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 Post subject: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:00 am 
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Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 31
Hi! I decided to create an account as it may help in my recovery process.

A little background on my ongoing recovery journey. I learned about PMO when I was in 6th grade. However, I can assess that I was addicted to it when I was in 2nd-year high school. I continued using it till 4th-year high school (I do it for about 3 times a day on average). Went to college, and realized that there was something wrong with me since I was not attractive, had a very bad case of acne, very thin (55 kg and I was 5 ft 6 in) and I have social anxiety. I had found this website about NoFap, basically, I was attracted with the benefits that I learned but I can still not achieve that complete abstinence and there is that feeling of emptiness within me. That's when I learned that I should fill in the free time with the things that I want etc. But I just need help to conquer my demons and decided that Recovery Nation may help me. I'm 21 now, waiting for my graduation and this is the time that I can focus on learning about myself more.

Learned a lot from the first chapter of Recovery Nation and I hope joining the forum would further my phase of Recovery to Good Health.

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


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 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:05 am 
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Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 31
Lesson 1: Building a Healthy Foundation for Change

A.
1. I have been actively committing myself to change for the past months or year. However, I feel the need to learn something more. A certain thing that can help me to further my recovery. Handling my emotions, learning more from my compulsive behavior.
2. During those time that I am binging for about 3 to 4 times a day, guilt and shame destroy my composure in committing to my new self. Once I edge, most likely I will not be able to control my urge and do my compulsive behavior.
3. Another thing that I can add to my past failures is that I had not enough time to read materials that target my compulsive behavior. Since I am doing things in school. I am just using my small free time in learning and sometimes, I am tired or bored to read and uses my time for other stuff that makes me happy or lessens my stress.

B.
1. I want to feel genuine happiness for who I am, without my compulsive behavior/addiction.
2. Removing my compulsive behavior would enable me to give my best and bring my full potential in the things that I do, giving me a sense of success no matter what happens to the outcome.
3. I want to become a great big brother to my two little siblings, helping them out on their problems and giving them a great example of how to live a good life. And not that I am the one who is in need for them due to my compulsive behavior.
4. I want to build good friendships with women. Without using them as an emotional outlet from my broken past. Learning my boundaries of flirting with them and being more careful with their feelings.
5. I want to have more trust in myself, knowing that when I am alone, I can do things on my own without being scared that I will fall for my compulsive behavior.
6. I want to remove my moody attitude.
7. I want to enjoy my life, taking up my responsibilities, hobbies, values and other necessary stuff to be put into action.
8. I want to improve my talents and learn things that I have interest in. Sharing them with the people around me, improving my self-esteem and letting them learn.
9. Improve my social skills by smiling more. Start great conversations without being awkward. Make strong bonds with special people that I encounter and make real friends.
10. Apply the things I learn from the Bible. I want to give my glory to the Lord and be more like of Jesus Christ in serving this life.
11. Removing my addiction will provide me the strength to go out my comfort zone making me explore the boundaries of my life.
12. I want to improve on my weaknesses. And empower my career for myself and family.
13. I want to achieve that time when I can give my family a vacation trip to a certain international country wherein we can enjoy and bond together.
14. I want to have a balanced life. A strong personality that can overcome whatever obstacles that will be given in my life, facing my life heads up and with a SMILE.
15. I want to be present during social events. Showing who I am and not holding back on what will I say.
16. I want to express my masculinity through things such as sports, dance and other healthy ways.

C. Picture of me when I was an innocent child
(insert photo)

(Edited: February 08, 2019)
Looking at my photo when I was maybe 3 or 4 years old, it was a photo of me opening gifts during my birthday or Christmas Season. I can see him very happy. I can sense genuine happiness emanating from this child. I'm crying as I was looking at this photograph. I'm asking myself, how can I become so misdirected with my life. I don't know what to feel. If only I can go back in time to guide this child into growing up into a better man, instead of the one that experienced those hardships and those bad experiences, I would do so.


