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PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2018 11:39 am 
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Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 5:29 am
Posts: 391
Hi FN,

Quote:
I relapsed.

That's not great but no-one here will judge you. What is really important though is that you reflect back on how it happened (you have made some comments on that in your post) and to see if you can learn lessons on that to avoid it occurring again in the future. In particular, how did it make you feel afterwards? Assuming that you felt guilt and shame then you need to use that as a motivator to learn and move forwards.
Quote:
Solution:
1. Make sure to always be productive and always serve your values. No brakes, no holidays, everyday value vigilance. At the very least never have a bad week. This solution is impractical. I can strive for perfection, but it’s impossible to predict every variable as to be sure I never have an off-week.

I would suggest that the solution needs to start with you accepting that you will have good and bad days but to accept that healthy people also have those. Your issues start when you try to manage bad days with searching for unhealthy things which will make you feel better. By focussing on your values and your boundaries these will serve you well to determine the things which you should and should not be doing and will help you avoid those which leave you feeling guilt and shame afterwards.
Quote:
2. Remove sexual gratification from my values. Undesirable, likely impossible.

I have looked at your list of values and couldn't see this listed there, it would be a rather odd value to have though?
Quote:
3. Get a sex life. Difficult. Attainable.

Actually I would suggest thinking about trying to take the emphasis off sex for a while until you digest the lessons. Once you understand how to approach sex in a healthy way then you will be better placed to make some good decisions around sex, it sounds like a dangerous place for you at the moment. Perhaps explore what non-sexual things can be enjoyable which are healthy and more sustainable in the longer term and will help you align more to your values. It may serve as a helpful distraction in the meantime whilst you progress with the workshop.

Good luck with the deliberations.

_________________
L2R

A clean life; a clear conscience


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2018 3:56 am 
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Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2018 8:43 am
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Lesson 39
Beliefs about sexuality:
*Women are just as sexual, if not more so then men
*Women are sexually attracted to stable, confident and competent men
*Masturbation can be healthy, but it can be abused
*Frequent masturbation drains your energy
*Sex is healthy
*Most women prefer to be dominated
*Children understand more about sex then adults are comfortable with
*I’m afraid I’ll eventually get bored of the sex in a long term relationship
*If I’m no longer interested in my partner, I should tell her so
*If my partner cheats on me, I’d break up with her on the spot
*I want to be sexually desirable to women
*Pornography is entirely addictive and destructive
*Procuring prostitutes is addictive and progressively hampers one’s ability to have real intimate relationships
*Sex vitalizes you
*Voyeurism is humiliating
*If I’m not taking the lead the context of sex, I’m afraid my partner might be displeased
*Obsessing with performance is counter productive
*Quiet and demure girls attract me greatly.
*I’m attractive, but my introversion and my self-consciousness often sabotage my chances of romantic or sexual fulfillment
*I’m insecure about my ability to attract women
*16 is old enough to have sexual agency
*I feel like my peers are all more fulfilled in their sex lives
*I’m sometimes afraid that I was sexualized too early and my sexually compulsive behavior is too deeply ingrained to be ‘’fixed’’ completely
*I’m afraid of starting a relationship in my close social circle, because I’m worried I’ll come off as weird if I get rejected
*I find gay sex disgusting
*A man should have notches on his bedpost before settling down in a relationship
*Cuckoldry is pathetic
*Prostitutes make me feel uninhibited and charming
*Prostitutes help fill the void in my sex life
*I don’t want to be celibate
*Some people are too damaged to have functional sexual and romantic lives
*Getting pegged is submissive
*Handjobs are highly sensual
*Most of my sexual fetishes are the result of porn viewing
*I like being tender and attentive in the context of sex
*Sex is about making an emotional connection
*Sex is about anticipation
*Sex is about power
*Pity sex is disgusting and pathetic
*If a man lets himself be dominated in bed too much, his partner will lose respect for him
*Anal sex is overhyped
*Sometimes I like to dominate my partner
*I want to explore and experiment with my sexuality
*If she doesn’t orgasm, I didn’t do a good enough job
*If she doesn’t orgasm, she might harbor shame about enjoying sex and I should help her work through it
*Sex with a prostitute isn’t real sex, it’s sexual play-acting
*All porn is voyeuristic in nature
*Women are more perverse then men
*Women pretend to be prudish to keep up appearances
*Every part of the female form is enticing and sexy
*Stripping is exiting
*If a woman holds her eyes on me for 3 seconds or more, she fancies me
*If a woman starts asking me about myself, she fancies me
*If a woman dresses in revealing clothing and dolls herself up with make-up, she’s hoping an attractive man will take notice and chat her up
*People have a different set of boundaries for people their attracted to versus people they aren’t attracted to
*People use sex to exploit each other all the time
*Some of the most pleasant and intelligent women I’ve met are prostitutes
*Some prostitutes are very damaged people
*Sex can be good even if no one has an orgasm
*Kissing is the most emotional part of sex
*If a woman kisses me- she’d have sex with me if given the chance
*Sexual tastes can be modified via Pavlovian conditioning, hence porn induced fetishes
*Sometimes a girl turns you down for sex not because she’s not attracted to you, but for external reasons (friends nearby, gossip, religion, societal norms)
*Sexual repression causes people to act out in unhealthy ways
*Honesty is sexy (unless you’re honestly a loser)
*If a woman has a behavior disorder, or you suspect she does, don’t sleep with her (also known as don’t stick your dick in crazy)
*People who are the most uncomfortable with sexual topics are the most perverse
*People who go on the most about sex are insecure about the amount of sex they’re having
*Beautiful girls are often haughty
*I’m generally an attractive guy
*I like hair pulling
*Most of the prostitutes I’ve slept with were within my ‘’league’’.
*I’m a good lay
*Men are more concerned with physical attractiveness then women
*Most women prefer older men
*Most men prefer younger women
*If a person has been highly promiscuous in the past, the chance they’ll cheat is higher
*Everyone wants to sleep with people of a different race at least once
*Cannabis doesn’t mix with sex for me
*I enjoy receiving oral sex
*I enjoy giving oral sex
*Sex with prostitutes is unsatisfying
*Porn is like a drug
*Condoms are a pain in the ass (or penis as it were), but necessary
*I like switching positions
*Channeling your sexual frustration is a vital skill
*I can successfully enforce my sexual boundaries with people
*Violating ones sexual boundaries is wrong
*I still get nervous before sex
*People use drinking to avoid taking responsibility for sex
*If you’re sober enough to walk in a straight line, you’re sober enough to consent to sex
*If you sexually impose yourself on someone while drunk, you’re still responsible for that
*Female sexual predators exist, and most people pretend they don’t
*Cheating is a big deal
*I like petite girls
*I like girls who work out
*Procuring prostitutes is a sign of weakness
*Procuring prostitutes is humiliating
*Intentionally seeking arousing material is the same as PMOing in spirit

