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 Post subject: SAIT- open to both sides
PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2015 5:23 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2014 12:59 am
Posts: 33
I've have recently learned of Minwalla and the Sex Addiction Induced Trauma(SAIT) model. I've done some initial readings on his work and am curious if others have read his work and what their thoughts on it might be. Since reading, I've felt a new empowerment within myself. I had always somewhat struggled with the idea of co-addiction as I don't believe that was me before I met my husband (although I definitely displayed co-addictive patterns through my marriage). It really has me viewing things a little differently in regards to what has happened in my life. Not sure how this affects my healing, if at all. Was just curious as to what others think and if it has helped in their recovery.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2015 5:39 pm 
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Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2014 1:34 pm
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Hi Ranger - I became familiar with Minwalla's work prior to finding RN. It was deeply re-assuring to NOT be labeled as a "co-addict" or "co-dependent." It made me realize that I had to find help for my trauma. In Jon's partners lesson on co-dependency, I thought he was very compassionate in addressing the issues of trauma and co-dependency. How Minwalla's work really aided me was in my search for an individual therapist who could augment my healing in addition to RN. It took me four tries to get the right therapist and I finally found one who does work on trauma recovery. It has been tremendously helpful to me. The first therapists I tried who immediately labeled me as a "co-addict" or "co-dependent" spent the first one or two sessions (stopped after that!) "scaring me straight" about my being "addicted to the addict" and to tell me how sick and broken I was. They also scared me about all the terrible things that were coming my way in the future just at a time when I was not prepared to take on more shock and emotional upheaval.

My current therapist, who is providing me with tremendous help, is a specialist in trauma recovery. Were there issues in my earlly childhood that meant I had a hard time trusting my gut? That I did not create and enforce appropriate boundaries? That I settled for an abusive relationship for way too long? Well, yes, of course. But, I am being treated with compassion, with understanding, with exploring and bringing to light my early childhood trauma. And this is being done without a label, or diagnosis, or some other distancing or subtly blaming approach.

I know of some women whose husbands went to Minwalla's "intensive program". But, the program did not teach a way to get to a healthy recovery. I think Jon really provides the approach to not just abstinence, but developing healthy life management skills has been the only approach I have seen that will allow someone not only to become abstinent, but to recover....to live a healthy life.

dnell


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 14, 2015 11:35 pm 
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Partner's Mentor

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:49 pm
Posts: 3834
Quote:
Not sure how this affects my healing, if at all. Was just curious as to what others think and if it has helped in their recovery.
Freeing yourself of the co-addictive label helps with your healing. No question. From my perspective, there is nothing worse than this kind of betrayal except for the death of a child. It is traumatic. The RN workshop will help you heal. I don't know if you have started the lessons, but, if not, please start taking one lesson at a time determining a comfortable pace. It's hard work but so worth it. :w:

Nellie James


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