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PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 1:24 pm 
Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 3945
Location: UK
I got somewhere that 1% of the population could be affected by sex addiction in some form

could be
and I guess increasing
the problem is that almost all deny it and of those that do admit that they have a problem, most do not seek to change

that is why we should praise and credit Jon for his record-breaking programme and support those who commit and fully engage with it
even taking the time to pat our own backs, but beware complacency

Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo

PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 11:58 pm 

Joined: Thu May 14, 2015 7:14 pm
Posts: 215
Just reading through the posts is helpful . . .there is such consistency in how I am and how my crap has affected my wife . . .I am just so fortunate that she has been stronger than I ever have been and has such a love for our family as to hold us and our family together . . .I become aware more and more as I gain ounces of maturity as to places I just cannot go either physically or in conversation not because they would be trouble for me as much as trouble for her mind to go back to the fact that she married such an asshole! I try to not even be in a position where it might even give the slightest of impression that I am doing something I should not be doing or have done in the past . . .thanks for the encouragement and taking the time every once in a while to contribute to the conversation. It is indeed helpful!

PostPosted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 10:59 am 

Joined: Mon Aug 07, 2017 10:31 am
Posts: 26
DBAck wrote:
I really like the thought that what I did was so irrational that, I / we may never totally make sense of what I was doing . . .the difficult part for her is that she was and is a rational thinker . . .I on the other hand was not thinking rationally . . .it is very difficult for her to think in irrational terms . . .

I relayed these very same thoughts to my wife recently. No matter what I say it seems to make no sense to her or she derives a different meaning from it than I intended. My behavior was not rational and therefore difficult to understand for anyone who has not suffered from this addiction.

However, from those conversations I have learned one of the more important things I had been missing up to that point, which is, it doesn't really matter how deviant my behavior was compared to others, the amount of pain and damage suffered by my wife is more important and a more relevant gauge of how bad my poor behavior has been. And the amount of suffering she is enduring is extreme and I regret that and take responsibility for it. Now it's up to me to do no further harm to her or myself.

PostPosted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 12:47 am 
Recovery Mentor

Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2011 10:57 pm
Posts: 317
I couldn't agree more. After all the damage I've caused through my behavior.
EndingTheCycle wrote:
Now it's up to me to do no further harm to her or myself.

It's a work in progress, to continue to do the self-discovery, analyzing emotional triggers, and overall effect on those closest.
Thanks for sharing, this thread helps with better connecting to this community. It's clear our experiences with addiction are similar, and encouraging each other, avoiding complacency, is essential. :g:

PostPosted: Thu Nov 02, 2017 9:20 pm 

Joined: Thu May 14, 2015 7:14 pm
Posts: 215
Encouraging just to read that fact that although I was a freak . . . there are other freaks our there that are also making the change to living by healthy values and not living in the crap hole that I at one time was jumping into on a regular basis . . .my regular life does not live there any longer . . .believe in the right things . . the good values that bring peace and not destruction . . .


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