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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2017 4:39 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jan 21, 2017 11:50 am
Posts: 22
Now i do feel pressure that bulds up and i think if i dont do something about it and just try to fight against it by willpower, itch will stay for long time. But reminding myself of emotions finit power or re reading why i started this recovery just fades it for a short time and it just comes back.
Im feeling very immature in facing with this sort of emotions.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 8:28 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:55 pm
Posts: 1209
You need to find a distraction. When I was in early recovery, I created a series of three very complicated mantras/admonitions to remind myself of my values and goals. I forced myself to say them all perfectly in succession five times. I had to be able to recite them all perfectly, or I had to start over. It wasn't about reminding myself, it was about getting my brain to be distracted for a few minutes, to focus on something positive util I had to be somewhere else or I was doing something else, other than obsessing on my urges to act out and revert to my addictive behavior. It worked more than it failed. You might want to try it or something similar.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 10:19 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3793
Location: UK
Hello Pittermit
As Coach S says when confronted with an urge in early recovery you need to distract your mind
walk, exercise look at the sky read anything
I used to talk aloud to myself talking to my alter egos
I would ask why was I having an urge
why now
what would it give me
what would it cost me
why would I succumb
I would beat down those "voices in my head"
I would realise that they existed and had power because I chose to let them
I would reflect on my reasons for wanting to change
beat the urge and learn from the experience
Whatever works for you works so long as it is healthy and non compulsive
good luck

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 11:52 am 
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Joined: Sat Jan 21, 2017 11:50 am
Posts: 22
Maybe answering this questions :
https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments ... revention/

but also doing hard stuffs will deplete needed mental energy and willpower necessary for when i face with urges.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2017 1:49 am 
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Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2016 1:14 am
Posts: 14
Hi Pittermit,

I'd avoid trying to reason with yourself too much when you feel a lot of pressure. The more time you give over to debating whether it's a good or bad idea to act out, the more power you give to the desire to act out. The desire often feeds off attention. Even if you rationally conclude "this is definitely not the right thing to do", by spending time giving attention to the feeling you have that you need to act out, the feeling can grow in strength until it becomes almost overwhelming and you end up doing it anyway, even though you know you should not.

As others have said, distraction is a useful tool. The feelings you have will pass, they will not stay. If you can distract yourself for long enough - maybe an hour, maybe a day, maybe a few days - you will find yourself on the other side of that feeling again, back in a normal state. It won't be easy, but it is 100% possible.

If you haven't ever given meditation a try, I'd recommend it. It helped me to more clearly see that feelings really do pass. It also allowed me to put a bit more distance between myself and any urges that were arising. Of course, it takes time and energy to make a habit out of meditation. I went for 60 days, several times per day, and still stopped doing it. But most of the time, during those 60 days, it was easier to deal with urges. I was also able to gain some perspective on the activity of acting out itself - to detach from the pleasure it offered me, and to focus on the reality of it and really let that reality sink in: the way it is all imaginary, the way it is a pointless fix that goes around in circles, the way it is all just pixels on a screen - tiny squares of light - that I am looking at, not anything more, the way it sucks up time, the way it makes me unhappy, the way it affects my mental clarity, the way it can alter perception, and much more (if my mind wandered a lot during meditation, so I was struggling to have a good session, I would choose to focus it on the problems I was having, and think deeply on those, which helped with the above).

If you'd like advice on how to meditate, I would be happy to offer it. It's super easy to do. It can be boring, but you can also overcome that feeling of boredom, to learn to accept it. And I think it's useful to train ourselves to accept uncomfortable feelings.

_________________
Ever tried. Ever Failed. No Matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail Better.
- Samuel Beckett


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 12, 2017 3:09 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 16, 2017 3:56 pm
Posts: 96
Location: Blighty. Hence the spelling.
Conventional thinking says to R.U.N.
Remove yourself from the situation
Undistort your thinking
Never forget what you have to lose

Write your future self a letter explaining why you should not act out, what you have to lose etc.
Carry this with you and when you are feeling pressure then read it.

I also have a coin that is my emergency stop. Something to ground the mind.


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