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PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2021 7:59 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 19
Consider where you feel in relation to the 3 recovery keys.

1. Actively committing yourself to change
- I reread over the lesson and have a deeper realization of what it means to make this commitment. If I am honest with myself I am still very lazy when it comes to doing so. I constantly watch television and chat with women instead of working on this workshop and going to meetings. I go through the lessons very quickly or sometimes very slowly because I constantly get distracted. I realize that I can't seek comfort in this commitment right now. I realize that I'm not always going to have that drive to do the lessons and to spend my days applying the words to my life. Sometimes this will suck. Although, I also have realized that my current life is not a life I want to lead. I want to grow and develop into a better human being. To begin this process I'll have to take on the discomfort. There is absolutely no other way. This I know now.

2. Not allowing guilt or shame to sabotage your commitment to change.
- I do have some shame about what I have watched, my objectifying women in public, the way I get so nervous around people, and about what my life has become. It stirs me up a little even just to share this. Although I realize the best I can do is accept where I am right now. What more can I do? I can't make a drastic change in a moments notice. The only thing to do it is to take away the addiction and this workshop is to me is one of the best things to help with that.

3. Allowing yourself time to change
- I feel as though I am growing to catch on to this more and more. One gentleman in a 12 steps meeting I was in last night said "Impatience is not only being pushy but it is also not trusting the path." That was a very powerful statement for me. I feel that I have been constantly searching for the "one answer" that will heal me immediately. This has taken me down many areas from different methods of recovery to different spiritual methods, different books, etc. In this moment I realize none of it did much for me but taught me that I needed to slow down. That I needed to apply these things where I am in my life instead of just trying to implement many new habits at one time.

B. 10-15 reasons that motivate me to change my life?
1. Having a loving relationship with a woman built on caring, intimacy, honesty, trust, and acceptance
2. Expressing my life in the way that I would most desire to for ME and not others
3. Getting into great physical shape so that I can feel more alive!
4. Learning to grow up and take responsibility for how I manage my life
5. Communicating with others in a way that each of us can reach into our hearts and souls and discover more vulnerability and love
6. Reaching deeper into spirituality in order to develop more love for myself and others
7. Inspiring other addicts to believe in themselves
8. Putting my energy into starting a motivational speaking business in order to serve others
9. Making better quality friends
10. Breaking the cycle of limiting beliefs in myself and my family
11. Developing a loving relationship with my family


Last edited by Beautyseeker2224 on Sat Dec 04, 2021 12:40 am, edited 10 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:17 am 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 294
Welcome to RN Beautyseeker2224,

You have a long way to go to get healthy,
but if you stick to doing 2 or 3 lessons per week (some take more time) and keep focused you will find out how good it can be for your recovery.

Good luck :g:

_________________
“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2021 9:44 am 
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Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 19
Lesson two exercises

A big part of this for me is too deeply study myself each day. First and foremost I would like to begin by being completely honest with who I am. To complete this task I will make lists that only affirm the truth about where I stand in my life within the areas I value and go over them daily. Secondly, I want to heal the wounds of my childhood. I will do this by first educating myself about childhood wounds and pondering on the words and how they relate to me. Then taking time to be silent and going back to those early events that wounded me and accepting them. I want a life were I am not inflicting the pain of my past on to others and can deeply love myself.

Secondly, I would like to develop daily self-discipline. I want to take care of my health, my dream is to be a 165 lb. plant-based athlete. I will compete in swimming, mountaineering, and ultra-running events. To achieve this I will commit to exercising daily, developing better sleeping habits, and eating a plant-based diet. I want to get more out of my relationships, I would like to be able to have good conversations with the people close to me. Not only casual ones but conversations that invoke heart, soul, and vulnerability. To do this I will study about bettering my communication then constantly find a way to take action and start conversations. The last thing me in this area is financial independence. My long-term goal is to pay off my student loans, move to a small village in Peru near the mountains and never have to work a job again. I would like to start a motivational speaking business. I will start off educating myself on how to speak well and going to toastmasters events.

The last part of this for me is service. I believe in the mission of health-based recovery and would like to share this information with other addicts. To start I will go to the porn recovery forums and share what I have learned from this site and read in books on healing the inner-child that have greatly helped me. I want to inspire others to go and do the work with the stories of what I went through and how I healed myself.


