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PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2021 9:50 pm 

Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 33
Lesson 10 Exercises:
1. I guess for me I have been deceiving women through chats. I had a relationship with one of them in real life but talk to 1 other who I have only seen through video chat. I sometimes impulsively tell them that we will get married someday but when I look into it I realize that these statements are driven by anxiety of losing them and being alone.
2. I am not currently involved in a partnership
3. I am not currently involved in outside counseling
4. List of items:
1. Photos of women from past relationships in my phone
5. None at the moment
6. List of places
1. Internet: surf for porn

PostPosted: Tue Nov 09, 2021 12:45 am 
Recovery Mentor

Joined: Tue Jan 07, 2020 4:07 pm
Posts: 190
Hi there,

I wanted to share some encouragement on lesson 10 about absolute honesty. You don't need to share anything here, but just to do some genuine self reflection on honesty in your life. The further you continue on this journey, the more you’ll realize how honesty pervades all areas of your life...and not just sex addiction.

-fm fka lk

PostPosted: Tue Nov 09, 2021 8:37 am 

Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 33
Thank you so much. This is very helpful. I realize that I do need to take some time to self-reflect on how honest I have been with myself and others.

PostPosted: Tue Nov 16, 2021 3:00 am 

Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 33
Lesson 12 Exercises
Those Who Will Continue to Struggle With Relapse

Their motivation for recovery comes from an attempt to appease others (e.g. to save a relationship; to deflect attention from the behaviors)
- Deep down I don't want others to think I am weird. Many of my thoughts are sexual and I have a lot of shame around them. While I can hide my thoughts I do not do very well At hiding the expressions of shame or anxiety surrounding my thoughts. I become fearful that people may somehow find out my secret.

They minimize their behavior (e.g. "It's not how it seems"; "It's not that big of a deal.")
- I tend to give myself excuses to be lazy at times. I tell myself "one-day things will work out for me." That leads me to take time off and wait for a special moment to come that will end it.

They believe that they are uniquely defective and/or damaged as human beings
- I've always held up my childhood wounds as who I am. I have believed that because of my story I am limited in this life. I used to (and sometimes still do) go around telling people my story so that they will pity me.

They believe that what they are experiencing is their fate
- This is not even just when it comes to this habit for me but especially alcohol and drugs. Sometimes I believe I will never be able to give certain things up.

They suspect that they will never be able to overcome their urges, and so their goals are to establish the appearance of change, rather than to pursue actual change.
- I have definitely been here and sometimes I still am. I realize at the moment I am very motivated to do this but eventually, this will fade and it will take discipline to complete this workshop. Although I tend to discuss my life with many people in a good light. Giving them a self-image that I am an incredibly hard worker constantly working to change my life.

They find comfort in being able to use "powerlessness" as an excuse for continuing to engage in their behavior.
- As I said before at the moment I am motivated but usually when this fades sometimes I tell myself that I can't do it. Every time I realize I can use a little more willpower I give up.

They often attempt to "prove" their sincerity to others through voicing dreams, sharing words, and making promises, rather than through their actions.
- I'll do this to anyone who will listen to me. Tell them a good story on my dreams and how I am working hard but not following through with my actions.

Those Who Will Occasionally Struggle with Relapse

They believe that they are defective in the sense that their emotions, urges, impulses, etc. are experienced with much more intensity than "normal people". And this puts them at a disadvantage for living a "normal life".
- This is definitely true for me. I feel that just because I don't see it written on people's faces that they are not experiencing similar struggles to me. I realize many of us just tend to hide it well.

They tend to confuse addiction recovery with general mental health issues — creating hypersensitivity to all of the emotions that they experience. Depression, anxiety, anger — are all tightly related to "recovery" and an imbalance in one often leads to an imbalance in the other.
- I am just knowing this differently after reading this. I always assumed that once my addiction ended my anxiety and depression would greatly diminish. Also that I can't eat healthily or work out often because This addiction is making me so depressed. This is an eye-opener.

They tend to hyper analyze their actions, thoughts, and feelings...and make the possibility of living a "normal" life all but impossible.
- Many of the things I do I end up feeling a lot of shame guilt. I end up overthinking about how someone saw the action I did. Sometimes actions even from long ago. Other times I feel nervous or that I mess up during social interactions.

