HEALTH MONITORING – WEEK27 1/2/22 – 1/9/22
This week, I’m going to balance my life with the following values:
Over the past 7 days, where did the majority of my meaning and fulfillment come from?
it came from…spending time with family….some stuff for job.
not much for creativity really….
Over the last 7 days, were there any situations or events that drained me?
yes my job search. and my job. and also this job prep with this coach that really derailed my weekend…even though I hired him.
Given the meaning that I've had coming into my life this week, and the amount of stress going out, how well did I do to manage my life?
I did ok…I still was having these obsessive thoughts that I realize is a huge issue to move past my addiction…and it connects to taking action on only 1 value or so and being obsessive about it. but it starts with the thoughts. but maybe I can reverse engineer it by the actions that I take…
Looking ahead for the next 7 days, anything extraordinary that I need to anticipate / prepare myself to manage?
well yes there is some work to do for preparing for interviews….and about job stuff….and my short film…but I’ll be okay
how many times a week did I work out last week?
about three times or so and it felt really good
did I actively listen to others?
not in particular…
did I share or empathize to connect with others?
yes I did with my parents when they were visiting….it was good to see them….
did I actively share kindness with others ie. showing appreciation, gratitude, gift, etc.?
am I being absolutely honest with myself?
I am now. I need to be to fully commit and to fully live in health. no more half in and half out. I need to fully commit to this now. I have a life to build and I want to achieve it. I want to be happy in my job. and to work towards building my career. to eventually have a partner…and to have take care of myself spiritually and physically. I know these things are achievable I just need to move forward.
I need to put boundaries on my obsessive thinking. it usually happens at night time or in the morning. those are times when I would act out in the past.
I need to also remember…when I catch myself living vicariously through someone to gently bring my attention back to the now.
I think the thing is…I don’t just lie on bed….even though it’s my bed…it’s a place to relax…not to get stressed and to ‘think’…which is what it has been. if I can change my relationship with my bed, that may help me in terms of my thinking and obsessions.
I also need to recognize that when I have these obsessive thoughts and / or these random flashes…that they are simply that. I cannot change them. I just need to breathe into them. and practice rain…get myself ready…acceptance…investigate…and note it. that’s all I can do
what is my specific action plan when I do not want to get out of bed in the morning / I am thinking?
what is my specific action plan when I am thinking before I go to bed?
may I be happy
what are some potential unexpected slips i can role play for the upcoming week?
hmmm…well the gym!
so if I see someone and I want to double look I can just tell them in my head ‘may she be well’.
and I can walk into the gym knowing that I am fine though. these are simply people around me working out. and that I can note the sensations and that I can build my integrity that I don’t need to keep secrets from myself and the rest of the world. they are here and I am here too. we are all here together and the thoughts….i can recognize….and that is that. they’ll come and they will go. they do not own me.
I own the destiny in my life. I take responsibility for my life and my thoughts. the thougths do not define me, but they will not control me….they are only that.
how am I handling random sexual / romanticizing thoughts that pop up into my head?
it’s been challenging. I am actively seeking to shift my perspective from a fear based to a curiosity based.
what’s my action plan for being on dating apps, and using them as a healthy way to connect with new people?
not to use them!
when can I practice learning a new language?
when I can talk with my mom
what’s my plan for dating? when will I work on it?
I may join a matchmaker but…not right now…
BOUNDARIES WITH INTERNET:
am I checking my email multiple times a day? what can I do instead?
I’m still checking but yes I can use positive affirmations
am I checking my phone first thing in the morning / emails? what can I do instead?
am I browsing on computer when I want a break?
what can I do instead?
take a walk outside.
am I on the internet at night time before bed?
what can I do instead?
take a walk outside
when I want to check in on phone on social media, what can I do instead?
pull up the UA app to check in / mindfulness…
boundary: to not replace social media with UA since it will lead to the same thing
SEXUAL MONITORING - WEEK27 1/2/22 - 1/9/22
when I am attending a new public place, do I roleplay healthy reactions?
am i thinking / fantasizing of someone from the past, present, or future?
not 1 person specifically
what is my specific action plan for going to the gym and feeling triggered?
to just recognize that everyone around me is just working out! any thoughts and just let them pass. I do not need to fear this. I need to embrace my identity. my core identity. and I need to embrace that I can live with HONESTY with myself….
I can be HONEST with myself and I do not need to hide from the world. my thoughts are the actions the world sees of me.
what is my specific action plan for when thoughts start to sexualize others when feeling overwhelmed?
to note the fear! it’s okay….they will fade. I will disconnect from the romanticizing / sexualizinig. it Is not my fate.
what is my specific action plan for managing sexualizing thoughts when return back to office? romanticizing colleagues?
like the same way when at the gym! to just note. recognize
OH I did have a thought about contacting a colleague and asking her out. but again…I need to meet someone in person. I don’t think that’s a thought I want to indulge on.
waking in up in the night with or without an erection?
am I sexualizing people? (family, friends, colleagues, strangers)
yes and I will move beyond this
am i obsessed with only 1 thing in the past week?
I would say it was my job…but that’s why I need to follow my boundaries to protect these values and to stop when it’s at 6pm
having strong urges prior to something important to me or after something stressful?
have i felt the HIT? (increase in heart rate, out of body experience, AROUSAL) if so, describe it.
what is my specific action plan when I fantasize about another person’s life?
to disengage. take a walk outside. remember the beauty that you have in your own life. also perhaps attend a UA meeting this Wednesday!