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 Post subject: In a bad space
PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2016 12:07 am 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Thu Oct 24, 2013 12:26 pm
Posts: 189
I havent been here for a long while, guilt and shame of my relapsing has kept me away from seeking help, i had held out for so long but i know i had not let go of my demons, im really struggling emotionally and failing to cope with even the simplest of tasks, i know i made my bed and now i must lie in it, my life is such a mess, i dont know which way to turn i feel so lonely and lost, i realize the terrible pain i have caused my wife and my family. I should have been protecting them not hurting them. I have thrown away what could have been a great life, I had it all and yet never appreciated...oooh it hurts but im my own worst enemy, my own torturer, my own tormenter and i need to find a way out of this hole, im just rumbling....

_________________
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.


Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens.


Carl Jung


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 Post subject: Re: In a bad space
PostPosted: Sat Jul 02, 2016 12:14 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 3:06 am
Posts: 518
Hi thisiscumbersome,

I acknowledge you pain and we are here with you. You are heading a good direction self disclosing here. I'm a firm believer honesty is a path through addiction, recovery, and life, and encourage it. Get the help you need right now, apply what you know in your heart helps you live your full potential, allow the unkown to happen and trust the process and your intuition. You may have not apprecciated some things in the past, and you can appreciate things now to respect your past experience. One thing that helps me is asking yourself and or others what you are grateful for right now, everyday, perhaps many times a day. The only way out is through and I am doubtless you can move through this. Its just a skill that needs more practice and habituation. You can discover your greatness again and again even when things spin like this. I hear you, I've been there. I offer you a kick in the butt and a hug :ex:

What skills do you find lacking or contracting and what skills do you find expanding/growing?


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 Post subject: Re: In a bad space
PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2016 1:22 am 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Thu Oct 24, 2013 12:26 pm
Posts: 189
Thanks Laughingchild for the encouragement. I am in a better place now, i even feel ashamed i was whining for a few days of pain yet i put my wife in that hole since we met, what i feel is nothing compared to what she has been through. I wish i could go back and change every wrong choice and decision i ever made but i cant, what i can do though is learn from the past so i do not make the same mistakes and hurt the people i love. I am getting help and you have raised important questions there, i need to evaluate myself and see where im lacking and what needs improvement. I have to get back to the basics, reestablishing goals and aligning with my values. The worst thing is to fall and not being able to get up, this has been my problem. I am up now and back on track, i need to put in a lot of hard and honest work.

_________________
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.


Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens.


Carl Jung


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