PostPosted: Tue Nov 16, 2021 5:44 pm 

Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 33
Lesson 13 Exercises:

1. In early recovery, individuals often experience significant doubts relating to their ability to change.
- I definitely have many doubts that either this won't work for me or that I will be running from my addiction forever

- In early recovery, extremely negative emotions are the norm: especially as they relate to depression, anxiety, hopelessness, and suicide.
- I have not tried to stop for a long time. I still use it each day. The longest I have gone was 22 days and I felt a lot of hopelessness and had a few suicidal thoughts.

- In early recovery, they perceive "powerlessness" as "helplessness" and "desperation".
- I still used it each day for precisely this reason.

2. Consider the values that surround both your healthy and unhealthy patterns. Are they consistent with your current prioritized values? If yes, wonderful. If not, how might this awareness alter how you are currently perceiving/managing your recovery? Share your thoughts in the community forum.

- They are not consistent with my values. I feel as though I am unable to reach for any of those things until I decide to this addiction behind me. This awareness may mean that I see recovery as not possible or this addiction as something that I am unable to fight against.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2021 11:21 pm 

Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 33
Lesson 7 Exercises:
1. Physical Health (Exercise, Sleep, Diet, Athletic competitions)
1. Write out a 5-day workout
2. Write out a stretch routine to stick too
3. Write down 10 recipes for a plant-based diet
4. Make 10 pm my bed time
2. Daily self-inquiry
1. Go back over the lessons in this forum write down ways the concepts relate to my daily experience
3. Developing skills
1. Continue my swim lessons
2. Look up Youtube videos on how improve my swim technique then practice at my local gym
4. Adventure and Curiosity
1. Sit down and make a list of museums that I would like to visit that are close.
2. Make a list of places near me I would like to visit that I can travel to on bus or train.
5. Self-education
1. Make a list of 12 books that I would like to read for the year that are in alignment with my vision.
6. Cleanliness
1. Make my bed each day
2. Brush and floss my teeth each morning and night
3. Clean my room 2 days a week
7. Drug and alcohol-free
1. Find a way to work on quitting weed, alcohol and cigarettes
8. Discipline, Self-reliance, and Taking Responsibility
1. Writing a todo list each night to stack up days of accomplishment and consistence in creating new habits
2. Remember that there is not insight that will come to do this in the future. It's purely based on you
3. It's okay to fail on parts of your list when you are learning to set it up. some tasks may be too big.
9. Self-love, healing my wounds, happiness, and patience
1. Go through my notes from this workshop and other resources and journal how they relate to my life.
2. Add a book on fulfilment to my list of books for the year
10. Learn to communicate better
1. Begin Reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People" to start developing my communication skills
2. Based on the principles of the book start up conversations with my family
3. Attend a toastmasters event
11. Honesty and Trust
1. Look over my list of problems each day
2. Spend 5-10 mins in silence daily
12. Patience
1. Find a way to celebrate my small wins
2. Try to remember that success comes from small consistent actions
13. Growth
1. Work on the assignments of this addiction workshop each day
14. Helping other addicts
1. Visit a porn recovery forum twice a week
15. Financial Independence
1. Increase my savings rate by 1% each month
2. Read The Richest Man in Babylon

PostPosted: Sat Nov 20, 2021 11:24 am 

Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 33
Exercise 14:
1. Did you engage in a behavior that is beneficial to your physical health today? (Physical Health)
2. Have I taken time to deepen the connection with the beauty of the spiritual side of myself? (spirituality)
3. Have I taken some time to inquire into the nature of my addiction in order to dig deeper and live a healthier life? (Self-inquiry)
4. Have I worked on the communication skill that will enable me to commit more heart, soul and vulnerability to others? (skill development)
5. Have I served in a forum where there are others suffering from addiction like me to whom I can give new information? (Helping Other Addicts)
6. Have I in any way contributed to the practices of maintaining a clean body and habitat? (Cleanliness)
7. Have I taken time to practice loving myself in order to heal the wounds I bear and become a better human for myself and others? (self-love)
8. Have I taken time to gain wisdom and assess the level of belief in myself to know that I am worthy of reaching my dreams? (self-motivation)
9. Have I taken the opportunity to enrich my future by learning and putting into action the monitoring of my finances? (financial independence
10. Have I developed/built my strength and opened the window for the availability of future freedom by engaging in actions of self-discipline? (Self-discipline)

PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2021 9:34 am 

Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 33
Lesson 15 Exercises:
- Of what I have learned so far I have integrated the necessity of going back over the lessons, relating them to myself and refining my answers.

PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2021 10:25 am 

Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 33
Lesson 16 exercise:
- Short-term emotional relief from depression
- Helped me to cope with heartbreak and a neglected childhood
- Brought to my attention my lack of values

PostPosted: Mon Dec 06, 2021 10:57 pm 

Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 33
Sensory stimulation:
- Sight: Viewing internet porn, photos on Reddit, photos of Ex-lovers
- Touch: stimulating my own receptors
- Sound: Hearing the moans of the person in the porn

- Constantly catching glimpses of women's buttocks and possibly fantasizing about them later. fantasizing past sexual experiences or new ones with an ex-lover. Fantasizing about being with the individuals in porn scenes.

- The feeling of finding the perfect scene or having the perfect fantasy.

- Imagining a scenario where I am very rough with someone or someone else is very rough with me.

- Not having forgiven my mother for a neglected childhood.

- smoking cigarettes immediately after masturbation, eating addiction

- the absolute goal of my masturbation

PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2021 9:58 am 
Recovery Mentor

Joined: Fri Oct 04, 2019 3:29 pm
Posts: 171
Hi BeautySeeker

Just a short note to encourage you in your recent progress. You seem to be putting time and effort into working through the programme, and gaining insights into your behaviours along the way. I liked how you described the realisation below as an "eye-opener". It's great to be reminded of the changes that the workshop is making in our understanding and behaviours along the way.

They tend to confuse addiction recovery with general mental health issues — creating hypersensitivity to all of the emotions that they experience. Depression, anxiety, anger — are all tightly related to "recovery" and an imbalance in one often leads to an imbalance in the other - I am just knowing this differently after reading this. I always assumed that once my addiction ended my anxiety and depression would greatly diminish. Also that I can't eat healthily or work out often because This addiction is making me so depressed. This is an eye-opener.

I also liked your work on action plans. I can remember being quite overwhelmed with them all at the beginning, and how much it would add to my daily routine! There is a lot of stuff in there, but just try to work on one or two things at once. Over time, the behaviours will become better integrated into your daily life and actions. I feel as if you need a bit more detail for some of them though. If our plans are vague, then it's very likely that they won't achieve what we want. I was especially struck by this one:

7. Drug and alcohol-free
1. Find a way to work on quitting weed, alcohol and cigarettes

It sounds to me as if this is an important goal for you, but it struck me as being far too vague and aspirational to be of much practical use. As an action plan, I would suggest that you need to put more time and effort into working out what it actually means for you.#

Keep up the good work and stay safe.


PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2021 10:07 am 

Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 33
Thanks a lot Tim!

I have been going back over the foundational lessons and also some of the audio recordings. I came to the realization that when I got to the health monitoring section that I was putting a lot on myself. I re-read the orientation and realized that this was a point that many people came to. I decided to look back over my vision as I go through these lessons. I realized that it was not very practical for where I am at the moment. Nor is it very clear. I have also rewritten my reasons for change to things that are more important to my day-to-day life and what I want out of it. Of course, I may go over this again in the future though.

This has really become important to me though. I realize that the lessons in building a foundation are not much different from the principles that successful and fulfilled people live by. I have read many books and listened to many lectures by them over the past year. Along with John's words, it has really got me thinking of what I could become in this lifetime. I realize the lessons in the foundation of the workshop will be valuable skills to learn to start off my path to a better life so I want to give them more time.

PostPosted: Fri Dec 10, 2021 3:47 pm 

Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 33
Lesson 18:

Time: These days I cannot masturbate more than three times a day without reaching a saturation point.

Habituation: after years of watching heterosexual porn and many different kinds of fetish. I saw an ad for transexual porn after breaking up with an ex-girlfriend and being depressed and began making it a primary source of porn for me.

Intensity: after masturbation alone didn't stimulate me as much I would sometimes play with my anus or put objects in it. I would also begin to use women to play with my anus or lick it so that I could reach a more intense point of orgasm.

PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2021 8:06 pm 

Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 33
Lesson 20 exercise

Question 1:

1. Childhood:
- I remember spending a good bit of time playing outside with friends each day. Just thinking of it now makes me feel so warm inside. I moved rather often because of my moms drug activity but my parents did a great job of hiding it from my younger brother and I. We always made new friends with the local children in the neighborhood. We’d have snowball fights, play childish games and come home to a warm meal cooked up by my mom.

