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PostPosted: Sun Apr 04, 2021 12:46 am 
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Joined: Sat Jul 11, 2020 10:31 pm
Posts: 5
I have heard it said that the opposite of addiction is connection and that isolation feeds addiction. I would like to hear others view points on the possibility of a successful recovery from addiction when the man is isolating and trying to recover on his own by doing the following. Attending therapy with a CSAT once every 2 weeks and doing one lesson a week on the recovery nation recovery workshop. Other then that, they have zero friends who are in recovery, their only 2 friends they spend time with like to drink, go to bars and also look at porn so they do not appear to be healthy choices for a person in recovery. There is no sponsor, no accountability partner and no attendance of 12 step meetings. What are your thoughts on the chances that this person is in true recovery? I am asking this question to help in my own healing as the wife of an addict who is trying to determine her husbands sincerity and decide if I need to make some boundaries regarding the issue for my own safety and healing. trying to determine if my feeling like the above is not true recovery is valid or if I am over reacting and expecting too much from him. Thank you for your input.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2021 7:38 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 4026
Location: UK
Hello runaway
sorry for the delayed response but I was hoping to see responses from the "white" side as they would probably be better to advise from their personal experiences
nevertheless
Quote:
I would like to hear others view points on the possibility of a successful recovery from addiction when the man is isolating and trying to recover on his own


In my experences recovery is "done alone"
for sure support and encouragement is often there from others including from our communities but in particular from our partners

but recovery is ours and our alone even though it, or more so lack of it, affects others close to us
Is your partner in recovery?
believe me only he really knows
addicts are great liars we all lied to all, in particular to ourselves
right upto and often beyond being caught

If he is in recovery great, because the reality is if he is not then he remains the biggest loser
for sure our partners pay a massive price but addicts continuing in addiction pay for that forever

my simple but likely oft repeated but not truly heeded advice, is for partners to realise and accept that they carry no blame, our addiction is not about you



Quote:
What are your thoughts on the chances that this person is in true recovery? I am asking this question to help in my own healing as the wife of an addict who is trying to determine her husbands sincerity and decide if I need to make some boundaries regarding the issue for my own safety and healing.


I often see partners write "follow your gut" it is great advice

Put boundaries in place, protect yourself and your healing, you matter, cherish that

Not sure if any of this helps but hoping it does
also hoping he is recovering and advising that we on the dark side are there in support should he be in need and being fully commited

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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