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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2018 4:12 pm 
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Joined: Sun Feb 11, 2018 6:50 am
Posts: 8
Dear all,

I have been successfully divorced but my journey is not yet over. I would like to give you an overview of my body symptons (i.e. illnesses) while I was married to an SA which are partly still ongoing.

I have been reading the following books by John E. Sarno "The Divided Mind: The Epidemic of mind body discorders" and "Healing Backpain" which were very helpful to determine how stress and other psychological factors can cause disorders such as pain problems, common gastrointestinal conditions including reflux, ulcers, irritable bowel syndrome, skin disorders, allergies, and many others. The interaction between the generally reasonable, rational, ethical and moral conscious mind and the repressed feelings of emotional pain, hurt, sadness, and anger characteristic of the unconscious mind appears to be the basis for mind body disorders. Psychosomatic processes begin in the unconscious.

My own experience confirms this:
We got married 2008 and shortly afterwards I had a skin disorder at the whole body (exept head and toes), which looked like an allergie, for almost a year. The doctors were helpless and prescribed cortisone in a very high dose.
- Later on I learned that my SA husband had had a "serious" affair with a co-worker at that time for almost 2 years.

2012 - when my fears/assumptions that he was an SA were confirmed we had our first DDay I got a frozen shoulder and serious arm pain for almost 6 months. The frozen shoulder and arm pain accompany me whenever I experience new stress situations. Additionally I got irritable bowel syndrome which lasted 6 years - i.e. until we got divorced.

I am sharing this information with you in the hope that it may be a helpful information for you on your way forward.

I am embracing my fellow sufferer on this difficult path and hope you may recover soon.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2021 9:49 am 
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Joined: Sun Feb 11, 2018 6:50 am
Posts: 8
Dear all,
I would like to give you a brief update on how I am doing 3 years after leaving my S/A (ex) husband.

Around 6 months after I had left my husband I delevoped body disorders with pain in my feet, knees, shoulders and wrists. The pain was not always there and wandered. Sometimes it was gone for a few days or even weeks. After one year somehow the pain had manifested - which was parallel to our divorce and several attempts of my husband of getting me back before the divorce. I was diagnosed rheumatoide arthritis and I was prescribed Cortisone and MTX. Both medicaments really helped me - combined with a healthy diet and continous sportive activities.

So what I would like to tell you is that after much work with my therapist and a new stable relationship to a very good and trustful man my body seems to relax. The rheumatic indicator dropped from +200 (2018), 160 (2019) to 79 (2020). I am now allowed to reduce MTX by 50% (I have stopped taking Cortisone 3 months ago). The pain has almost vanished and I can go jogging again.

I am writing this because I really think that this illness was caused by the immense stress I had to endure in the unhealthy relationship with my (ex)husband. Due to several reasons (in the aftermath I would say there are not many good reasons to stay in such a relationship) I was almost 10 years married to him.

The happy news is - I am feeling so much better. And I can trust again. I hope this will give you strength to continue on your way to a balanced and healthy life.

Alle the best - sunrise


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