Finished: December 28, 2018

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


Last edited by DanRecovers on Thu Feb 07, 2019 8:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:06 am 
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Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 31
Lesson 2: Establishing a Vision for Your Life
My Mission:

Serve and know more about God.
Make real friends and treasure my family.
Instill balance in my life in developing my physical, emotional, social, mental and spiritual aspects of my life.
Learn lessons that will lead to self-improvement
Explore the boundaries of my comfort zone by facing my fears and having new experiences.


My Vision:

The center of my life would be my relationship with God. He was the reason why I am here right now having a way to rebuild my life. He was the reason why I am out of the dungeon that imprisoned me in the past.
The next thing I want to focus on would be developing myself. I know I have the strength for learning since it was how I managed to have gratification when I was a child. However, I would want to learn more about myself. Develop other aspects such as in my social part of my life by meeting people, building real friendships and treasuring old ones. Additionally, I would want to know how to handle emotions that I have chosen to numb by the compulsive behavior I had.
With the remaining time I have left as a transitioning adult, I would want to spend time with my family. Before a new chapter of my life begins, I would spend time with them and help them with the things I learned as a student in a foreign land. Improving how to handle the family, showing my parents that there is so much more in life, hoping that I can make a difference.
Lastly, I would want to achieve my goals such as in my career, achieving in my board exam, exploring my boundaries, facing my fears and sharing my talents with a lot of people. Pursue my dreams that I had as a child. Without the feeling of overstressing myself. Giving my best in furthering myself to achieve those things. But taking care of myself in the process. Pushing myself to the limit, but letting myself feel being loved and taken care of.


Finished: January 06, 2019 

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


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 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:08 am 
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Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 31
Lesson 3: The Role of Values

A. Values derived from my vision “SMILE”

1. Serve God and know more of Him.
2. Spend time with God first thing in the morning.
3. Rely on God for power when things get rough.
4. Trust Him on the things that I have no control over.
5. Remember that God has a purpose for everything.
6. Be humble.
7. My accomplishments would not define who I am.
8. Remember that the things I do would be for the glory of God.
9. Check out old friends.
10. Be social.
11. Talk more to people. Learn from them.
12. Have fun with people.
13. Don’t be too serious. Life is fun.
14. Take time to get to know people. They are who they are for a reason.
15. Accept people for who they are. Don’t judge them.
16. Building a healthy relationship with woman.
17. Care for my family.
18. Respect my parents. Listen to their advise.
19. Strengthen my role as a brother.
20. Strengthen my role to my relatives, specially to my cousins.
21. Aim for balance in life.
22. Self Improvement.
23. Reflection.
24. Renewal.
25. Be more playful. Dance! Sing! Jog!
26. Exhibit self care.
27. Accept emotions. Write in my journal.
28. Be honest.
29. Exhibit diligence.
30. Be a role model for my family.
31. Live an exciting life.
32. Loving others.
33. Being loved by others.
34. Be challenged.
35. Overcome challenges.
36. Risk more.
37. Face my fears.
38. Strive for excellence.
39. Physical health.
40. Mental health.
41. Be more masculine.
42. Be respected.
43. Practice patience.
44. Be more of myself with the people around me.
45. Be responsible.
46. Live with integrity. Be proud of yourself.
47. Exercise my creativity.
48. Adaptable in any situation.
49. Feeling happy.
50. Being contented.
51. Sacrifice for people.
52. Work as a team.
53. Being dependable.
54. Be resourceful.
55. Not being defined by limits.
56. Self discipline.
57. Express love for oneself.
58. Being sexually desired.
59. Being love for who I am.
60. Get to know a lot of women.
61. Exercise my competitiveness with other men and myself.
62. Build great friendships with real men.
63. Share my talents.
64. Learn from great books.
65. Thinking outside of my daily routine.
66. Being adventurous.
67. Be a leader.
68. Putting myself first on my priority.
69. Saying no to the things that I don’t want.
70. Strengthening my physical health.
71. Get to know more about myself.
72. Know more about my finances.
73. Goal of financial independence.
74. Being responsible for my actions.
75. Being kind.
76. Improving my talents.

B.
1. Being too adventurous.
2. So much curiosity.
3. Pressuring myself to become better. (leading to PMO when stressed)
4. Instant gratification.
5. Pleasure.
6. Forgetting oneself.


