Recovery Nation

Personal Development Forum
It is currently Mon Nov 20, 2017 12:21 pm

All times are UTC - 5 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 14 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: S. Journal
PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2017 10:45 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 5:52 pm
Posts: 19
Day one.
I decided to do this as a "one last go" with my husbands addiction before calling it quits. I found out September of last year, however it wasn't the first time anything had happened. There was the porn, the sneaking on my phone while I was asleep, masturbating at work, craigslist ads, texting women at work, sleeping with an ex a week after we started talking in 2012. From the start it has been up and down, and sometimes I question why I stayed. Somewhere, I believed he was a decent person, and I still do. He tries, he loves my girls, he WANTS to do good, to be good. I am giving him this one shot. He wants to do well for himself, not for me.
He told me he had a "crush" on someone on his route. Turns out, he was sexualizing, objectifying, lusting, fantasizing, wanting, oogling, you name it, every woman on earth pretty much. Masturbating at work, wondering what everything with a vagina thought of him, picturing every college girl in the complex he worked at naked. I felt like I was going to die when he told me. I had blocked porn, so what did he do? Used youtube and PINTEREST? Who finds gif files on pinterest to masturbate to? Since then he tried SMART recovery (didn't work because he relapsed/quit). He went to a few meetings (too religious) SO, here we are. I'm doing my part to heal because in all honesty, I need it with or without him. So here we are. Day 1.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: S. Journal
PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2017 10:46 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 5:52 pm
Posts: 19
Day 2. (I've had these in a notepad saved, so I am copy/pasting to have them on here as well as my account JUST got approved for the forum)


What type of life I want to live from this point forward. I have spent a year focusing on addiction. Micro managing. Learning. Reading. Trying to ensure nothing happens. Worrying myself sick. I have missed out on a lot of little things. Moments. Events. Memories. I want to be present. I want to spend more quality time with my children. Enjoy daily events and outings. I want to enjoy movies without the worry that my husband is failing. I want to go to a new state or city I have never been to and not worry that he is staring or having fantasies about other women. I see myself staying in this house and getting healthier. Not for getting skinny but for the first time in my entire life, for being healthy. I want to learn how to save money. I want to pay my bills on time. I want to spend more time with my parents and forgive people more easily.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: S. Journal
PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2017 10:51 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 5:52 pm
Posts: 19
Day 3: Gut feelings.

I have had so many. Mainly surrounding work and the phone and 99.9%, I have been right. He would claim he was not doing anything on his phone or having any issues at work, and obviously he was. He was using pinterest to masturbate (GIF files), or youtube (finding strip videos). He was obsessing, crushing, becoming attached to strangers at work (he is a mailman) who don't even know him. Making up false scenarios in his head about what his life could be like single, or without me. Picking me apart, how I was ugly, not good enough, fat, wrinkly, too old, not adventurous enough, boring, double chin (yes, seriously), fat knees), boring in bed).
I felt in my gut he wasn't into sex. That he was thinking of other women. He was. I felt in my gut at work he was having feelings towards other women, he was (a MAJOR issue with a woman who was an office manager at a leasing office where he delivers). Every day I'd ask "How'd today go" and he would say "fine" I knew he was lying.

As far as recovery goes, I feel like I have PTSD. I feel like every day is a failure almost. I feel like when we go out, I almost pick women out who I know or feel like he would stereotype, or sexualize and do it for him in my head and then accuse him of doing it because I automatically feel like he would anyways. I knew when he was backsliding, when he was failing because he made excuses to not do his meetings anymore, read his books, log onto his old site, he was snappy with me, frustrated, broke his phones (again, seriously about 25), mean to the kids). I hope it changes.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: S. Journal
PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2017 10:56 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 5:52 pm
Posts: 19
Day 4: Life after addiction

It's almost like I can't imagine him without a problem, but I can. When we met, to me he was perfect. I want to still see him in that light, but right now, I feel like that image is forever broken. What do I feel like will be there when the addiction is removed?
What values? I feel like he genuinely wants to be a good person somewhere in his being. I feel like he wants to be something more than an addict. More than what his dad was. I feel like he wants to succeed. I feel like he wants hobbies he enjoys. I feel like he wants to be a good parent. I feel like he wants morals. I wish I could say now he wants to be a good husband but I can't because honestly, he goes so back and forth right now.

