Recovery Nation

Personal Development Forum
It is currently Thu Dec 12, 2019 9:19 pm

All times are UTC - 5 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: My patterns and values
PostPosted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 9:45 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Sep 23, 2015 6:34 pm
Posts: 32
I am glad to be divorced from porn. I was actually relieved when my wife caught me. I knew there would be a lot of pain and resentment, but I also knew I wouldn't stop without being caught.

Now I feel good about my life moving forward. Even through any success I had in the past, there was always a nagging feeling that I wasn't the person I wanted to be. I did not want to lie to my wife, and now I no longer am. I feel like I have a very low amount of unhealthy patterns that continue to diminish, and my healthy patterns are propelling me to move forward in the program.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2015 8:22 am 
Offline
Recovery Coach

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:55 pm
Posts: 1209
I do not want to discourage you, but I need to let you know that even though you say you are happy to be "divorced" from porn and that you were relieved when your wife caught you, you need to be prepared for the part of your mind/brain/personality which is not pleased about those things. You need to be prepared for when your addict brain starts to buck the new system your rational brain has put into motion.

I like your optimism; it will help. However, what I hear/think when I read your post is more of a blind eye than is good for you. That low level of unhealthy patterns and behavior is part of the process, and you need to be realistically prepared for when the addict conditioning returns. It will hit back, and I don't want you to think it is going to be easy. Certainly some addicts have an easier time than others, but one thing is certain, the addicts who think their initial transition is the worst of it are woefully unprepared for what is coming next.

I am happy to see this is not your first post, but I am cautious in that you are making declarations which feel as if you do not fully understand understand what is happening yet. Keep working and be vigilant.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Dec 20, 2015 5:53 pm 
Offline
Recovery Coach

Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 3:38 am
Posts: 263
I have to echo Coach Sandalwood. You'll soon be discovering that it's not that easy and you can't just divorce yourself from porn after a few weeks/months of abstinence. Inevitable the urges return when your life goes off balance. Continue working hard on the workshop lessons and don't let yourself fall prey to complacency which is incredibly easy to do in the early part of recovery. Acknowledge that it's going to be a long process and it will be a struggle but it's all incredibly worth it in the end. You deserve the life you've envisioned for yourself, one based on honesty, family, friends, values, and health.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group