Finished: January 14, 2018

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


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 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:10 am 
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Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 31
Lesson 4: Prioritizing Your Values

1. Spend time with God first thing in the morning.
2. Trust Him on the things that I have no control over.
3. Self-discipline.
4. Be social. Be more of myself with the people around me.
5. Don’t be too serious. Life is fun.
6. Take time to get to know people. They are who they are for a reason.
7. Have fun with people.
8. Talk more to people. Learn from them.
9. Building a healthy relationship with a woman.
10. Self Improvement.
11. Face my fears.
12. Adaptable in any situation.
13. Exercise my creativity.
14. Live with integrity. Be proud of yourself.
15. Live an exciting life.
16. Overcome challenges.
17. Physical health.
18. Mental health. Emotional Health
19. Care for my family.
20. Aim for balance in life.
21. Exhibit diligence.
22. Be responsible.
23. Accept emotions. Write in my journal.
24. Be resourceful.
25. Feeling happy.
26. Accept people for who they are. Don’t judge them.
27. Remember that the things I do would be for the glory of God.
28. My accomplishments would not define who I am.
29. Be humble.
30. Check out on my old friends.
31. Respect my parents. Listen to their advice.
32. Strengthen my role as a brother.
33. Strengthen my role to my relatives, especially to my cousins.
34. Reflection.
35. Serve God and know more of Him.
36. Rely on God for power when things get rough.
37. Remember that God has a purpose for everything.
38. Renewal.
39. Be more playful. Dance! Sing! Jog!
40. Exhibit self care.
41. Be honest.
42. Be a role model for my family.
43. Loving others.
44. Being loved by others.
45. Be challenged.
46. Risk more.
47. Strive for excellence.
48. Be more masculine.
49. Be respected.
50. Practice patience.
51. Being contented.
52. Sacrifice for people.
53. Work as a team.
54. Being dependable.
55. Not being defined by limits.
56. Express love for oneself.
57. Being sexually desired.
58. Being loved for who I am.
59. Get to know a lot of women I’m attracted to.
60. Exercise my competitiveness with other men and myself.
61. Build great friendships with real men.
62. Share my talents.
63. Learn from great books.
64. Thinking outside of my daily routine. Think outside the box
65. Being adventurous.
66. Be a leader.
67. Putting myself first on my priority.
68. Saying no to the things that I don’t want.
69. Strengthening my physical health.
70. Get to know more about myself.
71. Know more about my finances.
72. Goal of financial independence.
73. Being responsible for my actions.
74. Being kind.
75. Improving my talents.

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


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 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:11 am 
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Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 31
Lesson 5: Identifying Incongruent Values

My Top 15 Values
1. Strengthening my relationship with God.
2. Being responsible for my actions.
3. Be a role model for my family.
4. Be joyful.
5. Build great friendships.
6. Self Improvement.
7. Live with integrity. Be proud of yourself.
8. Physical health.
9. Mental health. Emotional Health
10. Be resourceful.
11. Being sexually desired.
12. Develop a healthy relationship with a woman I’m attracted to.
13. Exercise healthy competition with other men and myself.
14. A goal of financial independence.
15. Improving my talents.


Finished: January 16, 2019

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


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 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:13 am 
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Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 31
Lesson 6: Building Proactive Action Plans I

Proactive Action Plan: Physical Health
• Nutrition
o Eat the right amount of calories needed for body growth.
o Watch videos that provide insight about the healthy foods that I can eat.
o Practice cooking cheap and easy food that can help me when I’m in Manila.
o Avoid taking in junk foods such as chips, sugary sweets, soft drinks, alcohol (only drink when necessary).
o Drink plenty of water (try to drink about 3 refills of your bottled water)
o Incorporate fruits in your diet.
o Be ready to help in cooking to have the food that you want.
• Exercise
o Have an exercise routine every day (most likely in the afternoon or evening: 3 PM – 6 PM)
o Use the app downloaded Home Workouts. Stick to it.
o Watch videos that provide information on the right way to do body weight exercises.
o Incorporate exercise with fun things such as dancing.
o Be ready for body ache. At first, this would be hard.
• Rest
o Sleep comfortably. (Have a blanket, good room temperature, low lighting)
o Sleep a minimum of 8 hours a day.
o Have a good sleeping schedule and stick to it. (10 PM to 6 AM)
o Avoid distractions. Lock my room. It’s okay I think.
• Cleanliness
o Take the time to take a bath.
o Clean yourself properly. Don’t rush taking a bath.
o Change clothes. One shirt and one short per day.
o Do your daily skincare routine.
o Watch videos regarding skin care, like removing back acne, etc.
• Physical appearance
o Groom yourself.
o Watch videos about grooming.
o Watch videos about hair care for men, haircuts, etc.
o Reduce eyebags. (try cucumber, watch videos)
• Relax

