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 Post subject: Women SA
PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 1:58 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 29, 2017 10:46 am
Posts: 38
Hi all,
Are there any women on here that are sex addicts?
I am just starting the recovery path after doing stage 1 of the couples program.
I have been sober for 15 months and have been seeing a sex therapist. I have also been in AA 12 step meetings for 9 years as I am/ was( not sure and confused about this) an alcoholic. I was in recovery from SA and alcohol for the first 3 years, when I first got recovery in 2008. But as I never did the core work on myself as soon as life got tough I relapsed in SA. I am still sober and have been working a health based recovery since June 2016. But I am struggling to decide if I can use this model with alcohol? My partner hates AA with good reason as all my affairs were with men from there and it was the perfect acting out ground, but he is still convinced alcoholism is different to SA as you cannot recover from it. My therapist agrees with me that I can be totally healthy in all areas as long as I do the work. I know he is terrified I will think I can drink again but I won't and that's not what I want. I just want to believe I can recovery from ALL addictions and be healthy.
I have always struggled with SA and have never been able to be faithful even though I truly love and adore my guy. I had a very screwed up childhood with sex abuse from 6 and as a result I have very messed up emotions and values which I am addressing now.
I would love someone to share with or any views on other addictions would be great.
Thank you


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 Post subject: Re: Women SA
PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 1:38 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3371
Location: UK
Hello Osctaz

Code:
Are there any women on here that are sex addicts?


for sure , there has been and will be
but what difference does it make
addicts are addicts no matter what sex, religion or race

Quote:
I just want to believe I can recovery from ALL addictions and be healthy.


you can
do the work, ingrain what you learn and be honest, admit your failings but dont accept them, own them

Quote:
I would love someone to share with or any views on other addictions would be great.

this community does support all those who commit to make progress even when progress stalls, nobody is here to judge, we all start from the same place and all aim to be the best that we can

I believe the programme can help with all addictions but do remember that it is only a road map
the participants need to formulate and adopt their own values, manage their own urges and emotions etc etc

jump on in what do you have to lose?

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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 Post subject: Re: Women SA
PostPosted: Thu Sep 14, 2017 4:18 am 
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Joined: Mon May 29, 2017 10:46 am
Posts: 38
Hi Kenzo,
Thanks for the reply. The only reason I am asking if there are any women on here, is as I think(need to check our accountability contract) my partner would not be happy with me sharing too much with a guy ( for obvious reasons) that's all.

As for other addictions, after 9 years of believing a diseased based recovery was the only way for all addictions, I have had a bit of a problem believing and truly accepting a health based recovery that doesn't class me a "sick, insane and forever an addict/alcoholic". But I think I can finally let go of these beliefs now, even if my partner is very fearful of this meaning I will want to drink again. Which I don't, nothing would make me want to go back there.

I can see now that even though I've spent the last 15 months not acting out and in recovery getting well, I wish I had done this program earlier! All the things I have struggled with so far are covered in a way that makes total sense, but maybe I needed that year to clear my head and get truly honest, which I did after many attempts at disclosure with the help of a therapeutic disclosure.

Any way I have now committed to working through the individual path (after doing the couples stage 1, which was excellent) and am ready to start posting my work, now I understand how it works.

My life has been wasted and I have caused so much pain to my partner and myself I am totally committed to complete health.

Thanks again

Osctaz


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 Post subject: Re: Women SA
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2017 2:33 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 16, 2017 3:56 pm
Posts: 76
Location: Blighty. Hence the spelling.
Quote:
Are there any women on here that are sex addicts?


Quote:
for sure , there has been and will be
but what difference does it make
addicts are addicts no matter what sex, religion or race


I understand why you would want to seek someone of the same gender. I'm sure there are differences for women.
My wife would not like me speaking to a woman on line specifically and my SA didn't involve affairs, but as Kenzo says we're all addicts here.
There is an irony that the internet has been the cause or seriously contributed to our downfall and get here we are using it to heal ourselves.
Keep your posts healthy and honest! :p


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