2. Pre-teen years:
- Eventually as I grew up and started to get a better perception of the world and realized that my mom was going from rehab center to rehab center as a crack addict. Sometimes we would stay with her but other times we had to stay with my grandmother or father. I remember beginning to cry and pray for long periods of time through the nights in bed because I just wanted her to get better. I didn’t understand how tough addiction was. I just wanted my mom back. Eventually my behavior in school constantly got me kicked out and expelled from different schools. So I stayed home. It was at this time that I found out about internet porn and online dating sites. I would borrow my dad’s phone most nights and spend many hours talking to women and masturbating to porn.
- Eventually I went to middle school and again moved to a new neighborhood because my mother was out of rehab. During some of the first days there I met a guy who was a little older than me (3-4 years) who one day showed my little brother and I a pornographic DVD and eventually suggested we engage in sex. So we all did and this become an emotionally exhilarating experience for me. This guy became a friend and began to show up often and we would all engage in sex. Eventually as we got older it stopped and I began getting locked up for petty crimes as I was hanging out with a bad mix of people in the inner-city we lived in. While locked up I would masturbate every opportunity I got.

- Roles addiction played in this situation?
- It played a role in helping me to numb myself from my sadness and anger that I felt.
- Played a role in helping me to cover my wound but not fully heal it.
- When I was locked up it helped me with stress relief.
- Helped me to escape from reality

3. Teen Years:
- After my last time getting out of jail we moved again. This time back to my grandma whom was living in North Carolina with My aunt at the time. It was my mom, my bother and I. The moment I came home I was surprised with a new phone and went immediately back to my old habits. Although this time I began meeting up with women. I had my first sexual experience with a women in a matter of months and this was the first and last time I had orgasmed with a women as the delayed ejaculation set in there after. Eventually I would go on to meet many women and the only thing on my mind would be sex. I did not have much care for what they looked liked I just wanted sex at this point. I then began touching the butts of women I barely knew in my high school. I was actually kicked out of an apprenticeship program for it. Eventually I had to move in with a friend and team wrestling coach and was caught masturbating in his sons bed naked by my friend. I didn’t even stop then. I continued to go about it. Lastly, I remember graduating and in my state we all traveled to the beach for a week of partying called “senior week”. I got drunk and had sex with a women I had just met in the bathroom as my friends were talking in another room and she ended up crying. It seemed she regretted her decision. I remember feeling a hint of remorse but then begged her with her to continue going as I eventually finished.

- Roles:
- The role for my addiction here was to help appease my boredom.
- Another role was to use it as a way to combat my emotions.
- Yet another was to combat the shame I felt
- Lastly, it was to feel loved.

4. College:
- Eventually, I went on to college and kicked it off with having sex with a women I had barely known. I would often masturbate when my roommate was not around. Although at this stage I had more of a social life. One morning he actually caught me as I left the door unlocked he peeked in and noticed but had never mentioned anything about it. I would have sex with women and eventually try to escalate to things they were uncomfortable with or break their hearts. Eventually I transferred schools and the same thing happened except this time no women were involved. I had a better social life but I was still compulsively masturbating on weekends when my roommate would leave to go home for weekends. I began skipping classes and would even masturbate during the day.

- Roles:
- One role was that this helped me to deal with the stress of college
- Another was that it helped me to deal with depression from failing my courses.

