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Recovery Nation :: View topic - Dan's Recovery
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Dan's Recovery
https://recoverynation.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=25221
Page 9 of 9

Author:  Kenzo [ Mon Jan 03, 2022 11:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dan's Recovery


Author:  DanRecovers [ Sat Jan 08, 2022 5:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dan's Recovery

Recovery Workshop: Lesson One
Laying the Foundation for Permanent Change

From the comparison of climbing Mt. Everest...
Simply wanting wanting to recover is not enough. It takes effort. It takes commitment. And it take time to adjust to your new altitude.
And you will fail if your are not properly trained. And the Recovery Workshop is the training manual.

Addiction is a pattern of destructive behavior that is rooted in compulsion and emotional immaturity. I will repeat that again for me...
Addiction is a pattern of destructive behavior that is rooted in compulsion and emotional immaturity.

I will not be starting over my life. But I will be building new "additional" foundation for perceiving my addiction and my life.

Change...
The only permanent thing in this world is change...
I want to continue living the life that I have foreseen a few years back when I started this workshop.

My Primary Motivation for Recovery
Is that I want to change my life.
I want to live the life that I had envisioned.
I want to achieve my full potential.
I want to live a meaningful life, and I know my life will never be perfect.

"I want to... Not because I have to."

"The single greatest predictor of success — be it in business, relationships, or in addiction recovery — is found in the sincerity of the commitment to succeed."
"You will never recover from addiction — ever — without the desire to eliminate it permanently from your life."

I have already chose Active Recovery, and I will continue to do so...


Lesson 1 Exercises:
A. Three keys to establishing a successful foundation for permanent change in early recovery are:
1) actively committing yourself to change
"Right now, I know I have changed a lot since I started this Recovery Workshop about 3 years ago. And I'm committing to continue changing. To continue to learn and live a fulfilling life."
2) not allowing guilt/shame to sabotage your commitment to change
"I have already shared my situation to a close friend of mine. And also to my current girlfriend. I am blessed to be accepted and supported by the people that are close to me. Guilt and shame will never sabotage my commitment to change."
3) allowing yourself time to change.
"Time, effort, and continuous building of habits are the things that I have learned from my journey. I have been applying this to my life. Though, there are times that I need to be reminded of this. Going back to this workshop will provide me a way to do so."

B. Motivation to seek change in my life:
1. I want to be happy on where I am. True joy and peace comes from within. It does not come from outside circumstances.
2. I want to share my true self with the great people around me.
3. I'm going to become a better son to my parents. And I know they will be proud of me.
4. I'm going to become a better brother to my younger siblings. I will become a role model to them.
5. I'm going to become a better partner to my woman. And I know I will be leading our relationship for the greater good.
6. I will learn the career that really suits me. And I will have the strength to take the risk of what I really want out of my life.
7. I will have my own business. A business that provides me passive income. Providing me time to spend my life with my family, friends and partner.
8. I'm going to achieve my dream of exploring different places in the world. Learning the cultures and experiencing different activities on the countries that I will visit.
9. I'm going to grow spiritually. Learning more on my purpose. And doing what I was intended to bring into this world.
10. I'm going to continue putting time and effort on the things that I enjoy. Such as cooking, playing my guitar and piano, singing, dancing, exercising, socializing, building businesses, and sharing positivity with other people.

C. Picture of me when I was a child:
I have done this. And as I have read from the first post I had with Recovery Nation. I cried...
Right now, the photograph is currently with my partner, she kept it somewhere safe, and I trust her for that.
Currently, I feel that I am in the process of healing or close to being healed. I love this child. I love myself, and I will always will be.

Author:  DanRecovers [ Sat Jan 08, 2022 6:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dan's Recovery


Author:  DanRecovers [ Sun Jan 09, 2022 3:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dan's Recovery

Recovery Workshop: Lesson Two
Establishing a Healthy Vision for Your Life


Addiction and its consequences are merely symptoms. You have to learn to manage your life in a healthy way.
Shortcuts that provide immediate emotional relief (which is good in the short term), but is detrimental for my long term health which is very very bad).

It was not the addiction that triggered the life crisis...it was the lack of healthy life management skills that triggered the addiction...

In a healthy recovery, YOU become the leader of your life — not the follower. And certainly not a subordinate to some behavioral pattern that has developed in your life.