Note to reader: any mentions of a partner are in the context of the hypothetical as of the completion of this lesson, as I am barrenly single 
Ending:
I’ll engage in sexual activity only because I want to, not because I have to, in order to manage my emotions
I will explore what my actual sexual tastes and desires are, independent of what porn has drilled me to like
I will not hold beliefs about my attractiveness and sexual worth that are self-defeating and draining to my self-esteem
I will view sex as a part of a relationship as opposed to a singular goal I need to fulfill to feel normal
I will not engage in sexual behavior that is self-destructive (sex-destructive? lol)
I will be responsive to my partner’s needs and their emotional well-being
I will not allow myself to be exploited through sex
Beginning:
*Women are just as sexual, if not more so then men
*Women are sexually attracted to stable, confident and competent men
*Masturbation can be healthy, but it can be abused
*Frequent masturbation drains your energy
*Sex is healthy
*Most women prefer to be dominated
*I’m afraid I’ll eventually get bored of the sex in a long term relationship
*If I’m no longer interested in my partner, I should tell her so
*If my partner cheats on me, I’d break up with her on the spot
*I want to be sexually desirable to women
*Pornography is entirely addictive and destructive
*Procuring prostitutes is addictive and progressively hampers one’s ability to have real intimate relationships
*Sex vitalizes you
*Voyeurism is humiliating
*Obsessing with performance is counter productive
*Quiet and demure girls attract me greatly.
*16 is old enough to have sexual agency
*Cuckoldry is pathetic
*I don’t want to be celibate
*Some people are too damaged to have functional sexual and romantic lives
*Getting pegged is submissive
*Handjobs are highly sensual
*I like being tender and attentive in the context of sex
*Sex is about making an emotional connection
*Sex is about anticipation
*Sex is about power
*Pity sex is disgusting and pathetic
*If a man lets himself be dominated in bed too much, his partner will lose respect for him
*Anal sex is overhyped
*Sometimes I like to dominate my partner
*I want to explore and experiment with my sexuality
*If she doesn’t orgasm, she might harbor shame about enjoying sex and I should help her work through it
*Sex with a prostitute isn’t real sex, it’s sexual play-acting
*All porn is voyeuristic in nature
*Women are more perverse then men
*Every part of the female form is enticing and sexy
*Stripping is exiting
*If a woman holds her eyes on me for 3 seconds or more, she fancies me
*If a woman starts asking me about myself, she fancies me
*If a woman dresses in revealing clothing and dolls herself up with make-up, she’s hoping an attractive man will take notice and chat her up
*People have a different set of boundaries for people their attracted to versus people they aren’t attracted to
*People use sex to exploit each other all the time
*Sex can be good even if no one has an orgasm
*Kissing is the most emotional part of sex
*If a woman kisses me- she’d have sex with me if given the chance
*Sexual tastes can be modified via Pavlovian conditioning, hence porn induced fetishes
*Sometimes a girl turns you down for sex not because she’s not attracted to you, but for external reasons (friends nearby, gossip, religion, societal norms)
*Sexual repression causes people to act out in unhealthy ways
*Honesty is sexy (unless you’re honestly a loser)
*If a woman has a behavior disorder, or you suspect she does, don’t sleep with her (also known as don’t stick your dick in crazy)
*People who are the most uncomfortable with sexual topics are the most perverse
*People who go on the most about sex are insecure about the amount of sex they’re having
*Beautiful girls are often haughty
*I’m generally an attractive guy
*I like hair pulling
*Most of the prostitutes I’ve slept with were within my ‘’league’’.
*I’m a good lay
*Men are more concerned with physical attractiveness then women
*If a person has been highly promiscuous in the past, the chance they’ll cheat is higher
*Everyone wants to sleep with people of a different race at least once
*Cannabis doesn’t mix with sex for me
*I enjoy receiving oral sex
*I enjoy giving oral sex
*Sex with prostitutes is unsatisfying
*Porn is like a drug
*Condoms are a pain in the ass (or penis as it were), but necessary
*I like switching positions
*Channeling your sexual frustration is a vital skill
*I can successfully enforce my sexual boundaries with people
*Violating ones sexual boundaries is wrong
*Selecting prostitutes excites me
*I still get nervous before sex
*People use drinking to avoid taking responsibility for sex
*If you’re sober enough to walk in a straight line, you’re sober enough to consent to sex
*If you sexually impose yourself on someone while drunk, you’re still responsible for that
*Female sexual predators exist, and most people pretend they don’t
*Cheating is a big deal
*I like petite girls
*I like girls who work out

