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 Post subject: Reap what we sew?
PostPosted: Tue Jun 14, 2016 2:18 am 
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Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2012 4:05 am
Posts: 199
Well here I sit in a pool of my own misery... Infidelity has struck me. Yeah me the 30 plus year porn/sex addict. Yeah me the one that 3 years ago emotionally and mentally broke my wife of 18 years this july, selfishly watched uncountable hrs of porn instead of taking my already dressed in lingerie on Valentine's day. Would most of you who read this and say "ah, he had it coming?" That is exactly how I feel when analyzing my wife's recent one year affair...


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 Post subject: Re: Reap what we sew?
PostPosted: Tue Jun 14, 2016 7:50 am 
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Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2014 1:38 pm
Posts: 67
Hi Cotton.

I think you need to understand that it probably isn't about you. It's not about revenge. It's about her. We partners go through hell and then we're stuck in limbo waiting to see if you guys will ever 'get it'. I'm 2.5 years on and the temptation to say 'screw this' and move on with my life is sometimes strong. Honestly, if someone offered I can't swear I wouldn't start a new relationship tomorrow. Humans aren't good with uncertainty and powerlessness but that's exactly where someone else's addiction puts us. It's not about what you had coming. Its about what need the affair fulfilled. That's where the scary.grown-up stuff comes in. Whatever happens though remember that you are responsible for your own recovery and keeping true to your values whatever she's done.

With compassion.

Shell Shocked

_________________
'The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows'. Buddha.


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 Post subject: Re: Reap what we sew?
PostPosted: Tue Jun 14, 2016 7:20 pm 
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Partner's Coach (Admin)

Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2007 3:07 pm
Posts: 5200
Hello,

I have moved this thread to the Recovery Community Support forum as the benefit of posting in the partner's side is unclear.

Be well.

_________________
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. (Viktor E. Frankl)


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