Lesson 2: Exercises

My Vision

1. Start At The Very Beginning
Going back when I was a child, I was fond of reading about science and space. During summer time, I would proceed to read Almanac books, Tell Me What Series, Tell Me When, etc. Additionally, I was fond of watching Discovery Channel Series’ such as Myth Busters, Man Vs. Wild and other series from Discovery Channel.
Most of the games that I play when I was alone was computer games such as racing games, and real time strategy games. When I’m with people such as my classmates in Grade School. I would play games such as running, dodge ball, and hide and seek.
I can also remember, that I had an experience wherein my father would bring me to the farm and I had a fun time trying to plant corn. I was interested on the how’s and what’s of farming.
One aspiration that I wanted to be back then was to become a scientist. Someone that can invent something new. One event wherein my classmate was asked me what to I want when I grow up, I honestly replied to him that I wanted to become a scientist or an inventor. We joked at each other that I would be doing a functional laser gun for him in the future.
I didn’t like to do was to review subjects that didn’t have an appeal to me. I also was not fond of being scolded by my parents specially by my mom. I didn’t want to sleep in the afternoon because I thought that I can still do more instead of just sleeping in the afternoon.
I also remember that it was very fun spending time with my friends and people that have the same age as me. Playing with them, creating friendships, spending time together with them and having fun.
When I was a child, I was hooked at playing video games. Car racing games, role playing games. Just plain video games. I can also remember that I was fond of helping my yaya to do house hold chores such as in cleaning or doing the laundry.
I remember how happy I was to have a portable play station given to me by my parents.
I was fond of playing with my cousins. I had this cousin that comes in our house and we share beds together. We play things such as computer games, watch TV together, etc.
Back then, I was not judgmental toward people. I talk to people no matter if they are rich, good looking, have high IQ or what. I don’t categorize people based on what they can give toward me. It’s just plain acceptance of who they are.

2. Start At The Very End
In my funeral, I want to be surrounded by my children and with my grandchildren, I also want to be surrounded by my younger brother and my younger sister. I would also like to see some of my relatives in my funeral, such as those that were my close friends when I was just a child. I also want my wife to be in the funeral. And also my close friends that had become part of my life.

As a father to my children, I want them to see me as their friend but at the same time respecting me as their father. To my sons, I want to become a role model to them as how a man should be and how he treats people. How would a man would be like and how to express and manage his emotions through healthy outlets. To my daughters, I would like to show them how they should be treated well, that they should be happy just the way they are and I want to become their stronghold whenever there are problems in their lives. To my wife, I would want to be the husband that would listen to her and the one that will treat her right. I would want to show her how much I love her. I would want to have alone time with her, talking about our lives and have intimate moments with her sharing our deepest dreams.

To my parents, I want to become a great son to them on my own ways. I want them to acknowledge me for my strengths. I would want to show them my love and to return the favor to them for providing me the things that I needed when I was still a vulnerable child. I would want to forgive them for their shortcomings, and lift up the bad feelings that I have for them. I want to accept them as who they are, since I know they are giving their very best in the fields that they have chosen to undertake and have committed the choices they think that are best for our family. Before they reach the very ends of their lives, which would probably be about 30 to 40 years from now, I want to make them feel how to live life and help them establish a means of income, wherein they are no longer experiencing the stress that they are taking up right now.


3. Your Ideal Self
Stories from people starting from nothing and then through self discipline and changing the courses of their lives inspires me. Additionally, those people that were once weak then becoming physically strong makes me feel inspired. These people that have these stories and then returning back to were they came from.

My talent would be maybe singing and dancing? It seems effortless to me to sing some certain songs and I love doing this thing when I’m stressed.

Something that I want more out of my life would be calmness and mindfulness. When these two things increase in my life, I would become better. And think more clearly. I also want my life to become happier, to become more adventurous, confident and pursue things that I want to try out. To go out of my comfort zone and explore the world. I also want to surround my self with people that encourage growth on values that I currently have and could provide values that I can lean to when the time comes.

Something that I want more in my life would be productive things. Things that contribute to my ideal self.

I want to lessen stress and loneliness in my life. Though I want to push myself to the limit, I want my life to have my stress in a concentrated manner that it brings satisfaction into my life. I also want to lessen negativity out of my life.