Last edited by Beautyseeker2224 on Wed Nov 17, 2021 6:47 pm, edited 8 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 01, 2021 1:38 pm 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 4097
Location: UK
Hello BS and I add my welcome to that from T

your vision
a whole life in 4 topics :pe:
I suggest that you expand on this before moving on
your reasons for change coupled to your vision provide the corner stones of the foundation of your recovery
yours as it stands appears to be a tick in a box

I suggest that you read coach Mel's "how to " found in this forum
but as always you get to choose
choose wisely but some how why and whens might stand you in good stead in the future, your future

remember the only person that can make these changes is you, so the hard work needs to come from you
looking forwards to reading your posts and wishing you all the best

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2021 1:36 pm 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 294
Hey BS,

It has been a month since you started your thread, what happened?
A lot of people on here will tell you how much RN has helped them recover and most will tell you to stick with it and work through the lessons as each one brings new knowledge. If you stop/start things will be very difficult for you reach your goal!

_________________
“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 25, 2021 3:31 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 19
Wow thanks for checking up on me. I guess if I am being honest I have been pretty lazy about it. I have been following Coach Mel's Idea of setting up my own vision and everything for 5 minutes a day just trying to start small and build my desire. I was hoping eventually my clear vision would make me want to do this more but I am beginning to realize a lot of this will rely on me myself. I have a few of the assignments finished. Although I wanted to go back over them before posting.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2021 11:00 am 
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Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:39 am
Posts: 294
Hi BS2224

Quote:
I am beginning to realize a lot of this will rely on me myself


Glad to see that you have seen the light, it is all about YOU and RN is here to give you some tools and aid your recovery.

My advice is to dive right in a start putting things down, there are plenty here to help you and you can go back over things as required.
You may also find as time goes by that your mind changes on your earlier writings.
I and a few others have been through the workshop more than once.

_________________
“Change your thoughts, change your life.” ~Lao Tzu
Regards
T


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 10, 2021 8:29 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 19
Lesson 3 Exercises:
1. Practicing yoga for the health of my body
2. Practicing meditation to develop a deeper relationship with my human nature
3. Exercising to keep a healthy body and compete in athletic events
4. Read a few pages of oriental philosophy
5. Read 12 books a year
6. Goto sleep at a reasonable time
7. Attend the meeting or a spiritual group once a week
8. Learn to communicate better
9. Learn about financial independence
10. living with compassion
11. Daily self-inquiry
12. Presence
13. Adventure
14. Drug and alcohol free
15. Eating a plant-based diet each day
16. Looking deeper into the nature of who I am
17. Discipline
18. Self-motivation
19. Peace of mind
20. Humbleness
21. Non-Dualistic
22. honesty
23. Get married and be a good husband and father
24. Become skilled in something to stop working a job
25. Creativity
26. Communicating feelings
27. Open-minded
28. Awareness
29. Organization
30. Cleanliness
31. Ambition
32. Authenticity
33. being my best
34. Bravery
35. Maturity
36. Curiosity
37. Consciousness
38. Confidence
39. Growth
40. Detachment
41. Connection to others
42. Friendliness
43. Acceptance of myself
44. Dedication
45. Resilience
46. Dependability
47. Solitude
48. Concentration
49. Peace of mind
50. Getting out of the rat race
51. Finding a way to help the community
52. Public speaking
53. No social media
54. Patience
55. Energy
56. Gratitude
57. Impact
58. Kindness
59. Trust
60. Watchfulness
61. Wealth
62. Serenity
63. Happiness
64. Sacrifice
65. Knowing how to say no
66. No television
67. Stillness
68. Listening to others
69. Carefulness
70. Self-love
71. self-reliance
72. Figuring out my own definition of success
73. Not to be a follower