What do I feel like will continue to pose obstacles in our relationship? His temper. His ability to go from 0 to 100 in 0.1 seconds. The breaking of phones, or name calling. The wishy washy ness towards me. (I hope I am wrong. I don't feel wrong). Right now, I feel like other women will always be an issue, or an "urge".


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: S. Journal
PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2017 11:02 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 5:52 pm
Posts: 19
Day 5: Understanding Your Partner's Addiction

A) I manage stress in various ways. First, I am bi-polar. Sometimes I handle it better than others. Sometimes simply breathing helps, sometimes I drive away thinking I want to die. (not the best idea). Journaling helps me, baths help, crying helps. What makes me irrational? This relationship. That sounds insanely unhealthy I know. Feeling so unwanted, unsafe, lied to, angry, frustrated, jealous, betrayed, hurt. All of those rolled into one. It makes me irrational.

B) A compulsive behavior I've engaged in would likely be driving off attempting or saying I'm going to kill myself (not my finest moment). I get black out mad. I can't see straight. I don't focus on what is fair, right, wrong, logical. I drive, I figure "this will get their attention and they will think logically" which obviously, does not work for either of us and only escalates the situation 100 fold. My anxiety at that point isn't even readable. Everything is off of the charts. Everything is exaggerated, I can't breathe, see straight, it's a fog. These are moments of pure mania.

C) I honestly don't know. I don't know how to answer this. Maybe think logically, think the scenario fully through. See people for people. I feel like this question I fail at.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: S. Journal
PostPosted: Thu Jul 20, 2017 11:34 am 
Offline

Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 5:52 pm
Posts: 19
Day 6:

I read the entire story of "He Danced Alone". I felt sick. I read his words and wondered the whole time, if my husband thought this way about other women and felt sick. Somehow, during the five years we've been together, I over looked a lot of things. I didn't notice him looking at other women. Scanning when we were out. I didn't know he was masturbating when we had company over in the bathroom while we were all downstairs, or distracted by fantasy while we were on the phone. Judging me while we were out. Thinking of other women while we were having sex. I feel like I still can't process it all. It's been a long time since D Day for us, almost a year. I still go over the details and want to throw up.

Of the four areas discussed, He has many issues with most. His mind is sexualized. He hears words and somehow twists them. "crotch rocket" turns into imagery of rockets shooting inside of vaginas. Who does this. It makes me irate. I can't sympathize with him because I am so angry. I can't help but feel like he is stupid and immature and then I question if this is even what I want. Don't I deserve a real husband? With real values and who is able to deal with real life normally?
He also objectifies people. By their outfits, the way the walk, their hair, who they are walking with, their laugh, and so on. Where he delivers mail, some of it was a college community. Somehow, that equals slutty girls asking for it. Doesn't matter how. Or who. Eyeliner, or lipgloss can mean whore.
His entire life is immediate gratification, which is why the first 2093802398 rounds of recovery in other programs failed. He wanted to get better and NOW. Doesn't work that way. He wants a better marriage, now. He wants to be in shape, now. He wants to save money, have a better house, job, clothes, things, travel, experiences right NOW. Life isn't now. He still doesn't grasp that. And as for the "all or nothing", he has done this too. "well we can't have this so we may as well not do it at all". Ok, I chalk it up to him being a crybaby. He's done it with our relationship, sex, his job, friends, travel, money. Seeing all of his issues on paper makes me question why I stay. I know he is trying, but how many tries does one get? Sickness and health? What about pervert and health? That wasn't in my vows. I can't see this as "sickness". How can I?
I see him trying. I see small changes I've never seen before but there is no trust on my end any of this is permanent.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: S. Journal
PostPosted: Mon Jul 24, 2017 6:49 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 5:52 pm
Posts: 19
Exercise 7
A. Consider the role that you have played in your partner's recovery to date. In the field below, describe these roles as they relate to:
I. Effective communication

I feel like to date, our communication has been terrible (aside from the last month, maybe). I feel like there has been a lot of verbal abuse (on both ends) and very untrue statements on both of our parts. A lot of lying, threats to leave, threats to file for divorce etc.