Proactive Action Plan: Self Improvement
• Read
o Read great books such as 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (start with this)
o Have a routine for this (early morning, 8 AM to 9 PM)
o At the start you would feel sleepy.
o Sometimes you would feel that you don’t want to read.
• YouTube videos
o Ted Talks
o Gabe Dawg
• Journal Writing
o At night before going to sleep


Proactive Action Plan: Build great friendships
• Check out on old friends.
o Chat old friends from grade school and high school.
o Be ready if there would be rejections.
o Be ready to be judged. They know you as you are few years ago.
o But be yourself. You are a new one now. Don’t let them define you.
o Try to hang out with old friends.
• Befriend your family members.
o Take time to talk to your family members. Befriend and respect my mother. Make her laugh to reduce her stress.
o Befriend your little brother.
o Chat or call my little sister.
o Be a good example for my father.
o Be ready for disappointments.
• Talk to new people the same as your age.
o Smile more when you’re in public.
o Start conversations.
o Take the time to know people.
o Be patient, strong friendships build over long periods of time.
o Don’t push yourself to fit in if you really don’t fit in. People will love you for who you are. Just be yourself.


Completed: January 17, 2019

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


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 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:18 am 
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Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 31
Lesson 7: Building Proactive Plans II

Proactive Action Plan: Strengthening My Relationship with God
• Start your day with God.
o Pray to Him sincerely in the morning.
o Read the Bible in the morning.
• Spend time with Him before going to bed.
o Be thankful for the day.
o Be grateful for what you have right now.
o Ask for guidance in the next day.

Proactive Action Plan: Be joyful
• Meditation
o Have a session of at least 5 minutes every morning.
o Acceptance.
o Letting go.
o Learn more about it by watching YouTube videos.
• Starts inside you. Not on the outside.

Proactive Plan: Goal of financial independence
• Topping the Board Exam (I’m all in)
o Make the necessary preparations now at home.
o Read articles of top-notch students on their bits of advice on how to top the board exam.
o Start small. Gradually picking up the pace.
o If you start in February, you will have approximately 8 months of review. Plan this ahead
o Remember that this would be a journey of patience, self-sacrifice, discipline and praying.
o Enjoy this journey, enjoy studying, find things that make you have fun while studying.
o Have a buddy studying. This will help you study on days that you will feel down.
o Have time to rest. On the first few days remember that studying would be hard. But keep going.
o At the start of the review, the goal would be to top the weekly review classes. Have a great background, have formula cards, have great notes.
o Be ready for failure. But don’t let it put you down! Rest for awhile! Get yourself up! Stand up! And continue the fight!
o Trust in the Lord. Always have faith in Him!

Proactive Plan: Be resourceful
• Always look for the available things that you can use.
• Only buy things when they are really needed.
o Such as smartphones, gadgets, shoes, clothes
• However, there are times that you will be pushed to buy things unnecessarily.
o Those times when there are sale clothes that really has a big discount, shoes that have discounts.
o Deals on the things that you need such as loads or other stuff.

Proactive Plan: Be responsible for my actions
• Think about the consequences of your actions.
o My choices have always had a consequence. Always think of the things that will happen when I do a certain action.
o At first, I may not be perfect. But aim for progress.
o Be disciplined with major things such as the consequence of making a relapse. You always have a choice and it is my responsibility to make the right choice.
• Change bad habits into productive ones.
o My relapse habit was always using my phone before I go into a relapse. Usually before taking a bath. This should be removed and replaced if I want to change completely.
o For a while (maybe for 30 days). Completely avoid using your phone before taking a bath. Don’t bring your phone in the bathroom.

