Recovery Nation

Personal Development Forum
It is currently Mon Oct 14, 2019 4:59 am

All times are UTC - 5 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 8:30 am 
Offline

Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2015 2:51 pm
Posts: 65
I'm just kind of venting here because I'm trying not to unload on H so much. I looked for a journal yesterday but didn't find one I like so I'm using this as a journal style vent.

Last night I had a BAD dream, a dream that H just gave up on recovery and decided that since I knew about everything he didn't have to hide anymore. He started looking at CL ads in front of me and had someone come over. He could barely contain himself and they started doing things before I even left the room.

I woke up feeling so sick.

I hate that we all have to go through this type of trauma, and its hard that it extends even into dreams where, before I was able to escape from all of this. For a week or 2 after Dday I didn't dream at all. Then in my dreams, things were back to normal and the SA never happened.

Now SA is invading my dreams, its not fair.

_________________
"Flying like a cannonball, falling to the earth
Heavy as a feather when, you hit the dirt
How am I the lucky one?, I do not deserve
To wait around forever when, you were there first
First you get hurt, then you feel sorry."


-Cold War Kids


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 12:01 pm 
Offline
Partner's Mentor

Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2014 1:34 pm
Posts: 659
Hi Need-Hope - Yes, as Jon says first thing to us, life is not fair. Wish it was.

I actually started to keep a dream journal. I figure I'm processing trauma as I am able to. Just had an interesting dream last night. I remember having nightmares (the kind I woke up from sweating, heart beating, feeling sick) for a few weeks. Then I went for a long time having no dreams. Then I had the most violent dreams where I was doing terrible things to my husband. (And I can't watch violent movies so that was really strange). Now my dreams are about my husband losing my dogs and not caring or not being responsive to my worries. Sounds like my life! I know some people are into dream interpretation and others aren't. My violent dreams weren't hard to interpret at all. But, I think my current dreams are about not letting my husband lose things that are important to me. In my dream last night, I found my dogs and got them back safe. I see this as progress!

It takes time, this healing. Be gentle with yourself.

With compassion,
dnell


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 9:18 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Nov 24, 2015 2:51 pm
Posts: 65
Thanks for replying. It's so nice to at least have my thoughts and fears acknowledged. Thank goodness for this forum.

I actually am going to write down my dreams in my journal as well once I start one.

_________________
"Flying like a cannonball, falling to the earth
Heavy as a feather when, you hit the dirt
How am I the lucky one?, I do not deserve
To wait around forever when, you were there first
First you get hurt, then you feel sorry."


-Cold War Kids


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group