Existing vulnerabilities:

Baggage (past), low self-esteem, boredom, complacency, sexual frustration

Feedback:
I don't really have anyone in my life that I trust to look over this, so I would appreciate if someone here could take a peek at my answers on lesson 38 so far.


Last edited by Felix Nai on Thu Sep 27, 2018 10:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 27, 2018 4:27 am 
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Quote:
I have looked at your list of values and couldn't see this listed there, it would be a rather odd value to have though?

Yeah, it's there. Although I didn't describe it as sexual gratification, per say. What I meant by ''it would be impractical to remove sexual gratification from my value'', is that becoming celibate as a value is not something I want.
[
Quote:
Actually I would suggest thinking about trying to take the emphasis off sex for a while until you digest the lessons. Once you understand how to approach sex in a healthy way then you will be better placed to make some good decisions around sex, it sounds like a dangerous place for you at the moment. Perhaps explore what non-sexual things can be enjoyable which are healthy and more sustainable in the longer term and will help you align more to your values. It may serve as a helpful distraction in the meantime whilst you progress with the workshop.


Let me level with you, I've been in two relationships. One lasting a month and the other one lasting 2 weeks. The rest of my life I've been avoidant of relationships because of underdeveloped social skills and low self-esteem. I've already spend too long procrastinating on meaningfully committing myself to developing that part of my life. I feel as though I wasted a large part of my youth because I didn't have what it takes to step up and correct my deficiencies. Instead of doing that, I've been self-medicating with porn and prostitutes. I'm content with most every other area of my life. This problem, however, is a constant background strain on my self-esteem and spending my time doing anything else feels like more procrastination.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2018 2:06 am 
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Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 5:29 am
Posts: 391
Hi FN,

Quote:
Feedback:
I don't really have anyone in my life that I trust to look over this, so I would appreciate if someone here could take a peek at my answers on lesson 38 so far.

Whilst I obviously do not know you and therefore can not judge whether they would be appropriate for you as an individual I can say that it looks like you are on the right track ion terms of how you are approaching this.