II. Managing your partner's recovery. 100% guilty. I've found the books, sent articles, sent links, pleaded, asked him to do research, found even this site, his last site, ordered pamphlets, emailed, found counselors etc. I feel like 99.9% of the "improvement" until he started this site was me.


III. Empowering/disempowering a pursuit of health: I feel like up until now we have both been very manipulative. Neither of us really cared about health, we've been very disempowering (or depending on how you look at it, "empowering" but in a negative way".

B. Consider the focus and attention that has been offered to your partner in recovery; are you gaining equal resource to heal your own wounds? If not, what can you do to ensure that your healing is considered every bit as important as your partner's recovery? Not at all (both of our faults). I feel very alone in my recovery. I feel like regardless of what happens to us in this relationship, he has a lot of resources to ensure he will (if he chooses) a healthy recovery where me on the other hand, have to hope things get better due to damage done without my consent. His was his choice I feel like (maybe I am bitter).

C. (optional) For those who have made the decision to either stay in the relationship or "wait and see", considering the roles discussed in this lesson (or additional roles that you have thought of), what changes might you consider making to your relationship that would increase its chances for success? I am unsure right now. I think the couples section could increase our chances, or counseling.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: S. Journal
PostPosted: Mon Jul 24, 2017 6:52 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 5:52 pm
Posts: 19
Exercise 8

If you were to identify three issues relating to your partner's recovery that you would like to see changed, what would they be?

To stop the micro/mini fantasies & compulsions 100%. They bother me the most, make me feel unwanted and gross. They mess with my self esteem and our relationship. They are without a doubt, the worst part to me and the hardest for him (I would think.).

To stop the back and forth/wishy washyness of him not knowing what he wants in terms of this relationship, being a dad, finding me attractive, liking me, wanting to be an addict (even though he's gotten a lot better).

For our relationship to have some amount of intimacy because we do not have that right now at all.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: S. Journal
PostPosted: Mon Jul 24, 2017 6:55 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 5:52 pm
Posts: 19
Exercise 9:
A. What are the key signs that you have observed in your partner that lead you to believe that he/she is engaged in a healthy recovery? I feel like he tries really hard. He is honest (sometimes too much for my comfort). He is doing his lessons, trying each day (although he doesn't do any actual work AT work (worksheet wise). He has only skipped a few days as far as lessons go. He has tried to watch his words.

B. What are the key signs that you have observed in your partner that lead you to believe that he/she is NOT engaged in a healthy recovery? The only thing is the fact he goes so back and forth on his values, who he wants on it, what he wants (single, married, alone, not, kids, not, etc.)

C. How have you communicated your observations to your partner? Have you communicated the healthy observations as well as the unhealthy? How has your partner responded? I am actually really bad at it and get really angry. Usually when we communicate it turns into an argument if I start it and the subject is his recovery because I get very mad and accuse him.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: S. Journal
PostPosted: Mon Jul 24, 2017 7:55 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 5:52 pm
Posts: 19
Exercise 10: Return to your vision created in Stage One; Lesson Two. Select the three most important values that you need right now to help you stabilize your life.

1) Focus on my own healing
-not focus on where Brandon is in his recovery
-stop over analyzing his actions/thoughts/progress
-read and do my lessons every day and stop skipping lessons
-try to be positive and keep a positive mindset and not say things I don't mean (divorce, unless I am sure)

2) Be a better mom
-stay off of my phone/laptop as much
-do something with them each day even if it is talking to them for 10 minutes each
-say positive things to them to build their self worth and esteem
-try and not get so angry, so quickly

3) Be in better shape physically & emotionally
-do yoga 3 days per week
-try and focus on what I am eating and why vs. just eating to eat
-try and eat based on what I should (thyroid)
-exercise for health, not to look like someone I am not.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: S. Journal
PostPosted: Mon Jul 24, 2017 8:16 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 5:52 pm
Posts: 19
Exercise eleven
A. Write a letter to your partner, expressing all of the emotions that you have experienced as a result of their addiction. This is not intended to be a letter that he/she will read, but rather, a letter representing your most intense feelings.
There are several guidelines to follow in writing this letter:

