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 Post subject: Re-opened wounds
PostPosted: Tue Nov 15, 2016 5:15 pm 
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Partner's Mentor

Joined: Mon Sep 16, 2013 3:22 pm
Posts: 124
Posting this with respect for everyone's right to their political viewpoint.

After three years of working through a difficult recovery and divorce, I've gotten to a really good place for myself and my three kids. So I'm really surprised to find myself in a depression similar to post-discovery, where I'm unable to function. I can't stop crying. The US election feels like a public referendum on my personal experience, with the country saying that my experience doesn't matter. Is anyone else having their wounds reopened by the US elections?

I don't want to get in a political debate here. Just looking for commiseration and hope.


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 Post subject: Re: Re-opened wounds
PostPosted: Wed Nov 16, 2016 11:18 am 
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Partner's Mentor

Joined: Thu Apr 18, 2013 11:38 pm
Posts: 515
dear rising,
Your feelings and reaction are not only valid, but shared.

You summed it up very well:
"with the country saying that my experience doesn't matter."

I'm feeling very similar. Dismissed. Discounted. Once again, told, basically, that we should not expect better of (some) men and the trauma we've experienced is not only irrelevant, but something we should just "get over." That we should accept specifics behaviors out of males, and to expect otherwise is hysterical.

I am tired. So very tired. This past week hit me in the gut. It showed me just how far we have to go before our culture recognizes the significant harm of sexual-addicted-induced-trauma (SAIT), a term coined by Dr. Omar Minwalla.

You are not alone in your feelings, rising. Thank you for sharing them here.


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 Post subject: Re: Re-opened wounds
PostPosted: Mon Nov 21, 2016 8:54 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 11, 2016 10:08 am
Posts: 190
I don't live in the US but the election result and future policies will have a global influence. I'm particularly concerned about the rights of women in a world and the increasing reach of pornography, especially violent pornography. I'm concerned about the hypersexualised portrayal of women in "western" cultures, in music, advertising and even video games, because this is what people around the world see as fun and exciting, or aspirational. The election result would suggest to me that we will not be seeing an attempt to promote more progressive attitudes towards women's rights, but the continuation of the attitude that women are property, or prizes to be won based on their physical attributes - but ultimately disposable like last year's Christmas toy, or targets of hatred simply because they have are professional, educated, independent, and use their voice to speak out about injustice. Of course I am dismayed at this outcome. I don't live in the US so I'm not speaking with any in depth knowledge but I cannot understand why the most powerful nation in the world that most other western countries follow cannot accept the idea of a woman as president. The misogyny was shocking. What message is that sending out to the rest of the world?


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 Post subject: Re: Re-opened wounds
PostPosted: Thu Nov 24, 2016 7:28 pm 
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Partner's Mentor

Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 1:20 pm
Posts: 1422
my dears
count me in. in fact, I've made an apt with my psychiatrist to help me figure 0ut where to go from here. after all these years and establishing a good new life, it was a surprise and a shock to be so triggered. It's comforting to know that I am not alone in this and have those I can turn to for understanding. I hold each and every one of you in the light.
can't write more as my computer is misbehaving.

ps not writing as a mentor tonite


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 Post subject: Re: Re-opened wounds
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2016 9:51 am 
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Partner's Mentor

Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2014 1:34 pm
Posts: 661
Me as well. I was shocked by how triggered I was by recent events.

Honestly, nearly everyone I know has been triggered. I think it is seeing so many people feeling victimized and enraged about their victimization. But, and here's the big but, it feels like rage is out of control and being focused on the innocent. So, for me, it's all this rage....

And, yes, hatred of women is out there and being openly expressed and cheered.

I actually had a healing moment with a group of men about how I felt they were complicit in creating a rape culture. They got it. They felt bad. I said "will I EVER be able to trust any of you." One of them said, "you can trust some of us individually but not us collectively."

Hard stuff.

Be gentle with yourself. Self care is critical. Finding sanctuary is critical. Staying connected is critical.

dnell (also not writing as a mentor)


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