Proactive Plan: Improving my Talents
• I have a talent for music and I love music.
o Take the journey of learning music. Enjoying while learning.
o Have patience in learning the piano. Hopefully, you can finish book 2 this week until Friday.
o Be ready for setbacks. Breath. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Enjoy.
• I want to learn how to dance.
o Watch YouTube videos about dancing.
o Learn the basics.
o You are steps away from that great dancer but practice and effort make a difference.

Proactive Plan: Exercise healthy competition with other man and myself.
• Electronic Games
o Right now, since I am in vacation, I may ask my college friends to play to exercise my competitiveness.
o Just play when the time is right and the time is given.
o Don’t be overwhelmed. Vacation is the vacation. I won’t let this be an addiction.
o Keep calm.
• Review Class
o Be competitive in the review class this coming May 2019. I will top the weekly exams.
o Be ready to have setbacks such as not being in the top for a week or two. Give your best. You can do it.
o Review now. Start reviewing such that you will have an edge with other students. Make the necessary steps.
• Sports
o Learn sports such as Basketball (great for improving teamwork).
o Develop more on the sports that I know such as Badminton.
o Learn something that can lead me to compete in sports.

Proactive Plan: Emotional Health. Mental Health
• Journal Writing
o Whenever there is a strong emotional feeling that I feel that I can’t control or handle at first. Write it in my journal. New feelings that I numbed by using my compulsive behavior and haven’t felt before will arise.
o Be ready to be corrected from the wrong emotional things that I do.
• Meditate
o Meditating every day would provide clearness of thoughts.
o Meditation has many benefits.
• YouTube videos
o Watch TedTalks or other videos such as AlphaSquad that will help me develop manly traits.
• Be ready for extreme emotional feelings from the side effect of transitioning from recovery to health.

Proactive Plan: Live with Integrity. Be proud of yourself.
• Don’t be afraid to speak up.
o Speak what’s really on your mind. Try fast filtering. And only filter when you speak with higher-ups, but just be yourself. It doesn’t matter anyway.
• Your opinions do matter.
o People love those who give their own opinions. Each of us has different things that go through our minds. Each of us has their own backgrounds. Learn to give your opinions.
o Talk to a small group of people first. Start small. One or two would do. It drains energy but you will soon get used to it.
o Be ready for setbacks. You can’t always befriend all people. And expect differences in opinions. There would be conflicts, I assure you.
• It doesn’t matter what people think about you
o It is who you are. Why would you think that people won’t accept you for who you are? They will!
• Showing who I am would take practice, so be patient and don’t expect too much.

Proactive Plan: Be a Role Model to the Family/Be closer to my Family
• Whenever they are here at home, make sure that you are interacting with them. Remove anything that you do and be sure to have quality time with my family.
• Father: Show how to be a man. Take drives.
o “Makisama” with what he wants to do.
o He wants a companion.
o Sometimes, it would be hard to make “makisama” with him. But hold on.
• Mother: Take time to be friends with your mom. Listen to her stories and problems.
o When you go to the grocery or mall. Shop with her.
o Know what she likes and dislikes.
o Be ready for things that I may not like.
o Responsibilities will arise.
• Brother: Play with your little brother when he is at home. Don’t be too hard on him.
o Enjoy playing with my little brother. Just enjoy.
o Play games that are productive.
o Try to teach him life lessons that will help him in the future.
Proactive Plan: Being Sexually Desired
• Physical Appearance
o Look good on the outside appearance.
o Groom yourself.
o Check the fashion trends for men from YouTube, etc.
• Social Skills
o Talk to women. Whenever you have a chance to talk. Talk!
o Be ready for some down times. Off course there would be no one that would be an expert in just a few tries. Practice.
o Develop until I have a skill that can turn awkward moments into great moments.
• Humor
o Violation and Benign
o Watch videos on how to develop a good sense of humor.
o Just be yourself.
o Here, I will practice my creativity. Reduce boredom. Be creative!
• Masculinity
o Read books about masculinity. No More Mr. Nice Guy!
o Practice competition.
• Values and Character
o Have great values. Learn from the Bible.
o Learn how to become a good man. A great man. Not just from looks. But be open to learning.
o Should not be last. But should be the first one to develop. All the other things are just icing to the cake.