Dear Brandon,

I am sure you have heard everything I am about to say in one way or another weather it be from my mouth, in text, in a screaming match, through tears, conversation, or in a book. I remember the first time I found something on your phone, that made me upset. We lived in Kennedy's Landing, you worked at a plant labeling boxes, or tide pods, and you often fell asleep at work. I remember you came home, and we were at the pool, and I picked up your phone for something random and there it was. I stumbled across the pictures on the screen of your phone. It’s not the last time i'd find it sadly. You probably did your best to hide it, but there they were in front of my face getting etched into my brain — their naked bodies, their sexy poses. The derogatory name of the site up on the top. know who I am as a woman, right? I am beautiful. Wanted. But, all that gets distorted and foggy when I see those girls. The lies are screaming in my ears — they are so loud and so convincing.
You will never look like her.
She has a better body than you.
She can turn him on more than you can!
You are ugly.
You are NOT ENOUGH!
You will NEVER be enough.
You are disgusting
He does not want you.

You have told me over and over that this addiction has nothing to do with me. We have a great sex-life, or I thought we did. We are crazy about one another, you love me and my body. Or do we? Do you? I question all of this now. This addiction messes with all of this. Are you crazy about me, or crazy in general. Do you love me? Or are you addicted to that to? Do you like my body? Or comparing me to someone else while we have sex? It's so hard. But this evil creeps in and spills throughout our whole home and the domino effect starts. Your actions leads to my pain and it’s an ugly web I want out of now. I often feel like I can't breathe. Like the day is an ocean of black and it's swallowing me. I’m dizzy from spinning around in anger, hurt and despair. How many times do I have to catch you? It turns out, many. Too many, so many secrets, not just the porn, or the people watching, or the crushes, or craigslist, or wanting other women, or the lies, public masturbation, looking at teenagers, or anyone for that matter. How many times do we have to go through this agonizing cycle — you hiding your secret, me finding out, you apologizing, me forgiving, trying to get back to normal only for it to start all over again?

I feel cheated on and betrayed. This is not healthy, a marriage, love, what I wanted. Didn't I leave a cycle for something better? This isn't better. Even if it wasn’t a live person, you still had your eyes on another woman — you stared at her and let her turn you on in ways that are reserved only for ME — your wife, your best friend, your lover. Our intimacy is far more beautiful and greater than this fantasy. Or I thought, it turns out sex addicts don't have that either (which now leads me to question MY intimacy. Do I have it? Did I ever? What about now, do I have it now? Can I again?) It's painful and it's your fault. Anytime you are on a screen, anytime you are home alone, anytime you are up too late at night or too early in the morning I am worried that your eyes are falling on another woman. Anytime you ask someone at work a question, or look at someone in a store, blink too long during sex, turn your head during a dinner out, stare at a movie scene too long, a racy song comes on the radio, someone is jogging- I question you. After years of “catching you” –- how can I believe that you aren’t? You are. Recovery doesn't mean anything to me yet. I am scared. I feel alone and you don't care, because: you guessed it: apparently sex addicts don't have empathy either. Right? What is this doing to our marriage? What if our kids see what you have seen? If I can accidentally catch you, so can they! Most of all, I am heartbroken. Can you see that? I don't think you can, or you don't care. My Heart. Is. Breaking. Not just for myself, but for you. How did this become your story? Your early family life? Your lack of love as a child? Your poor parenting? Your early discovery of sex and porn? Your use of it as a coping mechanism? You are overwhelmed and stressed and this is how you escape. How? How can someone do that? I don't understand. You are choosing a moment of escape over a meaningful relationship. You want me to trust you, but I don’t know how. What if I never can and what if you never recover? Then what?
I have learned that as the spouse of a pornography or sex addict, I have experienced what is called “Betrayal Trauma.” Its symptoms are linked to the symptoms of PTSD [post-traumatic stress disorder]. It comes with all the same triggers and deep rooted emotions that are felt by a soldier returning from war. I feel isolated.I have nowhere to turn, because I am too embarrassed to tell anyone. I don't know where we will go from here, but know I loved you. So much. My heart hurts, and I'm not sure where we will end up ten days from now, or ten years. I hope you get the help you so desperately need because even if this doesn't work out between us, I would never wish this on anyone. You have a good soul, I know it. I can tell you do. I love you, somehow and someway.
-S.

