Recovery Nation

Personal Development Forum
It is currently Thu Aug 22, 2019 5:14 am

All times are UTC - 5 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 9 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2017 6:28 pm 
Offline

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2016 9:54 pm
Posts: 44
Exercise 1
Honesty


Last edited by 2020changing on Thu Mar 28, 2019 4:33 am, edited 3 times in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2017 6:34 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Dec 11, 2016 3:34 pm
Posts: 81
Updated Lesson 2 - Vision Statement

When I look back on my life I will have lived a life of commitment and fulfillment.

I committed myself to my wife and family and will be remembered for being an honest and loyal husband, and a loving, adventurous and supportive father. My family will remember me for being courageous, vulnerable, and sensitive to their needs. I pledged my heart and meant it. Others trusted me – while I was independent, I was always reliable, closely connected to my family, responsible and did the right thing. I was a hard worker and was always willing to lend a hand to others.
I followed my passions for sports and enjoyed being a team player. Throughout my life I was a voracious reader and student of history and pursued my writing passion. I loved learning for its own sake. I explored the world and embraced new ideas and the people around me. I had a hunger for learning and self-improvement. I developed my natural talents over my life - analyzing different issues and writing about them. I helped start and grow new businesses and provide structure and organization to help ideas get off the ground. I was calm and confident in stressful situations and strived to be humble and open-minded when working with others. Above all, I was loving, caring and cheerful to others.
I lived my dreams and built a legacy for my family. In my life I frequently traveled to the beach and mountains and spent as much time with my wife, kids and grandkids as possible. I helped our kids get established in life so they can be successful. I followed and discussed politics, sports and the issues of my time. I felt loved and valued in my life, and was intimate and playful with my wife and enjoyed the everyday challenges of life. I built and enjoyed with my family a warm, loving and inviting home.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2017 6:35 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Dec 11, 2016 3:34 pm
Posts: 81
Updated Lesson 2 - Vision Statement

When I look back on my life I will have lived a life of commitment and fulfillment.

I committed myself to my wife and family and will be remembered for being an honest and loyal husband, and a loving, adventurous and supportive father. My family will remember me for being courageous, vulnerable, and sensitive to their needs. I pledged my heart and meant it. Others trusted me – while I was independent, I was always reliable, closely connected to my family, responsible and did the right thing. I was a hard worker and was always willing to lend a hand to others.
I followed my passions for sports and enjoyed being a team player. Throughout my life I was a voracious reader and student of history and pursued my writing passion. I loved learning for its own sake. I explored the world and embraced new ideas and the people around me. I had a hunger for learning and self-improvement. I developed my natural talents over my life - analyzing different issues and writing about them. I helped start and grow new businesses and provide structure and organization to help ideas get off the ground. I was calm and confident in stressful situations and strived to be humble and open-minded when working with others. Above all, I was loving, caring and cheerful to others.
I lived my dreams and built a legacy for my family. In my life I frequently traveled to the beach and mountains and spent as much time with my wife, kids and grandkids as possible. I helped our kids get established in life so they can be successful. I followed and discussed politics, sports and the issues of my time. I felt loved and valued in my life, and was intimate and playful with my wife and enjoyed the everyday challenges of life. I built and enjoyed with my family a warm, loving and inviting home.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2017 8:18 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Dec 11, 2016 3:34 pm
Posts: 81
B. Vision statement expansion

I will rebuild trust and intimacy with my wife and deepen our love. We will shift focus of our relationship to being healthy and enjoying life through living our values.

Looking back, we will see the following: challenges - overcame sexual addiction and a dysfunctional relationship. Experiences - celebrated children graduating high school and college; celebrated children becoming independent/getting married; grandchildren, travel to exciting places and buying our dream retirement home.

Obstacles:
- poor communication
- lack of trust and intimacy
- lack of forgiveness
- sexual addiction
- low self esteem
- selfishness

Goals
-travel to favorite countries in Europe
-deep sea fishing in Florida
-sell business and retire
- write a book
- travel throughout southwest desert area
-have grandchildren
- see kids get married

Partner Goals
-river cruise in Europe
-get kids successfully launched
move to dream home for retirement
-grandkids

top 10 practical values
1. honesty and integrity
2. self respect
3. loe
4. express emotions
5. intimacy and vulnerability
6. courage to confront
7. personal boundaries
8. good parent and husband
9. live healthy lifestyle
10. live purposefully


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Mar 09, 2017 8:36 pm 
Offline

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2016 9:54 pm
Posts: 44
Exercise 3
What healthy behaviors would you like to see


Last edited by 2020changing on Thu Mar 28, 2019 4:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 6:55 am 
Offline

Joined: Sun Dec 11, 2016 3:34 pm
Posts: 81
What behaviors are unacceptable in my spouse:

Yelling, screaming, being the "parent" and extreme anger/rage. I realize that my lying and withholding through our relationship, particularly since we have started down our path of rebuilding our marriage has been emotionally devastating to you. I am very clear that I have been the source of so much hurt for you. I believe that as I openly share myself, and make myself vulnerable your anger will naturally go away. There is no consequence that I can give because the natural consequence of continuing this unhealthy pattern will erode our trust and connection with each other and jeopardize our marriage.

What healthy behaviors that I would like to see in my spouse (and I will also display to you):

1. Please clearly communicate your emotional distress to me in a respectful way.
2. When necessary, take a "cooling down" break so we can resume our communication in a healthy way.
3. Use respectful language and tone when communicating to me.
4. Proactively share your feelings with me.
5. Journal your thoughts and feelings.
6. Exercise your body and mind.
7. Be open, honest and vulnerable.
8. Be adult like with each other and live by our boundaries and values.

The natural consequence of not living this way will be a breakdown in our communication, erosion of trust and intimacy between us, loss of respect for each other, emotional suffering and potential breakdown of our marriage.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 6:55 am 
Offline

Joined: Sun Dec 11, 2016 3:34 pm
Posts: 81
I love you forever 2020changing!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2017 6:46 pm 
Offline

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2016 9:54 pm
Posts: 44
X


Last edited by 2020changing on Mon Jul 03, 2017 4:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2017 6:47 pm 
Offline

Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2016 9:54 pm
Posts: 44
We completed partnership contract and communication exercises (4 and 5)


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 9 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group