Proactive Plan: Develop a Healthy Relationship with a Woman I’m Attracted To
• Talk to women.
o Talk to women. Get to know a lot of women. This way, I can know more about them.
• Get to know at a healthy pace.
o Be subtle. Don’t let them feel so much okay with you. Have boundaries also. Learn from my past mistakes on handling a woman's emotion.
o Be fun when talking or having conversations.
o Be ready for complicated things.
o Be ready if the woman that you like already have a relationship.
o I have my standards. Don’t lower them. Be a man.
o Don’t judge from their past. People change. Know them for who they are now.
• Be yourself.
o Just be yourself. Don’t be afraid to be judged by other.
o If they judge you, it’s their fault. You’re great!



Finished: February 01, 2019

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


Last edited by DanRecovers on Wed Feb 06, 2019 5:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:20 am 
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Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 31
Lesson 10: Absolute Honesty in Recovery

I.
I lied both of my Parents.
I lied to my brother and sister.
I lied to those people living in our household.
I lied to my cousins.
I lied to my friends.
I lied to those women I’m attracted to.
I lied to my church leaders.
I lied to those people that are really close to me.

II.
I’m not involved in a partnership.

III.
I’m not involved in counseling.

IV.
In my laptop. I downloaded from the internet and had saved then back when I was still in high school.
In my phone. I used my phone to store those explicit videos.
In my PSP. I used it to store those that I downloaded from the internet.

V.
Eya – used her to have my fantasies be filled. Such as in texting, visit in her condo, etc.
rene – another way to satisfy my cravings. Used her on my free time back when I was in my 4th year college.
Yeng – used to look at her when I was in high school.
Clarra – used her when I was in 2nd year college.
Esha – recent, from my OJT. I used her time to satisfy my compulsive behavior.

List of actresses
Audrey
Sophie
Sunny
Kagney
Allison
Matsumoto
Tachikawa
RION (Utsunomiya)
Nishina
Satomi
Karlee
Noelle
Hitomi
Hosaka
Fowler
Nishikawa

VI.
Comfort room.
Alone in my room/any room.
Internet


Completed: January 26, 2019

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


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 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:28 am 
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Posts: 31
Lesson 11: Assessing Your Compulsive Behavior

Fantasy
1. Fantasy – all of us fantasize
2. Romantic Delusion – had this romantic delusion with one of my high school classmates. It was about 2 years before I got over it, on and off.

Masturbation
1. Self stimulation – started with this. My grade school classmates would tell me that it was too good. Then I tried it.
2. Stimulation by artificial means – used different objects such as DIY fleshlights, oil and lotions.

Pornography
1. Stimulation by use of pictures – started this one when I was in grade 6 primary school
2. Stimulation by use of sexually explicit videos – then, escalated to a higher form of high, watched videos to get more stimulation.
3. Stimulation by use of sexually explicit art – didn’t know that the use of cartoons for stimulation is a higher form of my addiction.

Vouyeuring, Exhibitionism and Stalking
1. Vouyeuring – done this to our former maids when I was a little boy.
2. Exhibitionism – I don’t know why, But I have done this when I was a little boy with my playmates, cousins, and my little sister.
3. Stalking – have done this with many people in the past. A sign of low self-esteem.


Finished: January 26, 2019

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


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 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:31 am 
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Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 31
Lesson 12: Recognizing Unhealthy Recovery Patterns

Four Common Patterns Seen in Workshop Participants
1. I can see my past self in this recovery pattern or maybe even today. During the first few days of my recovery journey, I would be very enthusiastic about the things that I do. However, my emotions would be the one that will control me. If I’m happy, I would do great or would be doing great in the work that I do. However, if I’m sad, I would slack off or would not do great in the tasks given to me. Instead of controlling my emotions, I let my emotions control me. I’m impulsive, I would not think the effects of the things that I do and my choices, such as playing instead of doing some projects or thesis. Resulting in those failures I had in my life.
2. Had returned to recovery since then. Again. Been doing recovery. I hope and pray that this time, I would transition from recovery to healthy life.
3. Sincerity, Passion, Doing the Extra Mile, Asking Questions, Posting in the Recovery Thread. Things that I should develop in order to have a great transition of recovery to health.
4. The cross paths, in this journey. Remember to take the better option, not chaos.

