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PostPosted: Mon Feb 21, 2005 9:23 pm 
Recovery Coach (Admin)

Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 10:32 pm
Posts: 4572
The following rules are intended to provide a safe, pleasant and valuable experience for all community support participants:

1) All participants agree to refrain from providing any identifying and/or personal information that can lead to contact outside the scope of this workshop. For the safety of the community, no outside communication--including attempts to communicate--with members outside of this community will be tolerated.

2) This workshop is intended to be anonymous. Do not provide anyone associated with this workshop your full name, phone number, address, e-mail address, place of employment, social security number, credit card information or other such identifying information. The sole exception to this would be your coaches' need for your first name and e-mail address. There is NEVER a time when anyone associated with will need anything more from you.

3) or any of its representatives make no guarantee towards any particular individual's prognosis for recovery/healing. Recovery is the sole responsibility of the person seeking assistance.

4) This workshop is intended as a supplemental tool in an individual's healing process and encourages every participant to be evaluated by a licensed healthcare professional to diagnose any significant mental health issues (e.g. depression, obsessive/compulsive disorder, anxiety disorder, etc.)

5) This workshop is free to anyone struggling with compulsive sexual and/or romantic behavior. Do not give out financial information or make any sort of payment to for your participation in this workshop.

6) requires that every person attending this workshop does so of his/her own free will. No professional diagnosis/predetermination of an actual addiction need exist to participate.

7) nor any of its representatives are responsible for an individual's destructive behavior--either to themselves or others. All participants with afflictions outside of compulsive sexual/romantic behavior are required to seek their own mental health professionals for evaluation and treatment. Those with compulsive sexual/romantic behaviors are also encouraged to seek out a private mental health professional.

8) Although this is an online, anonymous site, any statements of suicide, homicide or other threatening behavior will be reported to the proper authorities and we will use any means necessary to protect those in danger. That includes the use of any information gained on this site for the purposes of stalking and/or harassing participants.

9) All advice, insights and suggestions made by and their representatives (including Workshop Coaches) are done so in an effort to educate the individual, not as an attempt to provide clinical treatment. This holds true even when such coaches are certified mental health professionals.

10) does not provide treatment of any kind. It offers educational services and coordinates a voluntary personal and community support platform.

11) Participants are to post only in their respective forums. As in, partners will post in the partner's forums; those in recovery will post in the recovery forums. The exception to this is when you are openly invited to post on a particular topic by the author of that topic. In the title of the thread it will say "Both Sides Welcomed" or something similar.

Other than what has been listed above, this is a flexible, personal workshop that exists to meet your goal of stabilizing and rebuilding a life effected by another's addiction.

Jon Marsh
Recovery Coach

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 6:41 pm 
General Coach (Admin)

Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2008 1:49 pm
Posts: 3962
The following are the updated rules to allow our forums to continue to be a positive and helpful place. They are an addition to what has been posted above.

1. Have a Purpose for Your Questions.

This community strives to provide meaningful, useful feedback that can be used to effect change in a person's life. For such feedback to be ongoing, the posts themselves should be targetd towards specific issues in your life/recovery/understanding. Most general questions have already been answered elsewhere in the site (through workshops, archives, other pages) and so, ensure that you limit your questions to areas that you are truly interested in exploring. As opposed to mere curiosity-motivated posts.

Providing ongoing, useful feedback is a time-consuming, exhausting--but meaningful--task. Providing the same feedback over and over again to individuals who are 'just curious' takes away from those who are sincere about using such information to better their lives. Please respect this.

2. Be Aware of Unhealthy Forum Use.
Addiction boards, chat rooms and even recovery itself can become highly addictive. To maintain proper balance and perspective, you are strongly encouraged to limit the number of posts to this and any other forum you may be active in (e.g. no more than one or two per day is reasonable; with the exception of an active crisis); limit the number of minutes spent in social chat rooms; and to guard against making recovery a lifestyle. The internet can be a wonderful place for those who learn to use it responsibly. It can also serve to reinforce the very patterns of compulsion and obsession that they are seeking to eliminate. Trying to impose your thoughts, views, feelings or beliefs is another example of unhealthy forum use. While sharing is a very important part of the forums, and even disagreeing can be a healthy outlet, doing so while also putting down someone else's beliefs or being insensitive to how someone else is healing whether you agree with it or not is unhealthy for everyone and nonproductive. This type behavior is strongly discouraged and monitored. Please be aware of how directing negativity towards others can have a huge impact on someone's healing or recovery.

3. Share Openly; Listen Openly
These forums are to share and discuss all issues relevant to addictions, compulsions, obsessions, recovery, inspiration, etc. This includes all different perspectives, behaviors and is in almost all cases non-judgmental. Allow others to seek the answers that will work for their life; stay focused on seeking your own answers.

When you share, share openly, but with the understanding that you have no control over what people do with your thoughts/experiences/suggestions. Measure your success in the community by knowing that you shared openly and truthfully and with respect. Not by the responses you may or may not receive. Becasue, while your thoughts may not get through to that person, rest assured that they may very well get through to someone down the road.

When you receive feedback, do so with the understanding that you are the ONLY person capable of processing that information for YOUR life. Should someone suggest something to you, or observe something in you that does not apply to you...move on. Make sure that you really understand what they are saying, decide whether or not you can use it...and then move on. This is basis for what the moderators use when they say "Take what you can and leave the rest"

When you listen, remember that these are real people with real issues. They are not 'addicts, perverts, codependents, partners, etc.' Each person is or has experienced very real trauma in their life. And this fact alone is enough to demand respect in their efforts to seek out help in dealing with that trauma.

4. Err on the Side of Sharing
Each forum has moderators who are there to help ensure that the environment remains productive and action-oriented. And so, with a little common sense in place, do not concern yourself with whether or not what you are posting is appropriate for a particular forum. Post what is important to you. Post what you are trying to find out/explore. If it has a purpose to you in your recovery/healing process, then it has a purpose in the forums. Just allow the moderators to do their jobs in helping to monitor and guide the discussions to the most appropriate areas (without taking things personally). Please be aware that this is speaking to getting information that will help YOU it is not a pass to be used as a way of injecting negativity or bias onto the forums. Again use common sense and be respectful to others when posting.

If you are observed posting something that is inappropriate by a moderator it will be deleted and put to the team and/or the administrator for a decision on whether it will be reposted or left deleted. This is rare and should not be seen as a personal affront but rather a way to keep the forums on track and a positive experience for all. Unless you get a specific message from admin or another board moderator, you can assume that your post was appropriate. So, relax. Share what you want, when you want...just be open to feedback that is geared towards a focus on your goals and the site's goals.

PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 6:50 am 
Partner's Coach (Admin)

Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2007 3:07 pm
Posts: 5200
Point 5. Have a purpose for your contribution

When you contribute in the community support forum, make sure your contribution relates back to the original inquiry. If you wish to have a conversation about a new subject that comes up within a discussion, please start a “new topic” for that purpose. This way, member’s who wish to read about a particular subject can do so without being sidetracked by tangental conversations--it helps to keep RN’s forums concise and well-organized.

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. (Viktor E. Frankl)

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