Quote:
Let me level with you, I've been in two relationships. One lasting a month and the other one lasting 2 weeks. The rest of my life I've been avoidant of relationships because of underdeveloped social skills and low self-esteem. I've already spend too long procrastinating on meaningfully committing myself to developing that part of my life. I feel as though I wasted a large part of my youth because I didn't have what it takes to step up and correct my deficiencies. Instead of doing that, I've been self-medicating with porn and prostitutes. I'm content with most every other area of my life. This problem, however, is a constant background strain on my self-esteem and spending my time doing anything else feels like more procrastination.

It is a long time ago now but I went through something very similar from the end of my teens through to my mid twenties so I can relate to what you are saying. I guess my comments were coming from a perspective of your statement being to try and "get a sex life". Whilst I think I now know what you mean, I would say that it may perhaps be better worded to try and strive to find a new relationship with someone? If you achieve that then the sex would naturally follow presumably? Just a thought.

Well done and keep going.

_________________
L2R

A clean life; a clear conscience


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2018 12:33 pm 
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Quote:
Well done and keep going.


Sure will. And thanks for checking in.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2018 12:33 pm 
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Lesson 42

Compulsive ritual: Procurement of prostitutes
Elements: loneliness, power, sensory (all), anticipation, fantasy, emotional comfort, relief, fear-anxiety, role playing, orgasm
Time=4
Habituation=9
Intensity=7
Compulsive ritual; description:
1. (BEGINNING) Concept of prostitution enters my mind (through TV, for example), followed by an attempt to justify browsing sites offering the service.
2. Desire to browse solidifies
3. Resistance, back and forth argument starts
4. ‘’For’’ argument is purely emotionally based
5. Give in to browsing with the concession that there will be no PMOing and no actual procurement will occur
5a. (BREAK can occur anywhere from 6 to 14) Argument ‘’against’’ arouses enough negative emotions and or cancels out positive emotions brought on by ritual, ‘’short circuiting it’’.
6. Browse, take pleasure in selection
7. Take pleasure in ‘’separating the wheat from the chaff’’
8. Realize mistake
9. Narrow down choices
10. Fantasize about each ‘’candidate’’
11. Make choice and phone call
12. Anticipate voice
13. Feel anxiety
14. Do not get call back
14b. (POINT OF NO RETURN) Get call back, get address/clear up logistics
15. Groom carefully, trying to make myself appealing. Role play as my most sexually desirable self.
16. Travel, whilst anticipating encounter and/or questioning my decision
17. Arrive at apartment of prostitute, anticipation mounts
18. Meet/greet anticipation at highest point, minor sensory stimulation
19. Drink water (throat dry)
20. Engage in conversation, role play as my most sexually desirable self, emotional comfort from guaranteed sex mounts
21. Engage in sex
22. Sensory stimulation at greatest height
23. Orgasm
24. Engage in more ‘’role play’’, small talk
25. Leave

Compulsive ritual chain: masturbation, prostitution procurement, gaming, video viewing, food
Description:
1. Begin gaming session
2. Encounter sexy character
3. Browse rule 34 of character
4. View usual channels for other porn
5. Begin to masturbate
6. Narrow down content
7. Orgasm
8. Shower
9. Continue gaming session
10. Browse prostates
11. Narrow down choices
12. Masturbate again
13. Orgasm
14. Watch youtube compulsively
15. Comfort food

Effects of compulsive chains on life and life management:

Chains like this, when in full swing, effectively make it impossible to do productive tasks. Given the importance of doing productive tasks to keep in touch with my key values, this causes gradual value corrosion.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 09, 2018 1:42 pm 
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Lesson 44
What role does my core identity play in my recovery? My core identity acts as a buffering zone between an urge and a full blown relapse. It allows me to keep in touch with my values and boundaries, thus giving me positive reinforcement when I resist an urge.
What role do value based experiences play in developing my core identity? Value based experiences are what allow me to make value based decisions. They are the emotional consequences of acting in accordance or in spite of values. They are also a sort of reference point ; evidence that I do in fact hold the values I aspire to as opposed to simply stating that I do. They allow for a strong and stable core identity.
How in tune am I with my core identity? Acting in accordance with or in spite of my core identity always has a noticeable effect on my emotional state. Acting in accordance boosts my self-esteem and gives me a feeling of contentment and acting incongruent with my core identity has the opposite effect. It drains my self-esteem and causes anxiety. This is true of my 15 most important values and they’re corresponding boundaries.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2018 9:05 am 
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Well, I've got bad news. For the past 2 weeks or so (I've honestly lost track) I've been in a vicious cycle of recovery-relapse. I've totally lost the plot and my commitment to my values where my addiction is concerned. I'll going back to the beginning of the workshop, because all of the information is in pieces in my head and I need to see how it all fits together. I will be looking over the exercises as well and redo them where I feel it's necessary.

