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 Post subject: immaturity
PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2014 3:14 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2012 4:47 am
Posts: 2
I'm wondering...cuz I'm a bit annoyed right now. How do ye guys deal with your partners immature behaviour, like, constant lying. It's happened over and over again that he keeps making most ridiculous financial decisions. I ended up having to lock away all the money because he keeps steeling family budgets. I'm sick to death of it. Today I told him he either sorts himself out or he's out. He's been going to therapy for over a year, i have been in therapy for over six months. Frankly, each time he messes up, I'm less and less inclined to stay with him because of his immaturity and childish behaviour.


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 Post subject: Re: immaturity
PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2014 10:14 pm 
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Partner's Coach

Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2010 11:49 pm
Posts: 675
If the lying is an on-going problem it does not sound like he is in Recovery. A person can go through the motions for years, going to meetings, going to therapy, reading books, filling out work books - they can go through the recovery workshop multiple times over. But if they're not applying the things they are learning to their life, if they continue to deceive, continue to remain irresponsible, continue to refuse to be accountable for their actions, none of it will matter.
So you told him that he either sorts himself out or he's out. This is an empty threat unless you define it more specifically. What does sorting himself out look like? How much time are you willing to give him to accomplish it? As you said, he's been attending therapy for a year - if his behavior continues as is, but he continues in therapy will you give him another year? Another 2? Another 5? I'd strongly suggest that you start the partner's workshop. You'll find a lot of information there to help you determine what the best choices for you are based on what kind of life you want to live. It will also help you understand what a sincere, healthy recovery looks like and give you tools to protect the things that are important to you through that process. Basically, the answers to your questions are in the workshop. Hope that helps a little!
Mrs. Jones


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