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PostPosted: Sat Sep 21, 2019 7:52 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jul 07, 2018 7:12 pm
Posts: 65
Exercise 21

A. What large goals have you attempted in your life and failed? Why do you suppose you failed?

Learning Javascript. I don't really need to know it for my work but I have always wanted to. It's also not that interesting to me. I think I get interested in it because I think I 'should' know it. Much like RN, I can have trouble sticking with online courses and I can become distracted.

B. What large goals have you attempted in your life and succeeded? Why do you suppose you were able to succeed?
I built a software business from the ground up, it may not be a success but I sacrificed other things to do it. I was passionate about the idea and showed up when I needed to. I priortised the goal.

C. List one recovery goal that you have and break it down into as many smaller, measurable tasks as necessary for you to manage it successfully. If you find this difficult, then you are probably starting off with too general of a recovery goal. Make it specific.

Complete 90 days no porn.

Tasks
Show up to RN everyday and read or do an exercise
Read 5 articles on ybop
Watch 5 youtube videos from ybop
Establish a morning routine
Meditate 10 mins each date
Journal everyday
Foster and develop other ares in my life (family, martial arts garden, business, friends, design/ dev


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2019 6:42 am 
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Joined: Sat Jul 07, 2018 7:12 pm
Posts: 65
Hi

Been ages since I have posted here. I got up to a really hard lesson and kinda stopped for a while.

I have basically been doing cycles of no porn for 10 days or so, normally followed by some sort of relapse. Still struggling with drinking once or twice a week (which I don;t think is normally an issue, but it can lead to pmo for me).

I started a great new job and have been doing lots of martial arts. Spending lots of time with family and friends so there is lots of positive stuff going on. I am missing a lot with the values based work.

I will try continue the exercises they really helped.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2019 2:09 pm 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 208
Hi TP

Instead of adding to comments I have made in the past, I thought I would let you do the talking :w:

Quote:
I have a goal too - free by 40. I am 39 so have a bout 6 months to really clean up my act. The truth is though I am not putting real energy into recovery (to the standards I pick up on from the workshop). I guess I am just also actually enjoying my life. I may be numbing a bit with some tv, but I have been doing all sorts of cool stuff like juggling, guitar, martial arts and I am about to go skiing again. I have solid friends, who I am grateful and a great family. I am super lucky. Meditation has helped more than anything.

So you know, not all bad news! I am not going anywhere though.

_________________
“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 06, 2020 2:52 am 
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Joined: Sat Jul 07, 2018 7:12 pm
Posts: 65
Theseus1112 wrote:
Hi TP

Instead of adding to comments I have made in the past, I thought I would let you do the talking :w:

Quote:
I have a goal too - free by 40. I am 39 so have a bout 6 months to really clean up my act. The truth is though I am not putting real energy into recovery (to the standards I pick up on from the workshop). I guess I am just also actually enjoying my life. I may be numbing a bit with some tv, but I have been doing all sorts of cool stuff like juggling, guitar, martial arts and I am about to go skiing again. I have solid friends, who I am grateful and a great family. I am super lucky. Meditation has helped more than anything.

So you know, not all bad news! I am not going anywhere though.


Thanks Theseus.

Not much has changed since I made that post. I am getting small wins, like I just did a family holiday and didn't fight with my wife/ I am closer to her than ever and I accept that I am fault for the misery I am in.

I am up to day 4 now, after pretty much repeating a cycle of short streaks for the last 6 months. It is better than where I was,but not good enough.

I started reading your brain on porn, that is helping a lot.

I am kinda stuck on the lesson I am up to on here, but I will work through it and also review some of my values here.

I am not drinking in January, I continue the martial arts and earned a promotion last year so some things are well. we are facing some pretty heavy environmental stress where I am ATM, I need to keep my wits about me.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 06, 2020 3:19 am 
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Joined: Sat Jul 07, 2018 7:12 pm
Posts: 65
I kinda got stuck on this one. For ages.

DRAFT. I am going to come back to this one. But I need to move on too

Ritual Measured:

Watching Porn

Primary Elements Involved:

Physical Stimulation (touch); Fantasy; Orgasm; Sensory (visual); Accomplishment

Values assigned:

Physical Stimulation (touch) = 3
Fantasy = 1
Orgasm = 3
Sensory (visual) = 1
Accomplishment = 1


Filters applied:

Physical Stimulation (touch)

*Time — At the peak this is a 9, but tends to not last too long asI want to get it over with once I start

*Intensity — Builds up - I don;t need to maintain once I get my 'fix'

*Habituation — It is an 8


Fantasy:

*Time — 6

*Intensity — 7

*Habituation — 10


Orgasm:

*Time — 4

*Intensity — 7

*Habituation — 8

Sensory (visual):

*Time — 4

*Intensity — 7

*Habituation — 8


Accomplishment:

*Time — 3 - drops off

*Intensity — 5

*Habituation — 6


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2020 6:07 am 
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Joined: Sat Jul 07, 2018 7:12 pm
Posts: 65
Oh wow . Amazing to see the last post here.

So a day or so after my last post I found out my Father passed away. A month or so later I lost two uncles in the same week.

the truth is if I were better able to manage my emotions, I would have been ok.

Well for the last couple of months I have been slowly rebuilding myself back to where I was - which was about 10 - 15 day streaks followed by slips.

I am currently on 12 days or so, but I am not counting days so much. Had some big urges last couple of days but I am a little more aware of my triggers now. I booked a call with a therapist, and I was thinking about speaking to a couch here too.

Things are MUCH better with my family. My work is going well, I recently has spontaneous sex with my wife and I seem in charge of my emotions. However, I have a LONG way to go, and I am not currently in control of my behavior.

I have been writing a bunch of music, reading, doing gardening, have a bunch of goals and am reviewing them often. I also think about and try apply my values to my decisions, still working on that.

I sense fear in committing. I am trying to get to the root cause of my issues. Sad as it is my Dad passed away, it helped me close a chapter in my life.

So I just wanted to update. All the best and thanks for reading.


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