It's never pleasant to admit when you've lost, but I'm honestly optimistic about getting back in the saddle. Here we go again, I suppose.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2018 10:31 am 
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Lesson 1, redone:
The truth is my recovery has become passive, I lost my passion and commitment. I let the recovery become a slog and I thought only of the result and not of the task at hand. I was impatient. My initial reasoning for wanting to quit was dominated by a desire to escape the consequences of my addiction. It was based on my ego. The desire to lead a genuine life, unclouded by the falsehoods and self-deception that comes with addiction was secondary. As such, the desire to lead such a life will be my sole conscious motivator going forward.
I lost touch with my sense of pride. I fell into shame for failing and relapsing. Most of all I felt ashamed fo r not living up to my own expectations. In this, I failed to consider and make peace with my own shortcomings, my own weaknesses and the fact that I do not know my own mind with perfect clarity and therefore do not know all of my faults and weaknesses as they immerge. In short, in recognizing the moments in which emotion rules my action, the moments in which I am not in control, I can take steps to put my emotions and therefore actions in the sphere of my control.
I also recognize that many things are completely outside of the sphere of my control, and I will accept these as such and feel no sorrow or frustration when I cannot reach them. I can only put forth the effort to improve the odds in my favor. I commit myself to letting go of my expectations and just doing what is necessary to get closer to what I want, in recovery and in life.
As for recovery proper, I can promise to commit myself honestly to the task at hand, absorbing and making sense of the information and doing the exercises as well as I am able, unburdened by expectation and self-demand.
1. I want to live life, free from self-destruction and self-sabotage
2. I want to be free of uncontrollable compulsion
3. I want to be free of things that warp my tastes and passions
4. I want to be of one mind, to be decisive
5. I want to be in touch with reality and as such, to a genuine life
6. I want to be in charge of my own time
7. I want to be free of obsession
8. I want to value my dignity over immediate gratification
9. I want to value my pride over immediate gratification
10. I want to value my emotional stability over immediate gratification
11. I want to value my commitment to self-improvement over immediate gratification

I am no longer impatient for change. It will take however long it will take. It isn’t for me to know what challenges outside of my control will arise as my recovery progresses.

I won’t be fishing out my old photos, nor will I be projecting into the future; I realize in this moment that my regrets about the past and the self-hatred that I harbor for my past self do nothing to help me, likewise for my frantic attempts to project for the future. These behaviors have situational value at best and are best left alone in favor of living in the present. As I engage in them in a compulsive, emotional rise-seeking manner, they are to be avoided.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2018 6:05 am 
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Location: UK
Hello FN

Quote:
For the past 2 weeks or so (I've honestly lost track) I've been in a vicious cycle of recovery-relapse. I've totally lost the plot and my commitment to my values where my addiction is concerned.


Why?
that is the question that you need to address
your reasons for wanting change are good so believe that they are there for you, if you commit to achieve



Quote:
It's never pleasant to admit when you've lost,

you have not lost because it is not over, you can and will win, if you choose to
you probably do not believe that you have that choice but you do


Quote:
living in the present.

be aware that addiction is about living in the present, , immediate and instant gratification, IMO you should look forwards and backwards, own your past and create your future, learn from what you have experienced and shape your life around your healthy values

good luck

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 6:50 am 
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Lesson 12 revised:

They perceive "powerlessness" not as absolute powerlessness over their life, but a limited powerlessness over their urges.
I no longer identify with this pattern: Giving in to my urges is a choice and it is entirely manageable, if I fail in managing my urges, it is through neglect, laziness and non-commitment


Relapse triggers are feared, and so their lives continue to be altered as a result of addiction.
I no longer identify with this pattern: I do not fear trigger situations, nor do I go out of my way to explore them, as they simply tend to increase my urge to act out, which leads to wasted time and energy spend in managing these fortified urges


They tend to focus on controlling past behavior, rather than learning new behavior.
I no longer identify with this pattern: I am mainly focused on learning new behavior, although urge management is still important to me
They often experience extreme emotions in relation to acting out — extreme guilt, extreme shame, depression, anger, hatred. Or, they experience very mild emotions — when it has become a pattern that they have resolved to accept as a part of their lives.
I no longer identify with this pattern: I do not find emotions related to acting out to be any more or less intense than usual.