Those Who Struggle with a Relapse
I do believe in the past that I’m experiencing my fate. However, I always have a choice, whether to relapse, or not to relapse.
I always use “powerlessness” as my reason in the things that happen to me. I should have self-control. I am the leader and controller of my own decisions. And I should have the responsibility for the things that I do.
I always give in to relapse triggers. “An opportunity to act out”.
Due to these, I often experience selfish thoughts such as “Why am I doing this to myself?” or “I want to end this journey, I will not succeed anyway.”


Completed: January 28, 2019

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


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 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:32 am 
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Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 31
Lesson 13: Healthy Recovery Patterns

1. I can recognize myself with some of those in the “early recovery: understanding/recognizing the behavior” and most in the “middle recovery: actual recovery”.
I display some of the traits in the “those who will occasionally struggle with a relapse” such as convincing others that I am well and not addicted by showing behaviors such as hyper-religiosity and hyper recovery. Sometimes, I also feel mild emotions that I can’t control. Additionally, I sometimes hyper-analyze situations in my life that lead me not living the life that I should be living.

Right now, I have accepted that I am struggling with a certain immoral behavior that I should stop. My desire now comes from the goals that I want in my life and not from others or anything illusory that will not really take place. I am no more focused on ending my bad habit, instead, I am more focused on building habits that will keep me going and cope up with life. Additionally, all the feelings that I am feeling right now are the same with how other people feel with their lives every day. Anxiety, stress, fear, sadness, loneliness and failures, all these things are part of life and I will not run away with life anymore. I do sometimes feel an emotional relapse due to the consequences made by my behavior in my life such as the things that I am feeling with my family, to those women I used for my own and to those people that I had dragged down with my compulsive behavior.
I want to develop that I can do decisions that are based on what I think is right and not with the things that I can get away with. Additionally, I want to accept that I am in the present now, instead of looking back in the past and making amendments with myself. There may be times wherein I would need to mend the things and situation in different relationships such as my image and status within my circle of friends and this would take effort and time. But I should be patient.

Some of the things that I want to accomplish as I begin my path from recovery to health would be that I want to be fully confident with who I am and with my ability to manage my life that I am planning and having a well-paced progression with accomplishing my goals and wants in life. Additionally, I would want to gain that expertise that I would no longer avoid trigger moments in my life since I already developed the arsenal that I need for me not to relapse and take on life even with experiencing those triggers. Lastly, I would want to achieve to eliminate myself with the recovery process, as I have already can manage myself and life and I am now associated with health.

2. In my assessment, those of the values that I chose are inline with me taking the path to health. What I do value and something that has meaning are the ones listed in the top 15 of my value list.


Completed: January 29, 2019 

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


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 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 6:32 am 
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Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 31
Lesson 14: Health Monitoring I

Initial Questionnaires
Health Monitoring I:

