Recovery Workshop: Lesson Two
Establishing a Healthy Vision for Your Life
Addiction and its consequences are merely symptoms. You have to learn to manage your life in a healthy way.
Shortcuts that provide immediate emotional relief (which is good in the short term), but is detrimental for my long term health which is very very bad).
It was not the addiction that triggered the life crisis...it was the lack of healthy life management skills that triggered the addiction...
In a healthy recovery, YOU become the leader of your life — not the follower. And certainly not a subordinate to some behavioral pattern that has developed in your life.
Lesson 2: Exercises
1. Start At The Very Beginning
Going back when I was a child, I was fond of reading about science and space. During summer time, I would proceed to read Almanac books, Tell Me What Series, Tell Me When, etc. Additionally, I was fond of watching Discovery Channel Series’ such as Myth Busters, Man Vs. Wild and other series from Discovery Channel.
Most of the games that I play when I was alone was computer games such as racing games, and real time strategy games. When I’m with people such as my classmates in Grade School. I would play games such as running, dodge ball, and hide and seek.
I can also remember, that I had an experience wherein my father would bring me to the farm and I had a fun time trying to plant corn. I was interested on the how’s and what’s of farming.
One aspiration that I wanted to be back then was to become a scientist. Someone that can invent something new. One event wherein my classmate was asked me what to I want when I grow up, I honestly replied to him that I wanted to become a scientist or an inventor. We joked at each other that I would be doing a functional laser gun for him in the future.
I didn’t like to do was to review subjects that didn’t have an appeal to me. I also was not fond of being scolded by my parents specially by my mom. I didn’t want to sleep in the afternoon because I thought that I can still do more instead of just sleeping in the afternoon.
I also remember that it was very fun spending time with my friends and people that have the same age as me. Playing with them, creating friendships, spending time together with them and having fun.
When I was a child, I was hooked at playing video games. Car racing games, role playing games. Just plain video games. I can also remember that I was fond of helping my yaya to do house hold chores such as in cleaning or doing the laundry.
I remember how happy I was to have a portable play station given to me by my parents.
I was fond of playing with my cousins. I had this cousin that comes in our house and we share beds together. We play things such as computer games, watch TV together, etc.
Back then, I was not judgmental toward people. I talk to people no matter if they are rich, good looking, have high IQ or what. I don’t categorize people based on what they can give toward me. It’s just plain acceptance of who they are.
2. Start At The Very End
In my funeral, I want to be surrounded by my children and with my grandchildren, I also want to be surrounded by my younger brother and my younger sister. I would also like to see some of my relatives in my funeral, such as those that were my close friends when I was just a child. I also want my wife to be in the funeral. And also my close friends that had become part of my life.
As a father to my children, I want them to see me as their friend but at the same time respecting me as their father. To my sons, I want to become a role model to them as how a man should be and how he treats people. How would a man would be like and how to express and manage his emotions through healthy outlets. To my daughters, I would like to show them how they should be treated well, that they should be happy just the way they are and I want to become their stronghold whenever there are problems in their lives. To my wife, I would want to be the husband that would listen to her and the one that will treat her right. I would want to show her how much I love her. I would want to have alone time with her, talking about our lives and have intimate moments with her sharing our deepest dreams.
To my parents, I want to become a great son to them on my own ways. I want them to acknowledge me for my strengths. I would want to show them my love and to return the favor to them for providing me the things that I needed when I was still a vulnerable child. I would want to forgive them for their shortcomings, and lift up the bad feelings that I have for them. I want to accept them as who they are, since I know they are giving their very best in the fields that they have chosen to undertake and have committed the choices they think that are best for our family. Before they reach the very ends of their lives, which would probably be about 30 to 40 years from now, I want to make them feel how to live life and help them establish a means of income, wherein they are no longer experiencing the stress that they are taking up right now.
3. Your Ideal Self
Stories from people starting from nothing and then through self discipline and changing the courses of their lives inspires me. Additionally, those people that were once weak then becoming physically strong makes me feel inspired. These people that have these stories and then returning back to were they came from.
My talent would be maybe singing and dancing? It seems effortless to me to sing some certain songs and I love doing this thing when I’m stressed.
Something that I want more out of my life would be calmness and mindfulness. When these two things increase in my life, I would become better. And think more clearly. I also want my life to become happier, to become more adventurous, confident and pursue things that I want to try out. To go out of my comfort zone and explore the world. I also want to surround my self with people that encourage growth on values that I currently have and could provide values that I can lean to when the time comes.
Something that I want more in my life would be productive things. Things that contribute to my ideal self.
I want to lessen stress and loneliness in my life. Though I want to push myself to the limit, I want my life to have my stress in a concentrated manner that it brings satisfaction into my life. I also want to lessen negativity out of my life.
In the movies, I wanted to be more like Captain America, he has integrity, passion, strength, responsibility and a man of his words. He is loyal, disciplined and adored by people. With still knowing how to take care of himself and the people around him.
Discipline and joy appeal to me. The inner things that make me who I am.
4. My Dream Life
If I had no obligations, if my resources where infinite, if there were no obstacles in my life, I would like to travel the world and learn things from different countries. I always want to explore and have fun. I wanted to go out. To try new things for myself. I want to have a life wherein I am more adventurous. To see different places and to learn about different cultures.
Same as, I want to learn how to dance, And I want to become a great singer, a great performer. I want a career that I enjoy and make a living that would really provide a great amount of money for my family and for my future.
I also want to become handsome. To have a better body built. I want to be my best self and look good. I want to have clear and radiant skin. And I want to become happy and provide a smile that is true and have white teeth.
Where would I be? I would have different properties for me to stay. I would have a beach resort, I would have a condominium in the Metro, I would have a property in the countryside for me to take a rest and have some quiet time, I would have a yacht for my family to enjoy to. And I would have a place wherein my family to relax, a resort with pool and entertainment system for my family and friends.
Who would I be with? I would be with my family and my relatives. At the same time, I spend time with people that are also successful in life and are doing things that are helping the society. I would be with people that I help to have a living and I would be with people that do the same as me.
My surroundings would look clean and organized. I would be in a building that provides me a place of relaxation to boost my productivity. There would be a place wherein I could be with nature, a place that would provide me time to spend with nature.
My pursuits. Things that I would devote my time to help people, making money, making the environment better, organizing the environment and making a place that would provide better health for people. I would like to create systems that provide positive health related things. Additionally, I would like to perform for the people, to share my emotions through singing songs.
What would I talk about and What Motivates Me? ...
I would talk about health in general, physical health, emotional health, social needs of humans and other things. I would talk about values, and different things regarding about what I’ve learned about life. I would be talking about the importance of social connections, their impacts in the personality and about success in life.
What could you spend an entire day doing and not grow tired, bored, drained from or frustrated with? ...
5. Identify My Domains. What Do I Want to have Control in my Life?
o Mutual Activities
o Old Friends
o New People
o My Own Time
o Work Life Balance
o Main Source of Income
o Additional Source of Income
• Stress Management and Recreation
o Other Ways to Release Stress
"I Think For The Most Part If You're Really Honest With Yourself About What You Want Out of Life, Life Gives It To You" - Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor)