Self-care
Self-control
Self-development
Self-discipline
Sense of humour
Skilfulness
Staying active
Supportiveness
Thoughtful
Using time wisely

List of dark side values

Anxiety
Being judged
Controlling
Despondency
Distancing
Diversion
Fear
Guilt
Impatience
Insecurity
Instant gratification
Jealousy
Lack of self confidence
Lethargy
Loneliness
Pessimism
Regret
Rejection
Requires social approval
Self-centredness
Selfishness
Worry


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2018 9:54 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2018 7:11 pm
Posts: 10
Lesson 4: Prioritising Your Values

Prioritised list of healthy values

Being present
Physical health (Staying active, Enjoying the environment)
Using time wisely (Self-discipline, Productivity)
Self-development (Personal development, Learning, Learn new things)
Patience
Self-control
Self-care
Compassion
Respect for others and oneself
Right action (Integrity, Skilfulness)
Financial stability
Friendliness (Connecting with others, Developing sustained friendships, Improving my social interactions, Being playful, Sense of humour)
Personal independence
Accepting myself (Forgiveness)
Adventure

Being realistic
Grateful
Contemplation
Self-awareness
Responsible and accountable for my actions
Assertiveness
Joy
Helpful
Dedication to a path
Dependable
Empathy
Courage
Exploring consciousness
Empowering others
Appreciative
Flexibility
Supportiveness
Feeling unconditional love
Justice
Thoughtful
Intimacy
Romance
Making a difference


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2018 6:45 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2018 7:11 pm
Posts: 10
Lesson 5: Identifying Incongruent Values

Top 15 healthy values

1. Experience the present moment
2. Look after my physical body
3. Use time wisely
4. Accepting
5. Respectful
6. Integrity
7. Compassionate
8. Improve myself
9. Friendliness
10. Joy
11. Self-care
12. Adventure
13. Personal independence
14. Financial stability
15. Self-control


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 07, 2018 5:46 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3665
Location: UK
Welcome back :pe:
recovery requires total and complete commitment and progression
it brings its own valuable rewards but it does need to be driven

you work at your pace but work does need to be consistent
hope this message helps, if not ignore it

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2018 8:01 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2018 7:11 pm
Posts: 10
Thanks Kenzo for the message.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2018 8:03 pm 
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Posts: 10
Lesson 6: Building Proactive Action Plans I

Proactive Action Plans for two prioritised values

1. Experience the present moment
  • Schedule contemplation and meditation exercises everyday
  • Take small breaks each day to experience the present moment

2. Look after my physical body
  • Monitor going to sleep early and getting enough sleep
  • Establish limits on use of phone in the night time
  • Exercise each day for about 30 minutes
  • Schedule checking of blood pressure two times a week
  • Schedule blood pressure exercises for five times a week
  • Drink 8 glasses of water a day
  • Brush teeth twice a day


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2018 4:27 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3665
Location: UK
Hello
perhaps focus on value number 3
Quote:
Use time wisely

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2018 1:52 am 
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Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2018 7:11 pm
Posts: 10
Thanks Coach Kenzo. You are right. I have made the value "use time wisely" as my number one value, instead of my number three value. I definitely need to focus on using my time wisely. Cheers, Radio


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2018 1:53 am 
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Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2018 7:11 pm
Posts: 10
Lesson 7: Proactive Action Plans II

Action plan for top 15 healthy values

1. Use time wisely
• Implement productivity system
• Reduce Internet time by putting limits on usage
• Stop distracting myself by surfing the Internet or watching television when overwhelmed by difficult emotions

2. Experience the present moment
• Schedule contemplation and meditation exercises everyday
• Take small breaks each day to experience the present moment

3. Look after my physical body
• Monitor going to sleep early and getting enough sleep
• Establish limits on use of phone in the night time
• Stop using electronics after 10:00 PM, if in bed
• Aim to go to bed at about 8:00 PM
• Exercise each day for about 30 minutes
• Schedule checking of blood pressure two times a week
• Schedule blood pressure exercises for five times a week
• Drink 8 glasses of water a day
• Eat clean and often
• Brush teeth twice a day
• Take breaks throughout the day to feel the breath

4. Accepting
• Practice being willing to have difficult emotions while acting towards values
• Acknowledge mistakes of the past
• Acknowledge all the good that I have done
• Learn from mistakes

5. Respectful
• Take in other people’s opinions
• Do not talk ill about others
• Act skilfully with others

6. Integrity
• Speak and write truthfully
• Be open to change
• Keep agreements and promises
• Do not make compromises on my values
• Take personal responsibility
• Act with transparency
• Keep confidential information in the vault

7. Compassionate
• See things from other people’s point of view
• Act on behalf of others
• Be kind to others, without trying to people please
• Practice loving kindness
• Stop labelling things as good or bad
• Encourage others to flourish

8. Improve myself
• Focus on creating three good habits per three months
• Schedule when micro-habits are to be completed

9. Friendliness
• Listen to others before trying to be understood
• Focus on talking about positive things
• Have open body language
• Smile
• Stop fidgeting
• Have good eye contact
• Develop friendships
• Develop social skills

10. Joy
• Think about what I am grateful for each day
• Don’t take myself too seriously.

11. Self-care
• Stop believing and arguing with the put-downs my mind tells myself
• Take breaks when tired
• Engage with hobby
• Take time to relax (this does not mean Internet, TV, phone or video games)

12. Adventure
• Spend time outside
• Enjoy the company of others
• Explore different natural attractions
• Look up at the sky

13. Personal independence
• Do not depend on others for happiness
• Do not people please, especially when it has negative consequences for me

14. Financial stability
• Find work that align with my values
• Don’t riskily invest money

15. Self-control
• Educate myself by completing recovery exercises
• If tired avoid making decisions
• Avoid decision fatigue by automating habits
• Increase blood glucose, if required, to make better decisions


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