1. Did I pray before going out of bed in the morning and before going to sleep?
2. Did I read the Bible today and used the app Our Daily Bread?
3. Have I made something or added something to my crazy things to do list today?
4. Did I exercise today using the app Home Workouts?
5. Did I took time cleaning myself up with effort?
6. Have I took in enough healthy calories that will sustain my bulking up diet?
7. Have I read/watched/listened to something today that will help me improve myself (ex. Recovery Nation, Gabe Dawg, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People/Teens)?
8. Have I asked even just one friend today how he/she is?
9. Have I talked to someone new today?
10. Did I laugh today? True laughter with me making things that are crazy or fun.
11. Is there something I did today that I used my creativity in fun? (Dancing like nobody cares, being crazy, thinking outside the box, singing)
12. Have I worked for myself today? (ex. doing house chores, reviewing for the board exam, doing the things being asked by my parents)
13. Have I tried to find another way that will lessen the cause/help in making something improve today (something resourceful)?
14. Is there something today that I let my emotions take ahead of me?
a. If there is, how can I change it or make an improvement?
15. Have I played/learned something new in the piano/guitar today for at least 30 mins?
16. Have I sung today/recorded something that will further the quality of my voice?
17. Have I watched a YouTube video that will help me improve my talent?
18. Have I pushed myself to the limit today (review, exercise, etc.)?
19. Have I exercised my competitiveness through healthy things such as physical strength, mental strength or emotional strength?
20. Have I meditated today for at least 10 mins.?
21. Did I look at myself today in the mirror telling that I am worth it and telling words of assurance or did something for myself today?
22. Have I done something today for my family (for my mom, dad, brother or sister)?
23. Is there something that I learned in improving my appearance today?
24. Did I talk to a woman I’m attracted to today?
25. Have I made a woman laugh today?


Finished: February 02, 2019

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


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 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 12:44 pm 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 5:29 am
Posts: 363
Hi Dan,

In Lesson 1 you wrote
Quote:
I am tired or bored to read and uses my time for other stuff that makes me happy or lessens my stress.

and in Lesson 12
Quote:
Four Common Patterns Seen in Workshop Participants
1. I can see my past self in this recovery pattern or maybe even today. During the first few days of my recovery journey, I would be very enthusiastic about the things that I do. However, my emotions would be the one that will control me. If I’m happy, I would do great or would be doing great in the work that I do. However, if I’m sad, I would slack off or would not do great in the tasks given to me. Instead of controlling my emotions, I let my emotions control me. I’m impulsive, I would not think the effects of the things that I do and my choices, such as playing instead of doing some projects or thesis. Resulting in those failures I had in my life.

You will come to see that sexual addiction revolves heavily around our emotions and how we manage them. As you progress through the workshop you will learn the tools on how to do just that.

Also in Lesson 1 you wrote
Quote:
C. Picture of me when I was an innocent child
(insert photo)

This is a valuable exercise to undertake and you will see the value of it in due course so I would recommend that you go back to this

With that, welcome to RN.

If you really do want to improve your life and to recover from your compulsive behaviours then you are at a good place to make that a reality
To achieve recovery then commit , fully and completely

Work through the lessons and understand them , if you miss something ask on the help forum, assistance is always on hand, this community is supportive to those who demonstrate sincerity in their journey

Coaches and mentors are likely to drop by occasionally but if not, don't worry as this is generally a good indicator that you are on the right path, you have not been abandoned

The path is long and difficult but it is well proven and you are not alone, many have taken the path successfully, be open be honest, nobody here will judge you
get to know your addiction and see yourself with honesty and openness

Remember to work at your own pace and its not a race indeed some consider recovery to be a journey rather than a destination. I suspect that you have been working on the lessons for a little while and are just posting everything here in the one go, moving forwards we would recommend no more than a lesson a day and most tend to feel more comfortable with 2 or 3 lessons a week. It is obviously your choice but the important thing is to allow sufficient time to digest what you are learning.

I look forward to monitoring you progress through your thread.

_________________
L2R

A clean life; a clear conscience


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 Post subject: Re: Dan's Recovery
PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2019 7:26 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 4:13 am
Posts: 31
Lesson 15: A Healthy Perception of Addiction

One thing that I learned about my recovery journey from the past few weeks was that I should put effort (real effort) in the recovery journey if I really want to progress my already advance journey toward success. From my past recovery trials, I always fail. And I knew that the cause was that I’m not giving my all in pursuing recovery in my life. In the past, there was still the “what if or I can’t leave my compulsive behavior”. And right now, I will give my all in the recovery process and put an effort into the recovery process.


Completed: February 03, 2019

---------------
Thank you so much for the reply L2R :)

Yes, I have finished the lessons ahead of time before posting them here, I'm so sorry for flooding the forum with so much information.

It really gives me a better feeling that I'm not alone in this journey of recovery. But no matter what happens, I'm all into the transition to good health.

Dan

_________________
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)


Last edited by DanRecovers on Thu Feb 07, 2019 7:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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