5. After college:
- I ended up dropping out of school and living with my grandma. I still had very little knowledge about what porn addiction was. I wasn’t aware of how much I was staying in my room watching porn, of how I gained an extreme amount of anxiety around people. Eventually I began to get into good physical shape as I learned about a plant based diet. I met a women in the gym and fell in love with her just because she had approached me and gave me attention. As I have rarely ever talked to women. She invited me to a party with her family and flirted with a guy while she was drunk. I was not too far away and heard the entire thing but I accepted her back. I couldn’t even gage that it was a red flag at this point. We went on dates and I ended up falling head over heels for this women whom I barely knew. Although I didn’t realize how much anxiety I still had to communicate with her. It was only sometimes when I got high on weed or LSD that we engaged in true conversation. She seemed excited about me in the beginning as she even took me to meet her friends. Eventually I noticed a decline in us hanging out together and that made me a bit emotional and of course porn was there to help. One day during this time period I took a large dose of LSD as I had done a few times before and it gave me a traumatic experience about this addiction. A little while after she broke up with me and for the first time in my life I had experience true heart break by a women. This lead me to an escalation in porn. It wasn’t until I began watching tranny porn after viewing an ad that I began researching about porn addiction. This gave me more shame. I began thinking that I should come out to my family that I was gay. I hung out with a friend who had a very negative girlfriend and I even felt shame about looking at guys on TV at times. She noticed and while in another room would mention to him that I may be gay as I over heard it. She would intentionally bring up gay topics just to watch me get uncomfortable. Eventually I ran into a book about backpacking and this influenced me deeply to travel and see the world so I saved my money, quit my job and booked a trip to Nicaragua. I thought I could run away from my problems. I stayed their for two and a half weeks and didn’t masturbate as I stayed in hostels with other travelers although I began to notice how socially awkward I was while around the other travelers. I had sex with a women from the UK there with no sexual boundaries at all. She made the intention as if she wanted it and we ended up having sex in an old boat on the beach at night. After Nicaragua I reached Guatemala and stayed with a local family while I taught english. Here is where the addiction began too creep back in. I had my own room and my cellphone. I began going straight to tranny porn. Of course I was incredibly awkward around a lot of the family except the son. He and I would smoke weed, drink and goto parties. Eventually I met a girl who was a hippie. She was a drunk whom only wanted me because I was an American and could buy her beers. We went back to a hostel and had sex on the first night of course. That lasted two nights. Eventually I met another women in the bar who instantly became my girlfriend. I would rent a private room in a hostel during the weekends and we would have sex. Eventually the pandemic came and I needed a place to say because the hostel was costing too much and the borders closed. I stayed with her and her two children and I tried to have sex every night I could. When we didn’t have sex I watched tranny porn. I began to sink into a deep depression and had many intrusive thoughts that I am not proud of. Eventually when we had sex I would have to imagine scenes from tranny porn in order to keep an erection. My sensitivity was gone so I would fake moan as she would ride me and try to make me orgasm which I never did. Eventually the boarders opened and I left her for Mexico where I immediately found another women who I would consider a sex addict. The first date we went for coffee then to the woods where I continuously touched her. After that we went back to my hostel and had sex for two or three days in a row I couldn’t feel anything but my erections were back to normal. Eventually I left her for another Mexican state. I contacted the Guatemalan ex-girlfriend and we started a long distance relationship which I remained faithful to for a while but eventually broke it off as I become insecure about the communication patterns she was displaying. I eventually got to a Mexican state called San Luis Potosi where a women who’s dad owned a furniture store begged him to let me have a job. (Her and I would have sex through video many nights before I began traveling. I met her on tinder while she was in America visiting her sister for surgery.) Eventually I began working for him and her and I had sex. She was very overweight but I felt bad because if it were not for here I would not have been able to be there. She eventually tried to go for sex another day but I couldn’t bare doing it again at that point. I eventually made my way back him as I was becoming extremely anxious to socialize with coworkers and everyone else. I started to get serious about quitting this addiction after my 25th birthday and eventually found this workshop. I now notice myself to still be incredibly anxious around people and I would even overhear guys at my last job questioning if I was gay or talking about me being gay because I looked anxiously looked at a penis. I check out women incredibly often and even guys when I have large levels of anxiety. I have a big fear about acting out with a transsexual.

- Roles
- One role was that it helped me to deal with the anxiety I felt around my family.
- Another was that it helped me to deal with the shame I felt from being isolated
- It helped me to deal with heart break in my relationship
- It caused me depression and anger
- Helped me to satisfy my girlfriend
- It helped me to deal with the stress I felt from hiding it from my ex
- Helped me to deal with loneliness
- Also helped me to deal with my shame from escalating to other categories.
- Plays a role in me beginning to rebuild my life.

Question 2:

- Death of my parents:
- I have not been very close with my parents in all honestly. If they did die at this point it would hurt because of the lack of connection we have. Addiction could play a role in helping me to manage the sadness and guilt that I hold. It would be similar to a warm hug in a time of need. It could also play a role in me neglecting the responsibility that it was me who didn't initiate the conversations. For addiction to come back into my life would make me feel like a failure. Like I failed to uphold to values I created. For me with my current mindset, it would be a rapid collapse. I would feel so much guilt just for allowing it to slip back in that I would end up binging. I would look for signs of me not taking care of my health or picking up habits of drug use. Maybe even habits of me thinking of going back to pornography and rationalizing it in my mind. Lastly, a daily slipping in my disciplines. I would take the actions of looking over my vision, evaluating my goals, and looking into the daily health monitoring.

- Global Pandemic (or event that causes a lot of the world to have to stay indoors):
- This would cause tremendous boredom and/or stress. Addiction could play a role in a false sense of entertainment or running away from the anxiety felt by being in my thoughts. Again I would feel a lot of shame and if I am married maybe anxiety from hiding it from my wife and possibly children. It would again be a rapid collapse due to bingeing once I got back into it. I could look for signs of little productivity, weakness in discipline, and thoughts about viewing pornography. Actions I would take in this situation would be meditation and spiritual practice along with a home exercise, yoga routine also maybe developing a way to spend more time with my family.