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2021 8:57 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 19
Lesson 4 exercises:
1. Exercising to keep a healthy body and compete in athletic events
2. Eating a plant-based diet each day
3. Going sleep at a reasonable time
4. Daily self-inquiry
5. Authenticity
6. Presence
7. Read 12 books a year
8. Cleanliness
9. Drug and alcohol free
10. Discipline
11. self-reliance
12. Self-love
13. Patience
14. Carefulness
15. Learn to communicate better
16. Self-motivaton
17. Knowing how to say no
18. Acceptance of myself
19. Becoming skilled in something
20. Getting out of the rat race
21. Awareness
22. Being my best
23. Peace of mind
24. Humbleness
25. Non-Dualistic view
26. Gratitude
27. Honesty
28. Maturity
29. Ambition
30. Dedication
31. Living with compassion
32. Learn about financial independence
33. Adventure
34. Curiosity
35. Open minded
36. Sacrifice
37. Stillness
38. Creativity
39. Growth
40. Confidence
41. Concentration
42. Solitude
43. Peace of mind
44. Communicating feelings
45. Consciousness
46. Bravery
47. Connection to others
48. Not to be a follower
49. No television
50. Friendliness
51. No social media
52. Organization
53. Finding a way to help the community
54. Wealth
55. Resilience
56. Detachment
57. Get married and be a good husband and father
58. Practicing yoga for the health of my body
59. Practicing meditation to develop a deeper relationship with my human nature
60. Trust
61. Read a few pages of oriental philosophy to study myself
62. Dependability
63. Public speaking
64. Impact
65. Finding a way to help the community
66. Energy
67. Attend the meeting or a spiritual group once a week
68. Looking deeper into the nature of who I am
69. Serenity
70. Watchfulness
71. Kindness
72. Happiness
73. Figuring out my own definition of success


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 16, 2021 6:25 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 19
Top 15 Values
1. Physical Health (Exercise, Sleep, Diet, Athletic competitions)
2. Daily self-inquiry
3. Developing skills
4. Adventure and Curiosity
5. Self-education
6. Cleanliness
7. Drug and alcohol-free
8. Discipline, Self-reliance, and Taking Responsibility
9. Self-love, healing my wounds, happiness, and patience
10. Learn to communicate better
11. Honesty, Trust, and Happiness
12. Spirituality
13. Self-Motivation
14. Helping other addicts
15. Financial Independence


Last edited by Beautyseeker2224 on Sat Nov 20, 2021 9:37 am, edited 7 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 17, 2021 2:28 pm 
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Recovery Mentor

Joined: Tue Jan 07, 2020 4:07 pm
Posts: 164
hi there!

i just wanted to comment on good work between having a mix of practical and universal values! i think that's a healthy approach to have.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 19, 2021 6:59 am 
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Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 19
Thanks a lot for this! I wanted to think of values that I could get started implementing right away. Just in small steps though.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2021 9:38 am 
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Recovery Coach

Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2010 8:07 pm
Posts: 4097
Location: UK
Hello BS
Quote:
I wanted to think of values that I could get started implementing right away.


I would have liked to see honesty trust and happiness all of which were in your initial list somehow incorporated into your top 15

perhaps consider joining of values say


Exercising and Eating a plant-based dietto keep a healthy body and compete in athletic events


Adventure and Curiosity

Self-Reliance and Self-love with Daily self-inquiry

Quote:
Just in small steps though.

small but consistent
your life, your recovery your choice
take my thoughts or trash them

_________________
Remember recovery is more than abstinence
Every transition begins with an ending
Do not confuse happiness with seeking pleasure
stay healthy keep safe
Coach Kenzo


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2021 6:28 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 19
Thanks for checking up on me Kenzo, I know you guys are probably pretty busy. I have taken a look into it and changed some stuff around.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2021 10:51 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 19
Lesson 6 exercise
- Physical Health (Exercise, Sleep, Diet, Athletic competitions)
- Write a workout
- Go to the gym on Wednesdays and Fridays
- Know that you may feel a little insecurity at first
- Take a 15 minute walk on Sundays
- Continue my swim lessons on Saturdays
- Work on a list of plant-based recipes
- Aim to eat two plant based meals a week (Wednesdays and Fridays)
- Aim to goto sleep by 11 pm each night
- Daily self-inquiry
- Read 10 pages of Krishnamurti's commentaries for living book each day and take notes
- Reflect on the notes that I have taken
- take 15 mins a day to have complete silence
- Helping other addicts
- Visit a porn recovery forum twice a week and comment advice on one post each time or make my own post


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