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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2018 1:30 pm 
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Joined: Sun Feb 11, 2018 6:50 am
Posts: 7
Dear all,
Just a short update on how I am getting on. After I got divorced in March this year I started to get pain in my body which varied from foot pain to elbow or shoulder pain. The blood test shows a tendency for rheumatic arthritis. In Ayurveda the translation for rheuma is "sea of frozen teardrops"... And I think this fits. All those years I endured so much emotional pain which I could not release.There seems to be a cell brain which stores those emotions when they are not properly released. I might have a tendency for psychosomatic disorders and I am now working with my therapist to release those emotions and start healing. I have gone on a vegetarian diet but sometimes when I wake up in the morning I can only stand on my hurting feet when I put on special shoes. I had days with frozen shoulders and then they vanish and my knees start hurting. Somedays I wonder how to climb the stairs to my appartement on the second floor. But I always manage. I do a lot of meditation and concentrate on my inner core.

I was very sportive before this illness but my body seems to need much rest. I am missing my former energy. I am not yet on medication because I still hope that my body will be able to heal itself (refernce to Luise L. Hay). I have also read the book by Dr. John Sarno "The mind body syndrome" and truly hope that I will be able to overcome this illness. I am still able to do my fulltime job because once I am up and have "endured" the first hour of pain it somehow vanishes and comes only back when I rest too long, which is really ironic because I know that I need to rest...

Otherwise I am coping well. I start missing a relationship with a new partner but I am not sure whether I will be able to trust a man again. I will keep you informed about my way forward. The trauma therapy is helping me a lot to overcome the endured nightmare. But after 15 years with an SA it is hard to forget and move forward. I was told that I missed the anger phase because I was so sad all the time and could not get really angry. But today I started yelling in my car on my way back from work. I shouted all my anger and hatred while I was alone in my car and I think it helped me to feel and start to release those feelings. Initially I thought I need to forgive him and see him as an ill and mislead soul. But in order to do so the anger needs to have its place/outcoming first.

I am not quite sure whether this is of any use for you to read but this is were I stand now and I hope my soulmates here are also recovering. Together we are strong :-) At least we are not alone and can communicate in a safe environment on this very helpful site.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 01, 2020 1:46 pm 
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Joined: Sun Feb 11, 2018 6:50 am
Posts: 7
Dear all,

2,5 years after leaving my exhusband I would like to give you another update. And to summarize it first, I am feeling much better :-). What really helped me were the sessions with my trauma therapist, my friends, yoga and my strong will....

I did not take the subscribed MTX medication from the doctor but took Hydrocortisone in a high dosis for 4 weeks. I am still taking 5mg Prednisolon daily. With this medication I am painfree and can even do sports. For 2 years I could not imagine falling in love again but finally this summer I met my current boy friend who is very understanding and supportive. Together with my therapist we worked out how I could manage to "test" him and start trusting again. From the very beginning I started asking him questions which we learned to raise in this forum. I am still very inquisitive and I am happy that I have a partner who is very understanding. I told him about my past relationship. What really helps me is my thinking that I have nothing more to loose but so much to win. Therefore I do not make any compromises in this relationship with regards to trust, faith and reliability. So far I think I am on the right path and I am looking forward to this new year with so many opportunities and challenges.

Reflecting on myself I would say that I am more outspoken, daring, noticing the little things and taking on new challenges. I feel happiness and follow this new path with trust and confidence.

I am embracing my soulmates in this forum and hope that you will find your way out of this misery.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 02, 2020 10:53 am 
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Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2014 1:34 pm
Posts: 669
Sunrise - So wonderful to hear how well you are doing. So relieved that the trauma stored in your body is being released. I as well realize how many ailments I have that are related to trauma. Who knew.

So good for you to post to keep letting us know how you are doing.

In solidarity,
dnell


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