I can't write the letter from him to me because right now, it's too much. I will finish that at a later time.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: S. Journal
PostPosted: Mon Jul 24, 2017 11:54 pm 
Offline

Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 5:52 pm
Posts: 19
Day 12

A. Describe where you are now in terms of your response to the discovery of your partner's addiction. Not where you were last month, or where you hope to be next month. Where are you right now?
Right now I struggle with feeling normal, whatever that may be. I don't trust him or even what he says on a daily basis. He often goes back and forth (although that is getting better). I feel frustrated we can't even have normal sex. I feel angry we can't have a normal marriage. I feel mad he has a problem in the first place. I feel hopeless. I feel happy that he is trying. I feel stressed when we go anywhere because I am afraid he will fail.

B. Because you have experienced a traumatic event in your life — and the discovery that the foundation of your life has been jeopardized is severely traumatic — there are common patterns that you should expect and even prepare for in the months and years to come. Discuss what these patterns might be and how you will deal with them. There are no right or wrong answers here. The goal is to begin looking ahead with a realistic and constructive eye. To realize that with even the best healing process in place, the trauma that you have experienced will have a lasting — albeit not permanently destructive — effect on your life.

I feel like anger is a big one for me. I think I need to try harder to not blame him, to not be so mad when he has minor setbacks daily because he really does try. I need to try and look ahead more realistically because he is not doing a bad job. I am destructive mentally to myself. I feel like my expectations are really absurd. I feel like I judge myself and compare myself with other women when we are out and about, I feel like that will be really hard to NOT do. I feel like having normal sex will be really hard (constantly thinking about what he "could" be thinking of or who else). I really need to work on focusing on my recovery vs. his.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: S. Journal
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 12:17 am 
Offline

Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 5:52 pm
Posts: 19
Lesson/Day 13
A. One of the first steps on the road to healing is to take inventory of all the ways that your partner's compulsive behavior has affected you. Begin listing these consequences and post them in your Healing Thread..

my self esteem
the way I feel when we go out in public
the way I feel towards other women
the way I judge others based on their attire
the plans I make when he is off work
the locations we will go to based on him being with us
the movies or tv shows we watch
the music we listen to
spending countless hours researching sex addiction
facebook searching the people he's had "issues" with at work/on route/friends
how I let my children dress
my ability to trust him
my ability to have normal sex
the hours I spend checking in on him
the hours I spend checking his phone
the time I spent blocking every site I could think of to prevent issues
the time I wasted locked in my room to have conversations in regard to his problems while my kids sat on tv/phones
the things he has broken while angry
the physical abuse during his angry outbursts
the embarrassment of having to hide this type of issue
the feeling like I'm lying to everyone who thinks we have a good relationship
the financial stress from me turning down shoots because I've been so emotionally overwhelmed
the constant stress of going back and forth about divorce
the harm he has caused our pets
the feelings of disappointment in what I deemed "loosing" a marriage
feeling like I was lied to about everything
feeling unattractive
questioning my worth
questioning what about our relationship was a lie
the inability to enjoy family outings because I constantly question "who" he could be thinking about
not knowing if he has told me the full truth
at first the stress of not knowing if he was actually at work
being worried I will see him act out by looking at someone who I think looks better than me
me not being able to have female friends
being worried about the girls getting older and having friends who he may objectify
unable to take him to concerts (my job) because of his actions
worrying that he is dressing a certain way because he wants attention
questioning who he talks to at work and his motives
unable to enjoy family events because of his issues with certain family members
feeling unattractive in bed
it has altered my future plans in wanting a larger family
it has altered my plans to buy a house (I don't want to make a financial commitment)
Having to hear his failures daily make me see him differently as a person
Hearing his failures daily make me angry
His issues make me violent towards him
His issues make me have a shorter temper


