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PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2016 10:00 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:31 pm
Posts: 246
We have finally found a therapist in our area that is a "LICENSED MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST, CERTIFIED SEXUAL RECOVERY THERAPIST" who practices cognitive behavioral therapy.
Has anyone here been through this type of therapy?
Did/does it seem to work for sex/love addiction issues as they are defined here on RN?
Did it help?


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2016 7:33 am 
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Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:55 pm
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I have not been through cognitive therapy with my wife, but I did go through therapy which used the cognitive approach, and I can say with 100% honesty that it worked on several levels for me. It does not erase or solve the problem, but it will help you see the problem fro a different perspective and help provide a clear pathway for you to work through on your road to recovery. I think that is true about most therapy approaches, but my therapy helped me to discover several things which have shed light on both the pathology of my addiction and the methodology I used to slip deeper into it over several years.

Therapy is also where I was able to have an accurate diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome, which unlocked so many doors. Again, my therapy did not do the heavy lifting, the work of repairing my marriage, but taught me how to better frame the questions and solutions so I could make my way down a corrective path.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2016 2:44 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jun 13, 2013 11:56 am
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Location: Sweden
Hi 62

Many elements of the workshop are very similar to cognitive therapy, I.E. the mapping of behaviour and trying to replace or adapt that behaviour as to be more functional or in line with who you want to be.

There are several different variants of cognitive therapy, so the relevant question to ask to your therapist when you meet him or her, is what type of therapist he or she is and how he or she usually works with couples. That will tell you more about the suitability of the therapist than what basic theory he or she bases the work on.

From my own experience, I would personally say it's more important, perhaps imperative, that the therapist in question believes in sex and love addiction as an addiction, or is at least willing to work with that concept. Some therapists don't, seeing only different types of drug habits as worthy of being called addictive, and some therapists even belittle sex and love addiction, which is something you and your wife don't need at this point.

Hope that clears things up a bit.
:g:


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2016 10:42 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:31 pm
Posts: 246
THANK YOU BOTH for the comments and explanations.

I reread my original post and can see that it implies that we would be going for couples therapy. That may or may not happen down the road a bit. For now it will likely be each of us individually.

Coach Sandlewood, I am looking forward to seeing things from any viewpoint that will help me to get at my core issues, face them and heal. I KNOW the "heavy lifting" for rebuilding my marriage is mostly mine to do and I will gladly do whatever it takes.

Coach Martin, thank you for the questions to ask. It will be a male therapist for me, at least for the foreseeable future. My love addiction in particular doesn't allow for the other choice, not yet anyway.

Again THANK YOU both!!!!!

P.H.P.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:29 am 
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Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 3:38 am
Posts: 263
Quote:
From my own experience, I would personally say it's more important, perhaps imperative, that the therapist in question believes in sex and love addiction as an addiction, or is at least willing to work with that concept. Some therapists don't, seeing only different types of drug habits as worthy of being called addictive, and some therapists even belittle sex and love addiction, which is something you and your wife don't need at this point.


I just wanted to echo this. I had a therapist who thought I was just being overly critical of myself and it was perfectly natural to watch porn. She just didn't understand sexual addiction and the fact that I was watching porn up to 6 hours a day and masturbating at work made it clear to me that I had a very big issue and a real addiction. Some therapists just don't believe it and I'd stay very far away from them because she just delayed my recovery by about a year.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 9:38 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 15, 2015 9:52 am
Posts: 98
Location: Ger
CoachRobert wrote:
Quote:
From my own experience, I would personally say it's more important, perhaps imperative, that the therapist in question believes in sex and love addiction as an addiction, or is at least willing to work with that concept. Some therapists don't, seeing only different types of drug habits as worthy of being called addictive, and some therapists even belittle sex and love addiction, which is something you and your wife don't need at this point.


I just wanted to echo this. I had a therapist who thought I was just being overly critical of myself and it was perfectly natural to watch porn. She just didn't understand sexual addiction and the fact that I was watching porn up to 6 hours a day and masturbating at work made it clear to me that I had a very big issue and a real addiction. Some therapists just don't believe it and I'd stay very far away from them because she just delayed my recovery by about a year.


Just chipping in a third opinion. I made somewhat the same experience. My therapist "believes" more in fixing the personal reasons of addiction. So the practical work like in this workshop comes a bit short. She does believe in problematic sex/love behavior but her overall approach is pretty different from the workshop. But I'm fine with it, since working on my healing is pretty important to me and the workshop itself is a pretty good complement to work on the practical areas of addiction.

So what I want to say, even though many excercises from this workshop are pretty close to CBT therapists may differ and everyone has kind of his/her own style of work. Just make sure they understand what you mean by love/sex addiction.


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