In the movies, I wanted to be more like Captain America, he has integrity, passion, strength, responsibility and a man of his words. He is loyal, disciplined and adored by people. With still knowing how to take care of himself and the people around him.

Discipline and joy appeal to me. The inner things that make me who I am.



4. My Dream Life
If I had no obligations, if my resources where infinite, if there were no obstacles in my life, I would like to travel the world and learn things from different countries. I always want to explore and have fun. I wanted to go out. To try new things for myself. I want to have a life wherein I am more adventurous. To see different places and to learn about different cultures.

Same as, I want to learn how to dance, And I want to become a great singer, a great performer. I want a career that I enjoy and make a living that would really provide a great amount of money for my family and for my future.

I also want to become handsome. To have a better body built. I want to be my best self and look good. I want to have clear and radiant skin. And I want to become happy and provide a smile that is true and have white teeth.

Where would I be? I would have different properties for me to stay. I would have a beach resort, I would have a condominium in the Metro, I would have a property in the countryside for me to take a rest and have some quiet time, I would have a yacht for my family to enjoy to. And I would have a place wherein my family to relax, a resort with pool and entertainment system for my family and friends.

Who would I be with? I would be with my family and my relatives. At the same time, I spend time with people that are also successful in life and are doing things that are helping the society. I would be with people that I help to have a living and I would be with people that do the same as me.

My surroundings would look clean and organized. I would be in a building that provides me a place of relaxation to boost my productivity. There would be a place wherein I could be with nature, a place that would provide me time to spend with nature.

My pursuits. Things that I would devote my time to help people, making money, making the environment better, organizing the environment and making a place that would provide better health for people. I would like to create systems that provide positive health related things. Additionally, I would like to perform for the people, to share my emotions through singing songs.

What would I talk about and What Motivates Me? ...
I would talk about health in general, physical health, emotional health, social needs of humans and other things. I would talk about values, and different things regarding about what I’ve learned about life. I would be talking about the importance of social connections, their impacts in the personality and about success in life.

What could you spend an entire day doing and not grow tired, bored, drained from or frustrated with? ...
Singing?
Exploring? Travelling?
Reading?


5. Identify My Domains. What Do I Want to have Control in my Life?

• Family
o Parents
o Siblings
o Relatives
• Friends
o Mutual Activities
o Hobbies
o Old Friends
o New People
• Career
o My Own Time
o Work Life Balance
• Finances
o Main Source of Income
o Additional Source of Income
o Business
• Health
o Physical
o Mental/Emotional
o Social
• Stress Management and Recreation
o Hobbies
o Travel
o Other Ways to Release Stress

Author:  DanRecovers [ Sat Jan 15, 2022 8:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dan's Recovery

Recovery Workshop : Lesson Three
The Role of Values


Values
If your values are consistent, your identity will reflect consistency. If your values are in conflict of one another, you identity will reflect conflict.

"Values perform a specific role in life, that is to generate energy,"
"In a healthy person, values provide the motivation that drives their behavior."

Lesson 3: Exercises
Values List
1. Learning things
2. Reading
3. Watching educational videos
4. Playing with people
5. Enjoying life
6. Pursuing interests
7. Saying no to my dislikes
8. Protecting myself
9. Being responsible
10. Doing things for myself
11. Doing my chores
12. Creating friendships
13. Playing video games
14. Playing with my toys
15. Connecting with people
16. Sharing my life with people
17. Accepting people for who they are
18. Being a role model to my future family
19. Being a role model to my siblings
20. Being a good man for my relatives
21. Being a great person to my friends
22. Being a great father to my future children
23. Being a great role model to my future sons
24. Being a protector to my future daughters
25. Being a great husband, and protector to my future wife
26. Being a great son to my parents
27. Forgiving my parents for their shortcomings
28. Provide my parents things that they haven't experienced yet
29. Help my parents in establishing a business
30. Help my parents retire so that they can enjoy life
31. Establish and continue self discipline
32. Become physically strong
33. Help those that I came from
34. Sharpen my talent in singing
35. Develop my skill in playing the guitar
36. Develop calmness
37. Being more adventurous
38. Surrounding myself with encouraging people
39. Being more positive in life
40. Develop integrity
41. Learn my passions
42. Be more responsible
43. Create intimacy with my wife
44. Travelling to different places
45. I want to explore the world
46. I want to try singing as my career
47. I want to become more handsome
48. I want to have a better body built
49. I would have different properties to stay
50. I would have a beach resort
51. I would have a place where there is nature
52. I would be with my family
53. I would be making money
54. I would be helping other people
55. I would be sharing the ways to success

