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 Post subject: To Let Go
PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2015 6:28 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2014 12:20 am
Posts: 131
To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more

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It is always OK in the end...if it's not OK, it's not the end!


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 Post subject: Re: To Let Go
PostPosted: Tue Jan 13, 2015 5:29 am 
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Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2014 12:48 pm
Posts: 43
Thank you for sharing Kajer.

This has such significant meaning for me and is what I needed. I just spoke with my counselor last week about having trouble separating my H from his addiction and this says it well. My other struggle has been that fine line between my boundaries and controlling his recovery. Again, reading your text has helped me see the difference and reinforce that I am doing the right things.

Again thank you, very powerful and meaningful words!

Unlovedwife

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Let your dreams be bigger than your fears, Let your actions be louder than your words


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 Post subject: Re: To Let Go
PostPosted: Tue Jan 13, 2015 12:08 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2014 12:20 am
Posts: 131
I have a LARGE wicker basket full of self-help stuff like that which got me through my first divorce when I was 42! It helped me a lot to forgive and move on. Somewhere, I lost touch with that wise young lady I was....and found myself recently after DDay a couple months ago. I spent the next 10 weeks obsessing over my SA and his behaviors that he has disclosed, and actually forcing myself to believe our life of twenty years has been an illusion and so, of course, damaged by his secret life that had been going on when I met him. How I didn't rely on my intuition at that time is a mystery to me, but he does have so many good characteristics, I loved the way he loved me, and he was a master at double life living! So masterful, he didn't even see it all for what it is until a few years ago and had been trying without success to stop his acting out stuff that even he was disgusted by!
Of all the websites I found and joined, RN has been THE ONE that really reached down into my heart!! I am very early in the lessons and expect you and I will see more of each other on here!

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It is always OK in the end...if it's not OK, it's not the end!


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 Post subject: Re: To Let Go
PostPosted: Tue Jan 13, 2015 9:00 pm 
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Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2014 12:48 pm
Posts: 43
Looking forward to seeing more of you. It sounds like that wicker basket may be a great asset to you and many others here on RN. Your story so far sounds so familiar as I see many of us that had our inner strength manipulated by their addiction without even realizing it had occurred. It is amazing how they can lead such a double life so well!
You are definitely in the right place to begin/regain your path to a healthy life. There are so many here to listen, support and help us through this ordeal that none of asked to be in. I do know that we now have the tools to get back on the track of wellness.

Stay strong and be well!

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Let your dreams be bigger than your fears, Let your actions be louder than your words


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