They tend to hyper analyze their actions, thoughts and feelings...and make the possibility of living a "normal" life all but impossible.
I no longer identify with this pattern: I actively seek to think less and do more, in the sense of not over-analyzing everything and just doing the tasks in front of me.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 6:51 am 
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Lesson 13 revised:
• They have accepted that they have struggled with certain immoral behaviors that contradicted their values, but realize that what matters is what they are doing, not what they did. They realize that no successful recovery ever took place by changing the past, only by changing the present.
Value congruent: Honesty with self; letting go of what’s irrelevant
• Their motivation to recover comes from the desire to live a life that they can be proud of, rather than a desire to create the illusion of a life that they can be proud of.
Value congruent: Honesty with self; decisiveness
• They make decisions based on what they believe is the right thing to do, rather than on what they think they can get away with. They know that whether these decisions end up being the right ones or not is irrelevant. That all that matters is that they were made with the right intentions in mind.
Value congruent: Honesty with self; integrity, living with order and structure
• They are not focused on controlling/ending their past behavioral patterns, but on developing new patterns that will take the place of those related to the addiction.
Value congruent: Letting go of what’s irrelevant
• They perceive "powerlessness" as a temporary term that more accurately describes their lack of skills in managing their urges.
Value congruent: Stoicism
• Relapse triggers are experienced not as a threat, but an opportunity.
Value congruent: Desire to self-improve
• They recognize failure as a learning experience — but only when that failure occurs with on-the-spot sincerity, as opposed to pre-planned deception.
Value congruent: Desire to self-improve
• They recognize that the feelings that they are experiencing are the same feelings that others deal with every day in many different situations. That they are not "defective", but "deficient".
Value congruent: Honesty with self, intellectual honesty
• They identify their future with a healthy person that once used addiction to manage their life; not as an addict that is managing their life with healthy behavior.
Value congruent: Letting go of what’s irrelevant
• They see their lives as a continuous process of growth and development, rather than an episodic book of starts and stops. (e.g. "When I was addicted" "After I recovered").
Value neutral
• They will take a long, hard look at anything associated with their destructive past, and will voluntarily make the decision to remove these objects from their life. This refers to pornography, internet accounts, etc. It does not necessarily refer to affairs where real feelings were experienced/exchanged.
Value congruent: Decisiveness


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2018 4:54 pm 
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Revised daily monitoring:
1. Did I accept the things that I can’t change as they are?
-Did I dwell on bad situations or thoughts?
2. Was I assertive?
3. Did I take initiative in my work?
Was I present and focused in my work?
4. Did I have my fill of right action today?
5. Did I witness interesting art today?
6. Did I take charge of my emotions today?
Did I let myself get overwhelmed?
7. Was I warm and sociable?
8. Was I attentive when in conversation?


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2018 6:58 am 
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Lesson 22. I decided to do a more comprehensive breakdown then what was suggested. I followed the ''Dave'' example given in the lesson and used that as a model.

PMO:
Primary elements:
Visual stimulation, stimulation-touch (masturbation), orgasm
Orgasm: 3
Time=4
Intensity=4
Habituation=3
Total: 4.5

Visual stim: 3
Time=7
Intensity=5
Habituation=5
Total: 7.2

Touch: 3
Time=4
Intensity=5
Habituation=2
Total: 4.7

Secondary: curiosity, fantasy, loneliness relief
Fantasy: 2
Time=9
Intensity=9
Habituation=6
Total: 6.8
Curiosity: 2
Time=10
Intensity=3
Habituation=1
Total: 4

Accessory: loneliness relief
Loneliness relief: 1
Time= 10
Intensity=2
Habituation=1
Total: 1.8

Total stimulation= 29.9


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2018 9:21 am 
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Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2018 8:43 am
Posts: 76
Lesson 23
What practical uses can measuring compulsive behavior have?
1. Preparing for unforeseen trigger situations. By roleplaying potential ‘slips’ and their management, I might become better equipped should I find myself in a situation in which I might be tempted to use compulsive behavior.
2. By breaking down the behavior into it’s elementary bits, I demystify the compulsive behavior, and therefore rob it of much of it’s power
3. By understanding the level of emotional stimulation provided by the behavior, I might know what level of stimulation I should seek to derive from my values.


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