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PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2016 7:07 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 9:52 am
Posts: 98
Location: Ger
Hey, I've used the search function but couldn't find anything about this. So I'm currently doing exercise 14, but I'm unsure how to proceed. Do I use the monitoring list to reflect about those items I've chosen? Or do I use it like a journal and write down the answers to the questions I'm asking. If I would do that it would take me definitely much longer than 5 minutes. So is it right that you just read the list once per day and then actively reflect on the areas you wrote down?

Greetings!


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2016 8:37 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:55 pm
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Have your list memorized since there should only be five to seven items on that list, and take a few minutes at the end of each day to reflect as to how you interacted with each of those values. Be certain to be both specific and honest. The object is to focus on five to seven values and establishing them as genuine values in your daily life. You do not need to write anything down which goes beyond any writing you normally do, but if you have taken to writing a recovery journal (or thread) it would be a good idea to devote some of that time towards addressing this exercise once or twice a week.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2016 9:38 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 9:52 am
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Location: Ger
Okay, great that's how I wanted to implement it. I'll write down my thoughts about the monitoring, like I reflect everything else. I would love to keep a thread here, but english isn't my first language so it's pretty difficult to translate all my thoughts properly.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2016 6:45 pm 
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Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3829
Location: UK
Hey AS
Quote:
I would love to keep a thread here, but english isn't my first language so it's pretty difficult to translate all my thoughts properly.


you are doing pretty well with a language that is not your first :g:
remember nobody here will judge you and the value of a thread is worth the extra effort, but it is your recovery hence your choice

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Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 2:02 am 
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Joined: Tue Oct 22, 2013 12:47 pm
Posts: 694
Hi axelswagger,

Just to add on what's being said here.
Kenzo wrote:
the value of a thread is worth the extra effort

The value of a thread lies in you putting yourself out there, stepping out of your comfort zone, standing naked - so to speak - in front of yourself and others. There is a tremendous force in that, it makes a statement about your commitment to yourself, it makes you invest in yourself, the more effort you put in, the more meaningful the whole experience will be for you and the more potential it has to change your perceptions and ultimately life.

Secondly, there is the added benefit of you being able to receive feedback on your thoughts. There is great value in having others who've walked in your shoes guide you through the process, challenging you to see things from different perspectives, helping you to deepen your understanding, giving you a kick if you become complaceant or simply supporting and encouraging you when things get rough.

And thirdly, you have a chance to exercise a foreign language, that's a valuable skill in itself. English is not my native language either and sometimes it's hard to say what I want and I need to use the dictionary everytime but it has become a lot easier. So, why not go for it?

Cheers,
Ursula

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"A wholehearted attention feels like the nurturing presence that I always wished I had in a parent. Now I am free to be there for myself in a way that I assumed I needed from someone else." Tara Bennett-Goleman, Emotional Alchemy


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2016 6:23 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 9:52 am
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Location: Ger
I can definitely see the extra value of a recovery thread. Especially in the context of this workshop. Currently I'm actively engaged in the reddit "pornfree" community, but I might make the switch. I guess it's more helpful for my progress to exchange with people, that made similar experiences and that know the workshop. I'll look into it, when I work on my session later this afternoon. Thanks for the encouragement!


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2016 9:57 am 
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Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2010 8:54 am
Posts: 1377
Both Alex and Ursual are amazing English writers!

One other value of the thread is helping with honesty. when writing my response to a lesson, I found that if I lied about my progress, about acting out etc, I could tell at once. The act of writing things down made it harder to maintain my own belief in the delusion. It may take a few days, but it would haunt me.

what I found eventually was that my thread became a place I could confide anything. This was often shameful and embarrassing, but I wrote things here I had never spoken to anyone else.

Your thread is a lesson and a diary. But the real work starts when you live the values and plans you write down.

Shaw


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2016 1:45 am 
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Joined: Tue Oct 22, 2013 12:47 pm
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Shaw72 wrote:
One other value of the thread is helping with honesty. when writing my response to a lesson, I found that if I lied about my progress, about acting out etc, I could tell at once. The act of writing things down made it harder to maintain my own belief in the delusion. It may take a few days, but it would haunt me.


So very true! This has also been my own experience. I was amazed to find out that writing things down helped with detecting my delusions/justifications/excuses. Sometimes it would happen within the same post (yeah, I do write loooong posts), by the time I got to the end of it, I would see how full of BS the beginning was. It surely helps putting your thoughts in writing, unrestrictedly and keeping an eye on the flow of thoughts and emotions, if they make sense, if they connect logically and naturally, how I react to what I write, if it seems right or not-so-right, if I have reservations, if it seems like it's not really the whole truth. Sometimes I would make three different excuses in the same sentence. Not so obvious when you keep it all in your head. Writing things down seemed like a mirror reflection, more accurate than the one I had in my head.

_________________
"A wholehearted attention feels like the nurturing presence that I always wished I had in a parent. Now I am free to be there for myself in a way that I assumed I needed from someone else." Tara Bennett-Goleman, Emotional Alchemy


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