Author:  DanRecovers [ Sat Jan 22, 2022 7:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dan's Recovery

Recovery Workshop: Lesson Four
Prioritizing Your Values

Lesson Four: Exercises
Prioritized Values
1. Enjoying Life
2. Creating Friendships
3. Being a Role Model to My Future Family
4. Being a Role Model to My Siblings
5. Being a Great Husband, and Protector to My Future Wife
6. Being a Great Son to My Parents
7. Become Physically Strong
8. Develop my Talent in Singing
9. Develop my Skill in Playing Guitar
10. Develop Calmness
11. Being More Positive in Life
12. Develop Integrity
13. Being More Responsible
14. Create Intimacy with My Wife
15. I would be Making Money
16. Learning Things
17. Doing Things for Myself
18. Becoming More Handsome
19. Be More Adventurous
20. Pursuing My Interests

Author:  DanRecovers [ Sat Jan 29, 2022 3:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dan's Recovery

Recovery Workshop: Lesson Five
Identifying Incongruent Values


Lesson Five Exercises:
This are still my Top Values... I would be basing my life with it.
1. Enjoying Life
2. Creating Friendships
3. Being a Role Model to My Future Family
4. Being a Role Model to My Siblings
5. Being a Great Husband, and Protector to My Future Wife
6. Being a Great Son to My Parents
7. Become Physically Strong
8. Develop my Talent in Singing
9. Develop my Skill in Playing Guitar
10. Develop Calmness
11. Being More Positive in Life
12. Develop Integrity
13. Being More Responsible
14. Create Intimacy with My Wife
15. I would be Making Money
16. Learning Things
17. Doing Things for Myself
18. Becoming More Handsome
19. Be More Adventurous
20. Pursuing My Interests

Author:  DanRecovers [ Sun Feb 06, 2022 7:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Dan's Recovery

Recovery Workshop: Lesson Six
Building Proactive Actions Plans I


Lesson Six Exercises

Proactive Action Plan: Enjoying Life
Have Time For Yourself
- every weekend plan to enjoy some time off
- goal to have me time everyday even work days
- spend time with friends; ask them to hang out; call friends
- spend time with family; call them
- watch movies, eat healthy food, go out

Try New Things
- try new things listed on my notebook such as hiking, going to other place, etc.
- go out your comfort zone; learn from other people, have an open mind.

Groom Yourself
- go to the barber once a month
- have a massage
- buy good clothes for yourself


Proactive Plan: Doing Things for Myself
Accept My True Self
- I’m a calm and kind person. Accept it. And protect yourself from abuse.

Achieve My Dreams
- I want to have a peace within me
- I want to be with my family
- I want to be happy and calm.
- I want to become rich and have a great amount of money
- I want to have a good partner. Someone who respects me

Have Time for Myself
- Learn more on what I want out of my life
- When I borrowed my father’s spare car, I will spend some weekend somewhere by myself.

What Makes Me Smile
- Exercise makes me feel better
- I want to be with good and calm people
- I will continue listening and playing calm music

Money Matters
- Spend money for yourself.
Go to the barber.
Buy yourself good clothes.
Eat food that you really like.
Buy skincare products.
Save money. You don’t have the responsibility to spend for other people.
- Learn more on what things you want to spend my money into.

Morning Affirmations
- have time for your morning routine.
- sleep at 10 PM for you to wake up at the time you need to wake up.
- Positive affirmations.

Proactive Plan: Creating Friendships
Connect with Old Friends
- chat friends from college; try to go out with them
- chat friends from high school; ask how they are doing
- chat friends from elementary; ask how they are doing

Connect with New People
- connect with coworkers with the same habits and wants
- talk to people who interest you; even strangers
- talk with mentors who interest you

Talk to Women
- it's okay to talk to women. Just know your limits and know your boundaries.
- set the mood. If friend, good friends, acquaintance, etc.

Talk to Men
- be the man that you want to be. Just be yourself. Love yourself.
- you are a man just the way you are.
- men respect you and your opinion.
- talk to men. Just Do It.

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