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: S. Journal
PostPosted: Tue Jul 25, 2017 12:43 am 
Offline

Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 5:52 pm
Posts: 19
Lesson & Day 14 (It seems so much longer)

Today's was hard to read for me. Seeing what I should be doing, and thinking and where I am placing blame and shouldn't be. I feel like in order to move on I need to actually BELIEVE these things, and right now I am stuck, so maybe I'll be here for a while. Lesson 14, and that sucks. I am trying. I really am.

*Over the next month, how much time do you intend to spend focused on managing, tracking and/or assessing your partner's addiction/recovery? List the role(s) you intend to play in his recovery.
- I want to try and be a support (if I can) and listen, and be more forgiving and not as judgemental. I don't want to manage or track his recovery at all. I want to be able to asses his recovery by his actions.

*How much time do you intend to spend secretly investigating his actions? If none, how will you manage those times of mistrust and/or doubt? I plan to check his phone still weekly. History, texts, calls.

*What personal values are you willing to allow your partner to continue damaging over the next month?
None. I need him to stick to his personal values. We already have 0 trust and for him to not be able to stick to such a small list is unacceptable.

*Over the next two months, what mistakes are you prepared to tolerate from your partner and why? What mistakes (if any) are intolerable and will serve as the catalyst to end the relationship? I know he will continue to have the micro fantasy things. I am prepared as much as I dislike it. I know it is the hardest thing to deal with and to stop. I also know he may say things he does not mean. As far as intolerable, a full relapse. Porn viewing, masturbation (in public at work), affair, sleeping with someone else, another severe crush/infatuation at work, purposely talking to someone with the intention of gratification.

*How much responsibility do you intend to invest in changing your partner? Versus placing the responsibility for change on them? How do you envision communicating your observations about their motivation/responsibility — both positive and/or negative? For those positive observations, how will you make them seem genuine? For those negative observations, how will you make them seem non-punitive?
I can't change him. He has to do that. I feel like we need to invest more time in conversation in general. We need to work on how we do the negative, because I get angry and he loses it. I feel like I need to let him know when he does something good, because it's important for him to know I am proud of him and his efforts. As for negatives, maybe not say things so harsh, not in such a negative or blame type of way?

*Do you intend to motivate change in your partner by threats and/or rewards? Or by simply sharing your needs and allowing your partner to find the motivation to meet those needs? If the latter, how much clarity do you have in determining and communicating your personal needs? Needs. Not by blame or threats because they won't work. I will try to communicate better because I suck at that.

*How do you envision moving beyond two individuals in recovery/healing to becoming a team in overcoming those areas of your relationship that have been damaged? What changes will YOU need to make in your own perspective to regain a sense of teamwork? What changes do you need to see from your partner for this to happen? I feel like this will be hard for us. I know right now, we are two separate people and not a team. I need to not be so judgemental. Stop judging him based on what I WANT out of him and what he is actually capable of as a person right now.

*Apart from your partner's addiction, identify the current major obstacles that your relationship faces. For each obstacle, seek out any patterns that will eventually need to be worked through as a team.
Sex. We can't concentrate, anxiety, I panic, he is worried about it not being intimate so I feel unwanted and he panics it was using.
Communication. We both speak negatively. We need to work on not blame speaking.

*Should you find yourself struggling to manage your own life (intense emotions, undefended boundaries, deteriorating values, neglected values, etc.) how do you envision getting yourself refocused and back in balance? List this general plan.
I have none right now. Yoga, meditation, reading over these pages and thinking about my vision.

*What signs will you look for in your partner to generate confidence in the sincerity and stability of his/her recovery? His actions, his anger management, his words (in the future). His ability to stick to this plan and recovery.
Better emotional stability.

*What unique signs will you look for in your partner over the next few months to generate warning of imbalance and/or insincerity? Lying, anger, insincerity, blaming me for things, being critical of me, relapse.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 14 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group