- Death of a Partner:
- If a future partner died for me I believe that it would destroy me. Addiction would definitely play a role in helping me just to survive after something like that. If addiction came back into my life at that point it would probably give me a feeling that my life is over. It would definitely be a rapid collapse for me. I would look for signs of depression or hopelessness. I would go to a therapist, listen to spiritual lectures, meditate, and go outside on hikes. If I have children I would spend time with them or contact them to keep my spirits high.

- Death of a child
- This would also be very painful. Addiction would definitely play a role in helping me just to survive. If addiction came back into my life at that point it would probably give me a feeling that my life is over. It would definitely be a rapid collapse for me. I would look for signs of depression or hopelessness. I would go to a therapist, listen to spiritual lectures, meditate, exercise, and go outside on hikes. I would also look to comfort my wife.

- Loss of Job
- Addiction could play a role in releasing me from the stress of feeling like a failure. If addiction came back into my life I would feel like even more of a failure and also have some shame. In this case, it would probably be a subtle progression as this is not trauma and I will go to look for another job. I would look for signs of sadness, depression, anxiety, and shame. I would take actions on mindfulness, daily exercise, looking for another job, and talking with friends, health monitoring, and re-evaluating my values.

- Retirement
- Addiction could play a role in filling in the gaps of my boredom. If addiction came back into my life at this point I would feel depressed and also feel the need to hide it from my wife. It would probably be a subtle progression at this stage at this is not too stressful of an event in my life. I would look for signs of hopelessness, a feeling of failure, extreme isolation, etc. Actions I would take would be setting goals, and getting into activities that align with my values.

- Having another child
- Addiction could play a role in the stress relief of what it takes to take care of a child. If addiction came back into my life at this point I would feel defeated and a lot of anxiety due to all of the stress being experienced from the child and hiding it from my partner. In this case, it would be a rapid collapse because of all the stress. I would look into how I am dealing with my stress and anxiety. Actions I would take would be going back to the health monitoring, looking over my vision and reasons for change, and discussing it with my partner.

- Car accident
- Addiction could play a role in helping me relieve the trauma experienced from the accident. It would not feel too great. Maybe at first, it would give some relief from the trauma. Depending on the severity of the accident it could be either a rapid collapse or subtle progression. I would look for extreme signs of stress. I would take the actions of speaking with my wife, and a therapist, evaluating my health goals and plans and practicing mindfulness.

PostPosted: Wed Dec 22, 2021 11:06 pm 

Joined: Sun May 23, 2021 12:35 am
Posts: 33
Lesson 21 Exercises:
1. What large goals have you attempted in your life and failed? Why do you suppose you failed?
1. Tried to quit porn through willpower alone
1. I failed because I did it for a source outside of myself (a woman)
2. I didn't have any plan or strategy going into it.
3. I had not looked into any kind of recovery forum, therapy, etc. All I did was try to learn neuroscience.
4. I had not come to terms with my negative beliefs
2. Attempted to start a business by making a website.
1. I did not know anything about it but was merely enthusiastic and started on a whim
2. I did not have good habits or discipline
3. I did not have a strong why
3. College
1. I would skip classes and neglect asking for help.
2. My porn addiction was slowly growing.
3. I had no belief in myself
4. Had no plan or direction
5. Did not know how to study
2. What large goals have you attempted in your life and succeeded? Why do you suppose you were able to succeed?
1. I went on a backpacking trip through Central America & Mexico
1. I read about it every day and kept myself excited for the mystery of what I would see.
2. I wanted to get out of an emotional rut
3. I bought the plane ticket
4. I constantly saved the money
2. I learned to swim Freestyle
1. Got a coach
2. Constantly attended the lessons
3. Practiced on my own
4. watched videos
5. Had a why that was motivating to me
3. Graduating high school
1. Made sure my GPA was up to par in order to wrestle
2. Went to tutoring when it was necessary
3. List one recovery goal that you have and break it down into as many smaller, measurable tasks as necessary for you to manage it successfully. If you find this difficult, then you are probably starting off with too general of a recovery goal. Make it specific.
1. Goal: Spend 20 mins each morning assessing my core beliefs for one week
1. Choose a method from a book to assess from
2. Choose a time of day to do the activity
3. apply the method each day
4. Set a reminder in my phone to look at in the morning.
5. List it as my first priority for the day

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