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PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:31 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2014 2:33 pm
Posts: 50
Im having a hard time finding help or support because no one can relate to me or understand. My back story is very complex and even therapists just dont seem to get it. I cant control my triggers and they are EVERYWHERE.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 3:14 pm 
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Partner's Mentor

Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2014 1:34 pm
Posts: 661
Rainiegirl - It took my fourth therapist to get the right one. I needed a trauma specialist. I did not need someone immersed in "co-dependency" or "co-addiction." Other ways to identify potential therapists/counselors are those specializing in EMDR (eye movement desensitization), hyponosis, "somatic" work.... But, they all have to be specialists in treating trauma. After my first three tries (which took one or two sessions to figure out that they were not the right practitioners), I knew on my fourth, and current therapist, that she was the right one for me.

Feel free to PM me if I can be of more help. My indivdiual therapy is proving to be TREMENDOUSLY helpful to me.

Compassionately,
dnell


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 4:15 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2014 2:33 pm
Posts: 50
I tried trama therapy but it didn't help because they use methods for regular PTSD. My city dosent offer much. My spouse has been on a waiting list for almost a year to see the only sex addiction therapist we have. One of my therapist tried to help by using old disproven "facts" as a way for me to change my thinking. I'm very well educated on my and my spouse's problems and find that I know more than the person trying to help me. It gets very frustrating.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 6:48 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 15, 2013 7:32 pm
Posts: 44
Try apsats or posarc sites. The deal specifically in partner.trauma due to sex addiction.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2015 12:37 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2013 9:33 pm
Posts: 96
I also have C-PTSD as a result of several traumatic events occurring within a few short months of each other. I have yet to find a therapist to help. Although I live in an area where specialized therapeutic services are available, I find that I tend to isolate myself as a result of the C-PTSD. I can't tell you how many times I have picked up the phone to make an appointment only to back out in the end. I also understand about triggers being everywhere and find that aspect of being the partner of a SA very draining.

I can only say that I think it's good to realize that you may have C-PTSD -- as they say, the first step is admitting you have a problem :-) Don't give up looking for help -- I keep making the calls, even if I don't follow through on them. I figure one day I may actually go to an appointment.

I will also say that you need to be careful when it comes to seeking treatment as the partner of a SA. I initially went to a CSAT that treats partners -- and while the CSAT helped me at the beginning -- I was so absolutely completely shell shocked after discovery that I just needed someone to listen and validate my experience -- in the end, I decided the whole codependent model was kind of bullish*t and wasn't helping me. Time alone -- and RN -- has had a more positive effect on my recovery than any other therapeutic model that I've found. It's just not as fast as I'd like it to be :-)

It will get better. Take care of yourself.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2015 9:33 am 
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Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2014 1:38 pm
Posts: 67
Yes in buckets and it sucks. For me too it was about talking to someone and getting validated and also about accepting that its okay to cry I don't have to be strong. The more we fight the feelings the harder it is to process them. I'm with you the on the codependency model but I have found my COSA and Al Anon meetings invaluable as places I can talk and cry with others and not get judged and begin to accept and process what has happened and my powerlessness over his addiction. Don't feel that you will have to 'live' a label - just take from it what works for you. Good luck with whatever you decide.

_________________
'The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows'. Buddha.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 12:14 am 
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Joined: Tue Oct 15, 2013 7:32 pm
Posts: 44
APSATS and Posarc do not work from the codependency model and deal specifically with partner trauma - they work from the trauma model not codependence at all

http://www.apsats.org/

Barbara Steffens runs this organization

http://www.posarc.com/index.php


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2015 8:20 am 
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Joined: Sun Jan 31, 2010 10:51 am
Posts: 243
Hi Rainiegirl. I don't live in America and I don't have any first hand experience of this organisation but I have read several articles by this man, Omar Minwalla, and his work certainly resonates with me.

Try these links and see what you think.

http://theinstituteforsexualhealth.com/ ... or-trauma/

http://theinstituteforsexualhealth.com/ ... uma-model/

http://theinstituteforsexualhealth.com/ ... addiction/

http://theinstituteforsexualhealth.com/ ... untreated/

Best of luck.
A.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 15, 2015 9:19 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2014 5:45 pm
Posts: 45
Thank you for listing the organizations and links above. I needed validation for my feelings tonight and reading through some of the articles helped tremendously.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2015 2:56 pm 
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Partner's Coach

Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 11:36 pm
Posts: 1291
What a helpful thread. I'll be checking out those links.

I just posted this somewhere else, but it helped me a lot. http://www.markmeans.com/clientimages/3 ... course.pdf

The pdf is a summary of Patrick Carnes book Betrayal Bond, which I have been reading and found very helpful. Although a lot of hard work.

_________________

"What day is it,?" asked Pooh.
"It's today," squeaked Piglet.
"My favorite day," said Pooh.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 16, 2015 7:09 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 15, 2013 7:32 pm
Posts: 44
Addo recovery also has a free trauma workshop due to sex addiction
http://addorecovery.com/


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