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 Post subject: Another Urge Question
PostPosted: Wed Nov 15, 2017 4:02 am 
Recovery Mentor

Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 5:29 am
Posts: 145
I am really getting the sense of the difference now in the feeling between emotions and values based decisions. I would probably describe the former as being more quick hit "sugary" fixes which may improve your mental state very quickly but then will sharply drop you lower than you were before afterwards. The latter doesn't have sharp changes in mental state but gives a more fulfilling feeling of being pleased with yourself for having made the "right" decision.

As part of this transition though I get a sense of a void purely due to the removal of the quick sugary fixes. I don’t necessarily have a problem with this and in some ways it helps me feel like something that is wrong is being removed from me. But my question is this. If I found something else to do (I can't actually think of an example so this is conceptual) which would be a healthy activity but would generate quick emotional buzzes from it, should that sort of thing be seen as being good because it fills the void or is it better to avoid (for the time being at least) as it could further engrain "quick fixes are good things" which could be mentally dangerous as I try to remove myself from emotional urges?



"If you ever doubt the lie of excitement that anticipates an urge and wonder if it will be worth it, remember that there is a very good reason that you joined Recovery Nation"

PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 8:22 am 
Recovery Coach

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:55 pm
Posts: 1209
You are going to feel a sense of loss when you start removing your rituals in addiction from your routine. You are going to miss and mourn their loss. I am not 100% certain, but that is what I think you are going through right now. You are missing what was part of your identity and you want to fill it. This is natural. I will try to use the same analogy you did to explain what I think.

Think of yourself as starting a diet. You have cut down on the calories you intake and you are starting to see some weight loss. All the dieting in the world, however, is not going to be a permanent solution unless you change how you eat and how you perceive food. Replacing one kind of sugary snack to fill the hole you created by removing the last sugary snack isn't going to help in the long run. You need to find something to replace it with which is a healthy alternative, and that is going to take some time. It won't do you any good to replace one addiction with another, say replacing sex addiction with gambling. Sure, you are avoiding sexual addiction behavior, but soon you will simply be addicted to gambling, which can be quite destructive in its own right. Whatever you do, you cannot replace one "sugar high" with another. It needs to be something of substance and value.

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