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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 3:30 pm 
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Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2017 5:11 pm
Posts: 18
It’s been almost three months since I told my husband I was done being lied to, and that I wanted out of the relationship (23 years together). He’d diligently completed 45 of the Recovery lessons, all while continuing to lie to me, act out, and gaslight- also while insisting we go to couples therapy where he continued to manipulate me by lying there, too. To top it off, he was seeing an addiction counselor, who he also lied to.

Now he’s moved out, and very sad. He’s “miserable” and “lonely” and all the other emotions that a person would feel. Except, continuing to work on his addiction problem doesn’t really seem to resonate with him at all.

In fact, he hasn’t posted any lessons or comments anywhere on Recovery Nation since he moved out.

I feel so angry and stupid that I put up with his unhealthy situation for so long, knowing now that not even losing the kids and me would be enough for him to take his addiction seriously.

I hope for his sake that he will someday wake up and begin to live authentically. In the meantime, I know for sure that I made the right choice.

I would like to share the following observation, which comes from stepping back a bit: If you think he’s only doing the recovery work to keep from losing you, then you might question how serious he really is about living clean. In my mind, doing the right thing when there’s nobody around is the meaning of integrity. Doing the right thing to show off for others is manipulative, by definition.

My heart goes out to all the partners out there who are in pain, and filled with uncertainty. Please know that you are doing your best, and even though there are no easy answers, you will find your path.

~The Stoic


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